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Title: 1. The Teacher: Lesson One: Desperation Reviewer: Havik Signed
I love the setting, the characters, and everything. But I didn't like the piss and shit part. And you need to work proofreading better. It got in way a lot when I read this. I also think the characters  lack some detail. They all seen like generic characters from anime.
Date: Mar 24, 2011 09:09 pm [Report This]
Title: 39. Snow! It's Snow! Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
There's not much to this chapter, but it has some nice character moments.
Date: Feb 26, 2009 04:25 am [Report This]
Title: 34. Not Quite Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
I enjoyed this chapter. The dialog seems natural for teenage girls, whereas the dialog in many of the fics here is over-the-top (partly because many of them are based on animé with over-the-top dialog). I like the thing about Yuu feeling naked walking home alone. I can actually relate, weirdly enough. And the part with Yuu helping Alex make it to a place where she can pee is cute.
On the negative side, it seems unlikely that Alex would have to urgently pee so suddenly, when there's no mention of her being so much as uncomfortable before. It seems to me that she should have either had to pee from the beginning of the story and it got worse and worse, or there should have been something to suddenly make her have to pee badly (like the sound of rain, or getting chilled by a cold wind up her skirt). However, once she's desperate, you describe her desperation well.
Date: Feb 26, 2009 04:20 am [Report This]
Title: 12. Alex\'s Problem\'s Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
This is like 2 different chapters, a comedy and a drama. I liked the stuff with the improvised peeing-container and Alex's mom wanting her to hurry up and finish her pop. But I wondered what happened to the "wine" in the fridge. Does that figure in in a later chapter?

Author's Response: no, the 'wine' doesn't appear in a later fic
Date: Feb 26, 2009 04:05 am [Report This]
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