Author's Response: Thank you. I myself thought it sorta dragged at some spots.
Author's Response: Thank you. I myself thought it sorta dragged at some spots. I'll work on a balance in my next work.
Author's Response: Thanks. I've read that putting water directly on the crotch is sometimes more effective. Anyway, I was thinking of maybe doing something with the incident on Ox King's mountain for my next one. I mean, Oolong wet himself in the canon, so why didn't Bulma have a similar reaction...
Not bad. But I think you could use a little work in some areas. For one, you explain some things as though everyone already knows what is going on and also some explanations were a bit out of place, that is to say they could have been phrased better.
Also.... I don't anyone would have minded the more perverted elements, well maybe if there were implied rape, but everything else was fine as it was.
Author's Response: Thanks for the tips. I didn't expect everyone to know the setting as well as I did either, but I went in thinking those who read stories based on Dragon Ball would have an understanding of the setting. As for the perverse part, I knew it wouldn't bother too many people, but I was more concerned with my own tastes. Even I have some standards. Again, thank you for reading and your advice for future stories.