Reviews For Tamaranian Toilet Training
I don't have much to say, but very entertaining ^_^
Date: Oct 09, 2013 03:11 am [Report This]
Great story, dude! I remember watching Teen Titans back in the day, but after awhile, I stopped watching them. My guess is I moved on. Anyway, with my nostalgia aside, This is a good Fic. The olny reason I haven't pointed out the possible spelling errors you said to point out is because everyone (Well, not every member on the Site) has already pointed them out and I didn't wish to annoy you with something you already know, not trying to be a jerk. I give this a rating of five. Good job, man. Keep up the good work.
Date: Jan 28, 2013 07:32 pm [Report This]
Cool. I like your little addition to Starfire's anatomy. However there are still spelling errors. "Does" and "minute" are each misspelled several times.
Author's Response: Thanks again. Fixed the ones I noticed. Some time I may go back and look over it again.
Author's Response: Thanks again. Fixed the ones I noticed. Some time I may go back and look over it again.
Date: Jan 02, 2009 02:13 pm [Report This]
Again a very good story. Like mentioned, only some slight spelling errors that did not distract too much from the three (Starfire's counts as two!) dumps taking place. This isnt your last work I hope.
Author's Response: Again, thank you. That means a lot from one of my favorite authors. One thing I can say for sure is I will do more stories eventually. If Starfire's dump was worth two, some of your girls must have done three or four worth!
Author's Response: Again, thank you. That means a lot from one of my favorite authors. One thing I can say for sure is I will do more stories eventually. If Starfire's dump was worth two, some of your girls must have done three or four worth!
Date: Dec 04, 2008 05:00 am [Report This]
Several times in the story you used "weight" when you should have used "wait." This was the only glaring error I noticed.
That being said, outstanding work. Two sizeable dumps for the price of one. I always imagined Raven as one who'd be a bit to shy and reserved to take a buddy dump, but you managed to put her in a spot she wouldn't normally be in and capture her character quite well. Starfire was spot on.
Great story. I wish you'd post a little more frequently, but this one was worth the wait.
Author's Response: Thank you! That weight/wait has been driving me crazy for a wile. I knew it was wrong but I didn't know how to fix it (and yet somehow I was too lazy to actually look it up...) I put a lot of time into trying to keep the girls as much in character as possible given the situation. I had hoped I got Raven's attitude and Starfire's stiff way of speaking right. I still think it's a little generous to say that was really worth it, but I really am trying to get a few more done next year.
That being said, outstanding work. Two sizeable dumps for the price of one. I always imagined Raven as one who'd be a bit to shy and reserved to take a buddy dump, but you managed to put her in a spot she wouldn't normally be in and capture her character quite well. Starfire was spot on.
Great story. I wish you'd post a little more frequently, but this one was worth the wait.
Author's Response: Thank you! That weight/wait has been driving me crazy for a wile. I knew it was wrong but I didn't know how to fix it (and yet somehow I was too lazy to actually look it up...) I put a lot of time into trying to keep the girls as much in character as possible given the situation. I had hoped I got Raven's attitude and Starfire's stiff way of speaking right. I still think it's a little generous to say that was really worth it, but I really am trying to get a few more done next year.
Date: Dec 03, 2008 11:53 am [Report This]
I really liked this story, and I thank you for answering my challenge in such an entertaining way. You pick a good way to start it off, and you even surprised me, since I thought it was going to be about Raven trying to use a Tamaranian toilet. I've never read or watched "Teen Titans" (although I know Starfire from other D.C. comics), and don't know much about it at all, so I couldn't really tell what planet this was set on in the beginning.
You have a lot of well-worded descriptions throughout. In my reviews I usually list sentences I love, but here there are simply too many.
The image of Starfire when Raven finds her sitting on the toilet is hilarious. The hugging scene is another great mental image. Of course, any image of Starfire that relates to peeing or pooping is an enjoyable one. I love the part about her misinterpreting what Raven means by "go." I never would have thought of that. I also like how Starfire has orange poop, but I was disappointed that you didn't mention what color her pee is. I also would have liked to hear how Starfire might be different from a human woman "down there."
When Starfire asks Raven if she's all right, I think it would be better if Raven claimed that Earth people always evacuated like that. That way she could cover up the fact that she'd been holding it in too long.
Now I'll point out the spelling errors I noticed. You wrote, "Barely able to hold back her furry..." I think that's supposed to be "fury." "Legs not strait but bent inwards and tense as if pressing her thighs together and clenching her butt cheeks." This is a great sentence, but the word meaning unbent is spelled "straight," while the body of water is spelled "strait." You also wrote "minuet" instead of "minute," "dose" instead of "does," "yea" instead of "yeah," "wile" instead of "while," and "quit" instead of "quite."
But the spelling errors aren't that distracting. An enjoyable read!
Author's Response: Thanks. It seems you like my whole style of writing, because you loved my last one too as I recall. I knew the "Teen Titans" characters from the show where assembled from different comic books, but I never read any of them. Still, I'm glad you had some kind of background with the Starfire. I hope her personality is similar as I spent so much time getting it correct. I like to think I'm a little funny, so I always try to add some humor elements to everything I wright, glad someone agrees. Thank you for your time spent picking out all my spelling mistakes. I went through and (hopefully) fixed all the ones you mentioned plus one or two I found myself. I'm sure it's not perfect, but it is a lot better and I'll let it stand this way unless someone has a real problem with something. As a reward for all your hard work, I added back something that you mentioned that I had originally had in mind but left out of the final version, see if you can spot it.
You have a lot of well-worded descriptions throughout. In my reviews I usually list sentences I love, but here there are simply too many.
The image of Starfire when Raven finds her sitting on the toilet is hilarious. The hugging scene is another great mental image. Of course, any image of Starfire that relates to peeing or pooping is an enjoyable one. I love the part about her misinterpreting what Raven means by "go." I never would have thought of that. I also like how Starfire has orange poop, but I was disappointed that you didn't mention what color her pee is. I also would have liked to hear how Starfire might be different from a human woman "down there."
When Starfire asks Raven if she's all right, I think it would be better if Raven claimed that Earth people always evacuated like that. That way she could cover up the fact that she'd been holding it in too long.
Now I'll point out the spelling errors I noticed. You wrote, "Barely able to hold back her furry..." I think that's supposed to be "fury." "Legs not strait but bent inwards and tense as if pressing her thighs together and clenching her butt cheeks." This is a great sentence, but the word meaning unbent is spelled "straight," while the body of water is spelled "strait." You also wrote "minuet" instead of "minute," "dose" instead of "does," "yea" instead of "yeah," "wile" instead of "while," and "quit" instead of "quite."
But the spelling errors aren't that distracting. An enjoyable read!
Author's Response: Thanks. It seems you like my whole style of writing, because you loved my last one too as I recall. I knew the "Teen Titans" characters from the show where assembled from different comic books, but I never read any of them. Still, I'm glad you had some kind of background with the Starfire. I hope her personality is similar as I spent so much time getting it correct. I like to think I'm a little funny, so I always try to add some humor elements to everything I wright, glad someone agrees. Thank you for your time spent picking out all my spelling mistakes. I went through and (hopefully) fixed all the ones you mentioned plus one or two I found myself. I'm sure it's not perfect, but it is a lot better and I'll let it stand this way unless someone has a real problem with something. As a reward for all your hard work, I added back something that you mentioned that I had originally had in mind but left out of the final version, see if you can spot it.
Date: Dec 01, 2008 04:26 pm [Report This]
Whew finally, another buddy dump story!
Nice one, kinda remind me of Orpheum's Melfina fic! Although I'm not a big fan of Teen Titan, I have no problem in enjoying the story. The story is simple yet interesting! I don't have to watch the corresponding episode to get the picture in my mind ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad it fit in with the original of this type. It's good to know that it was enjoyable even to people who haven't memorized every episode (like me).
Date: Dec 01, 2008 05:25 am [Report This]
This is pretty good. Nice to see someone else doing taking the 'girl learning to use the toilet' theme I pretty much invented :P
There certainly seems to be a lot of spelling errors, namely the word 'wait' being confused with 'weight' several times. Alongside that, there are others. I would say just look it over and fix them where you see 'em. Also, I would say that Raven does act a little too nice towards Star, not completely out of chacter, but a little more apathy might have worked since Raven usually tries to remain distant almost all the time.
Author's Response: Ya, as I said, I always wanted to try one. I'm going to address all the spelling stuff in Jimmy's comment, but yes, I will try to fix it soon. I actually proofread these things two or three times before I post them, but I guess I just suck that bad at spelling, and that's why I asked for help. I tried to think of every possible reason for Raven to act so "nice". Besides having experienced a similar situation herself and secretly being interested in these things in the story, she did finally open up to Starfire in that episode where they switched bodies and that's what I was basing this on. I see her as being more open when she's alone with a single person instead of in a group (but maybe I'm just projecting myself onto the character.)
Date: Nov 30, 2008 11:27 pm [Report This]