I'm only familiar with the barest bones of Starcraft's story, but the character work here is still pretty poignant.  I did not expect a story on here to make me feel things--er, emotional things. 

I love this story! You have done an excellent job capturing the very complicated and formidable character of Sarah Kerrigan, and you made her extremely sexy as well. Like you, I think the SC2 plotline was cheesy and lame and I am glad you found a good middleground to tell this story in. I really enjoyed starcraft and broodwar and I did not like how they dumbed down the plot for SC2. I think your concern of "too much infodump & show not tell" is unfounded, I thought you hit upon a good balance. After all, you can't really have a lot of dialogue between her and the mindless zerg. My only minor complaint is that I would have liked more farts and more descriptions of her scat, but you did an excellent job of describing how it made her feel. That part really did it for me. I also loved how you snuck Jimmy Raynor in there, haunting the corners of her memories, that was great. :-)