Reviews For Fog Advisory
so where are the other 3 parts? i'd love to see them
Date: Jun 23, 2012 09:43 am [Report This]
Great job , i love persona 4 and the girls in it are hot so this is great ;) . I hope to see more from you .
Date: Oct 25, 2010 04:45 pm [Report This]
Very nice. This very much reminds me of Sakura from Street Figther, perky, strange, and able to shit megatons! XD
Maybe you should consider doing another where the two meet, or perhaps you, me, and Yarr. Hope to see more of this, Chie is pretty hot. She should mess herself, too. Heheheheh.
Date: Oct 23, 2010 08:57 pm [Report This]
By the end of the 1st paragraph, I had already made up my mind that you're an excellent writer. The opening sentence is great. It sets the scene, and I couldn't guess the 2nd part of the sentence from reading the 1st part. After introducing Chie, you give us some great scenery descriptions (something I often miss in these fics), then describe her shivering in a vivid, articulate, clever way.
Your knack for descriptions continues throughout the story, making her pooping, peeing, and desperation very enjoyable. Besides that, there's a pleasant dose of humor. I like the part near the beginning where she yells to herself in determination, then realizes it's an odd thing to do. It's a very animé moment. And I love goofy fantasy sequences, so I took special delight in the part where she envisions passing a pop can.
I have 3 complaints, none of them very serious. I think you should have done more with the fog. I felt like it was only a minor detail, not something worthy of being in the title. Another thing is the shifting of tenses, which it looks like you're aware of and can fix easily. Finally, I wish you had more of a physical description of Chie. She's incredibly cute, by looks alone she's one of the most attractive manga-style characters I've ever seen, and I would love to read her fully described in your style. You seem to just focus on her legs and private parts.
I look forward to reading more from you (especially if it's focused on peeing).
Your knack for descriptions continues throughout the story, making her pooping, peeing, and desperation very enjoyable. Besides that, there's a pleasant dose of humor. I like the part near the beginning where she yells to herself in determination, then realizes it's an odd thing to do. It's a very animé moment. And I love goofy fantasy sequences, so I took special delight in the part where she envisions passing a pop can.
I have 3 complaints, none of them very serious. I think you should have done more with the fog. I felt like it was only a minor detail, not something worthy of being in the title. Another thing is the shifting of tenses, which it looks like you're aware of and can fix easily. Finally, I wish you had more of a physical description of Chie. She's incredibly cute, by looks alone she's one of the most attractive manga-style characters I've ever seen, and I would love to read her fully described in your style. You seem to just focus on her legs and private parts.
I look forward to reading more from you (especially if it's focused on peeing).
Date: Oct 23, 2010 01:46 am [Report This]
Excellent job, my man! You have breathed new life into this site.
Date: Oct 21, 2010 05:29 pm [Report This]