I finally got around to uploading 2 of my fics. The rest require more work before I'll feel good posting them again. I'm leaving the Naa story out since there's no desperation or pooping in it, even though it sets up a poop story.
Enjoy "Tazarel and the Giantess" and "The Long Walk Home." ^_^
Now here's a funny link for no reason: http://www.superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1011:jimmy-olsens-hate-in&catid=29:confounding-comic-covers-index&Itemid=32 ^_^
Edit: The linked page moved, so I changed the link accordingly.
I read the giant one and the only problem I had with it is that you included my character, Lynn Kiddo in your characters section, I'm sure it was a mistake, but you should remove it the next time you get the chance.
Oh come on, AL...
You know he only did that because he, like me, loves Lynn so much... :p
Seriously, yeah... he shouldn't have done that, but as you said, it was prolly just a mistake, so no worries...
FallenStar
That's odd. When I previewed it before submitting it it said "Characters: 0." At any rate it should be fixed now.
Update: I put up some challenges, in case you're looking for ideas.
Further update: I put up a story I just wrote called "Time."
Update: I put up "The Princess and the Pee" (revised).
Update: I put up Chapter 1 of "The Wonderful Artifact of Naa." Anyone who wants to is free to write Chapter 2.
Update: I put up a story I wrote yesterday called "Urina." Like "Tazarel and the Giantess" and "Time" it was written within 1 day based on an plot I came up with within a few minutes, so it should be well-unified, if not particularly complex or nuanced. I will do a more thorough proofreading of it soon.
Jimmy is it possible for you to type a story about mortal man wanting to marry a gaintess?
Quote from: S.T. the Kitsune on October 11, 2007, 09:58:14 AM
Jimmy is it possible for you to type a story about mortal man wanting to marry a gaintess?
I will write a story like that if I can think of a good plot for it. I already have an idea about a Centaur man who wants to marry a human woman, but first needs to find a way that they can have "marital relations," which seems impossible because his "manhood" is too big for her. So I might just write that instead.
Update: I put up "The Lights Go Down," my entry in Contest IV.
Update: I uploaded a story-beginning to the Nyou 2 "stories" forum (not worthy of Nyou Fiction).
Funny link for no reason: http://www.superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1060:most-nonsensical-cover-ever-yes&catid=29:confounding-comic-covers-index&Itemid=32
Edit: The linked page moved, so I changed the link accordingly.
Update: I finally added a new story to Nyou Fiction. It's a little different, but please check it out.
Funny link for no reason: http://www.superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1068:jimmy-vs-the-little-people&catid=29:confounding-comic-covers-index&Itemid=32
Edit: The linked page moved, so I changed the link accordingly.
Update: Added 2 more commercials (as chapters of the original). I am open to suggestions for new products.
Funny link for no reason: http://icanhascheezburger.com/category/mythbusters/
Great LolCat :)
http://images.mylot.com/userImages/images/postphotos/1538133.jpg
is one of my favorites
Anyhoo, in regards to my review of your second chapter, "Still passable" should probably have been "Still, passable." I didn't mean to imply that the writing itself was merely passable ^^.
Will read/review the 3rd chapter l8r.
That'll be great. So far no one has specifically reviewed the 3rd commercial.
Muhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahhhahahahahaaaa! *Thunder boom*
I have hijacked this thread to make an announcment, I have just added 3 (count 'em, 3!) new stories! The first is a reboot to my Yuna short story from the trilogy. The second is a prequel to Poowrite's "The Gullwings' Contest", which acts as a bridge between it and my "Yuna and Rikku poop their panties."
The third story is a follow up chapter to my W.I.T.C.H story, Desperate Times.
Now, please go read. Enjoy. And review! I command you-ooooeeeeoooooo *Like Mentok*
Quote from: Jimmy Olsen on February 10, 2008, 02:14:39 AM
That'll be great. So far no one has specifically reviewed the 3rd commercial.
By ... by Jove I haven't reviewed that one. WTF?! I read it, why didn't I review it ??? .
Anyhoo, situation taken care of.
I'll check your stories out later today, Orphuem. Looking forward to reading them.
Fire Nation Ladies story? That wouldn't perhaps be the idea where Azula turns an accident into a victory for the good of the Fire Nation would it? ;D
To be honest, I've been kinda playing around with the same idea in my head. I just need to figure out a situation that would easily allow for her to get caught short, but still pull off a praise worthy feat.
Anyway, read and review my new stories, please! 8)
Oh noes! My thread is been skyjacked! :kawaii:
I read and reviewed those Yuna stories. Good work, Orph. :)
Thanks for the review, Poowrite. I was beginning to worry I'd never get a critique of the 3rd commercial. :)
I'm halfway through my ghost story. Further commercials have been pushed back. 4 of them are pretty much done in the sense that I've put down every actual idea in them, I just need to flesh out the visuals and turn the keywords into complete sentences. You'll hear more from me soon. ;D
I need 'ta get off my arse and put my story on paper. I kno what's gonna happen, I've just been incredibly lazy lately ^.^
And yer welcome for the review. Though, I gotta say the second was my favorite. Had a lot to do with subject matter, though :0)
Quote from: OrpheumZero on February 21, 2008, 03:16:30 PM
Fire Nation Ladies story? That wouldn't perhaps be the idea where Azula turns an accident into a victory for the good of the Fire Nation would it? ;D
To be honest, I've been kinda playing around with the same idea in my head. I just need to figure out a situation that would easily allow for her to get caught short, but still pull off a praise worthy feat.
Yeah, the problem I'm having is Azula never loses. I'd kinda like her to have an accident, not push it out on purpose, but that seems like losing :-X. Gotta be some way to turn that into a victory a-la Toph and Katara's wetting accidents in Bend This!
I'll come up with something though. I gotta include May and Ty-Lee, too.
Quote from: Poowrite on February 21, 2008, 06:42:12 PM
I need 'ta get off my arse and put my story on paper. I kno what's gonna happen, I've just been incredibly lazy lately ^.^
And yer welcome for the review. Though, I gotta say the second was my favorite. Had a lot to do with subject matter, though :0)
Quote from: OrpheumZero on February 21, 2008, 03:16:30 PM
Fire Nation Ladies story? That wouldn't perhaps be the idea where Azula turns an accident into a victory for the good of the Fire Nation would it? ;D
To be honest, I've been kinda playing around with the same idea in my head. I just need to figure out a situation that would easily allow for her to get caught short, but still pull off a praise worthy feat.
Yeah, the problem I'm having is Azula never loses. I'd kinda like her to have an accident, not push it out on purpose, but that seems like losing :-X. Gotta be some way to turn that into a victory a-la Toph and Katara's wetting accidents in Bend This!
I'll come up with something though. I gotta include May and Ty-Lee, too.
Simple, have Azula taking on a powerful earthbender general of a remote village. Like Ty Lee, he could affect a person's body and cause them to suddenly fall asleep, sneeze uncontrollably, or lose control of their bodily functions. Thinking he'll win by having Azula high tail it to poop, our fierce fire princess instead drops her load right then and there in her pants all the while delivering the final blow to her foe.
Thanks for the reviews, and I hope to see even more. Though I am having a problem, for some strange reason I can't respond to reviews. It keeps saying I'm not allowed to that. Hopefully it'll clear up soon.
Until then I'll at least make one response here: Jimmy, in your review to Five girls, one bathroom. You thought the girl Taranee was bit bitchy, I didn't mean for her to come off as such. I thought I made it clear she was desperate and had taken the opportunity to go right from the start. I'll admit, it is a bit mean to put yourself before someone else who is in dire need, but if you had to go really bad you'd probably take care of your business first and foremost.
I'll admit it probably does need some revising, as does the Surveillance. But they can wait for now, there's no immediate need.
I updated the Five Girls story, and applied some changes based on the flaws that were mentioned. I believe it now flows even better than the original attempt. So please go and re-read it. ;D
Update: I posted my entry to the story contest. I'll be gone for a while, so please leave your review for me. Also read and review my commercials if you haven't.
Funny link for no reason: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/02/24/funny-pictures-invizible-chess/
Quote from: OrpheumZero on February 22, 2008, 01:32:04 AM
Simple, have Azula taking on a powerful earthbender general of a remote village. Like Ty Lee, he could affect a person's body and cause them to suddenly fall asleep, sneeze uncontrollably, or lose control of their bodily functions. Thinking he'll win by having Azula high tail it to poop, our fierce fire princess instead drops her load right then and there in her pants all the while delivering the final blow to her foe.
If you're not gonna use this one do you mind if I do something with it, Lord Orpheum?
*Dressed like a roman*
Hmmmm.......*Thinking*.......I say......*Thumps up* Do as you shall!......
..... ^-^
That's... THUMBS-Up. Geez, no wonder you Romans were conquered. :P
Well maybe thumbs were called thumps in ancient Rome and you just don't know a damn thing about Roman culture, FS ;D
Thanks for yer premission, Orpheum. I shall see what I can come up with :).
Quote from: FallenStar on March 17, 2008, 02:38:24 AM
That's... THUMBS-Up. Geez, no wonder you Romans were conquered. :P
*Now thinking like an old world European* Tis only a minor spelling trifle, nave. Have at you! *Carrying a 50ft tall white glove* :P
Quote from: OrpheumZero on March 18, 2008, 12:03:34 AM
Quote from: FallenStar on March 17, 2008, 02:38:24 AM
That's... THUMBS-Up. Geez, no wonder you Romans were conquered. :P
*Now thinking like an old world European* Tis only a minor spelling trifle, nave. Have at you! *Carrying a 50ft tall white glove* :P
Not a problem, my good man. I shall meet you on the field of honor at dawn. :P
Quote from: FallenStar on March 18, 2008, 12:17:46 AM
Quote from: OrpheumZero on March 18, 2008, 12:03:34 AM
Quote from: FallenStar on March 17, 2008, 02:38:24 AM
That's... THUMBS-Up. Geez, no wonder you Romans were conquered. :P
*Now thinking like an old world European* Tis only a minor spelling trifle, nave. Have at you! *Carrying a 50ft tall white glove* :P
Not a problem, my good man. I shall meet you on the field of honor at dawn. :P
Cheerio, pip pip! *Rides away on one of those toy poll horses, except it has a duck head instead of a horse*
Quote from: Poowrite on March 16, 2008, 08:42:10 PM
Quote from: OrpheumZero on February 22, 2008, 01:32:04 AM
Simple, have Azula taking on a powerful earthbender general of a remote village. Like Ty Lee, he could affect a person's body and cause them to suddenly fall asleep, sneeze uncontrollably, or lose control of their bodily functions. Thinking he'll win by having Azula high tail it to poop, our fierce fire princess instead drops her load right then and there in her pants all the while delivering the final blow to her foe.
If you're not gonna use this one do you mind if I do something with it, Lord Orpheum?
I just had a thought you might find interesting Poowrite. Have Azula be accompanied by a a chronicler who is writing down her conquest, and at the end she 'suggest' he doesn't mention her little 'incident' in the Fire Nation History records. ;)
Thanks for the suggestion, though admittedly I think this one'll go on the back burner for a moment.
I got a different idea starring Azula and Katara for the new contest I think I'll work on first :).
I'm still alive. I'll go back to hanging around here once I finish certain real-life projects. Hope everything is fine on the ol' Nyou Fiction board.
I just added 4 challenges. I'm currently working on a fic for Story Contest VIII and a requested drawing for Nyou 2. The fic should be done and posted in the next day or two. The drawing might take longer (I can only work on it when no one else is around).
I uploaded "The Frozen Prison," my hasty contribution to the utility waste contest.
The witch was awesome :).
I liked the containment spell, I had been wanting to do something like that for a while.
Cool. ^-^ If you want to write something using N'Celk you're welcome to. Just run it by me before you upload it.
I still haven't finished the ghost story, in case you're wondering. :-[
Quote from: Jimmy Olsen on June 09, 2008, 12:50:46 AM
I still haven't finished the ghost story, in case you're wondering. :-[
Nah, not really :).
Thanks for the offer, BTW, but I don't think I'd be able to write N'Celk that well. And for the record, I'm glad my suggestion to add more normal girls was heeded. Funky colored hair and eyes are fine :)
The first half of my entry in Story Contest IX is now up. The second half should follow shortly.
Update: The second half of "The Island of Moans" is now up.
Funny link for no reason: http://www.superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=783:jimmy-olsen-nazi-hero&catid=30:frames-and-panels-index&Itemid=34
I just uploaded a scene I wrote a while ago to the "Stories" subboard of Nyou 2. I haven't known what to do with it, since it's too short to be a story and I don't know what story to write around it or include it in, so I finally just posted it like it was. Comments and suggestions appreciated.
I just added a collection of 5 short, unrelated scenes. Reviews will be appreciated.
Update: I added some new challenges. My contest entry should be up soon.
"What a Lousy Day for an Exorcism," my entry for the "Hard Day's Work" contest, is now up.
I've now revised "What a Lovely Day for an Exorcism." I corrected errors and improve the wording of sentences, but the content is the same. I will probably do a more dramatic revision after the contest is over and I've gotten more reviews.
Don't let the length scare you away, read it now!
To answer your comment in your reply to my review, I was refurring to this section:
-
"I feel weird every time we do this," Riniko said as she hesitantly climbed aboard.
"If you're afraid you'll have the same problem as before, you can stop at the restroom before we take off," Atsuko said, eager to have an excuse to tryst with porcelain herself.
"Atsuko!" Riniko's shrill voice almost screamed with annoyance. "That was a long time ago! It's not like that could happen to someone my age!"
"Just looking out for you," the young witch said in a polite and serious tone. Most girls would smile or giggle when bringing something like that up, but she was sensitive to the embarrassment of others. Much moreso than others were sensitive to her embarrassment.
-
maybe it's the pervert in me but i assumed the 'problem' to be sexual in nature, I thought that maybe having something pressed against her crotch would've aroused Riniko, so when she said she feels weird every time she does this and Atsuko offered her bathroom, I thought they were talking about Riniko getting 'overstimulated' so Atsuko offers her bathroom so Riniko could 'get it out of her system' before riding.
Oh! No, that was supposed to imply that on a past broom-flight Riniko got so scared she peed her panties. I mean, with the scary heights and speed and all. Atsuko is suggesting she empty her bladder before they fly.
My entry for Story Contest XII is now up. I wrote it on a whim with barely any idea, made it up as I went along, then didn't go back to read it at all, much less edit it. So there are probably mistakes, if not gaping plot errors.
Update: I added my entry to Story Contest XIII, a scene entitled "The Dirty Deal."
I posted an interactive peeing fic based on the Legend of Zelda cartoon. I have some other interactive fics I could post (1 written and others planned, including peeing and pooping), but they star generic schoolgirls, since I couldn't think of anybody interesting for them. I'm hoping somebody will be interested in looking at them and substituting the name and details of their fave schoolgirl characters, which will make them much more interesting to readers and path-adders. Let me know if you'd like to take part in this (it shouldn't be much work).
I posted another chapter to my Bathroom Vignettes. It's only 1,200 words long and should take mere moments to read.
Update: My entry in Yarr's contest, "May 30, 2004," is now up. I've also edited "Re: Ghost Experience," which is part of the same universe
Funny link for no reason: http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=758:most-bewildering-super-villain-ever&catid=36:stupor-powers-index&Itemid=38
Update: I added an InuYasha fanfic I wrote with Dr. Bones to the Interactive Stories section. You can now guide a fully loaded Kagome to safety or disaster as she grapples with the problem of how to privately dispose of her extra weight. It's a response of sorts to a challenge by Junkyjack, and is based on "A Schoolgirl's Dilemma," which I deleted from my "Bathroom Vignettes." Unfortunately deleting the chapter somehow caused that whole story to be deleted.
Funny link for no reason: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/04/28/funny-pictures-mans-best-friend/
From today until Thursday I'll be posting the chapters of my latest story. Each is a bite-sized read that should leave you hungry for the next installment. I just posted the first part, which is for the pee fans, but later on there'll be action for the poop fans as well. Suggestions for what happens next will be considered, but I make no guarantees. Comments and critiques appreciated as always! ^-^
After giving the matter much thought, I've decided to wait one extra day (until Friday) to post the final part of "Never Let Kara Drive." This will give me more time to work on it and hopefully get it up to the length of the other parts. If you have any suggestions for the final chapter, now is the time to post them! I'll probably revise the whole story after it's been up for a little while, so suggestions for the next draft are also welcome. I hope all my readers are enjoying the story so far!
The complete story is now there to be read. I posted the last part later than I said I would, because the power was out in my neighborhood for 7 hours. Hope you enjoy it!
Did anyone save any of my bathroom vignettes? Because I'm having a hard time finding the files of some of them.
Is "Near Angel" one of them Jimmy? I only have that one.
Yes, that is missing! Can you sent it to me in a message?
Okay, I'll do that when I'm home. I'm at work right now.
Great! This is the one I was really hoping to get back, since I'm almost sure I no longer have a copy, and I've been wanting to incorporate it into a novel.
I've sent it already Jimmy :)
Thank you so much! ;D I thought that story was lost forever, and I never would've been able to write it from memory.
Finished "Never Let Kara Drive" and posted my review. Since I am an idiot, I posted it under chapter one, even though it covers the whole story. My bad >.>
I just posted my unfinished fic "Honest Emergency" in the Interactive Fiction section due to popular demand.
Update: In case you haven't noticed I've posted my entry in Story Contest XVA. It's called "It Wasn't Juice" and features Sailor Moon peeing. ^-^ Reviews will be greatly appreciated, since so far I only have 2.
Funny link for no reason: http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/2009/07/syms-face-off.html
I just posted revised versions of "The Frozen Prison" and "It Wasn't Juice." This was mainly to fix errors and awkward sentences and improve the descriptions and dialog. The actual events are only slightly changed.
I posted "Jill Opens the Gate," my brief but (hopefully) enjoyable "Resident Evil 3" fic. I based it partly on a dream I had while researching and planning the fic.
Wow, that was based on a dream? Not bad.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind dreaming that story. ;D
Although, I actually dream this kind of stuff pretty often...much less coherently though, and most of the time I just forget.
I should probably clarify. It was only partly based on a dream. A small part, actually. All I remember from the dream was that Jill was in her S.T.A.R.S. uniform in a dark alley with a zombie and she pooped herself, and that I saw a cutaway of her jeans and panties and saw the poop curling around like a pretzel as it came out of her. I used that image for the story.
On the other hand, I do often have coherent dreams, and I have written stories that were closely based on some of them. I can't remember if I've posted any of those stories here, though.
Well certainly more entertaining and interesting than the chick who claims she wrote "Twilight" based on dreams she had. Yea.... Anybody can come up with generic vampire crap without dreaming.
Speaking of dreams, I had an odd one the other night. It was a story I was writing, but I could somehow watch it play out like a movie. A female archeologist was investigating ruins that she thought she could find ancient alien technology in. She stumbled upon and activated an automatic mummy-maker, which wrapped her up in bandages starting with the feet and working upward. She struggled to get free, which caused her to fall off a ledge just before it wrapped up her head. She fell like a hundred feet, and it scared the crap out of her. Once she landed, she looked right at the "audience" and said, with a blush on her face, "This now qualifies as a diaper fic." I woke up at that moment.
Hahah, that's awesome Jimmy...clearly you've transcended to some higher level of writing, where great stories play out coherently even in your sleep. ;D
I know my dreams are always completely fragmented in terms of narrative...maybe writers don't get that as much? ???
I'm told my dreams have a surprisingly clear narrative (for dreams).
I'm still trying to figure out a way to write a halfway-plausible fic about the dream I had where I was in the unisex bathroom with the bus-load of cheerleaders who were overdue for a pit stop.
I'm still working on the story that was intended for Yarr's 2nd contest, but which I'm now planning to withhold until his 3rd contest begins. Its current word count is 5,600, and I estimate the finished story will be around 12,000 words. It should be truly epic. 8)
As you've probably noticed, I posted a brief pee fic. Reviews, as always, are appreciated.
My epic story is still underway.
12000 words? Sounds like a epic tale and dump indeed.
It will probably overshoot the 12,000 word mark by a lot. It's currently 9,600 words, plus another 1,900 words of synopsis that I haven't converted into scenes yet.
That sounds like a super long story. I look forward to reading it.
Finished reading and reviewing your short pee fic. The review boils down to "You're awesome."
BIG NEWS:
I got a virus the other night and had to format my hard drive.
The Good News: I took steps to back up every text, image, and sound file before I did the format.
The Bad News: For reasons known only to my computer, the only text files that were actually saved were ones with file names beginning with "A" and "B."
The Consequences: My novel was in a separate folder, and seems to be fine. My fleshed-out version of "What a Lousy Day for an Exorcism" is intact. So are my notes for my continuations of "Dungeons and Damsels" and Anime Lover's round robin. All my other Nyou-related work from after July 6 is gone. This includes 4 works I was going to unveil in the not-too-distant future.
One was "Ysé Dashanto," my pseudo-mythical epic culminating in the largest bowel movement ever had by mortal woman, which I believe had just passed the 15,000 word mark. Since two of the subplots were rewrites of earlier unfinished stories, they may be on my disc of text files from July. All other prose, the synopsis, and the cast of characters are gone.
Another project lost was my crossover story featuring fifteen different girls using a high school restroom. I still had a long way to go with that, but I had already completed pages and pages and featured six students and one hot teacher.
Shorter but with much more mental energy invested was a serious sci-fi story that began with a small travel pod (with no restroom) docking on a colony ship in the middle of a trouble-frought insterstellar migration (which is an "emergency landing" as far as one of the pod's desperate passengers is concerned. It featured extensive real-world astronomy, detailed future history, society, and technology, long and perilous bladder desperation for a borderline-Loli character, and descriptions of three different types of alien toilets being used by human females. All of this is lost except for a few sparse handwritten notes.
Finally, there was a "Final Fantasy" fanfic where Terra and Celes have vivid nightmares that make them awake to messy and wet (respectively) sleeping bags, only to then find themselves to be figments of the imagination of a geek girl passed out on the bed of her hotel room at a fantasy convention, whose roommate laying on the same bed (Sandy from "Never Let Kara Drive") has messed and wet her fancy cosplay outfit, soaking the other girl and almost suffocating her with stench. This story was in an earlier stage than the others; just a synopsis plus snippets of dialog.
I may retype these stories, but have no immediate plans, and I honestly fear the time when I will fight the uphill battle of writing my tale of Ysé the Archer to its full glory, if I ever do it at all. To have put so much work into these stories so recently, only to lose them completely, is very dispiriting. The brief outlines I've given above may be the only lasting testament to these thousands of words and dozens of hours' worth of work. I don't know what more to say.
That sucks bigtime, I've had that a couple times myself. However, after last time I've got all my written material backed up on a gmail account, never lost a document since.
It might sound cheesy, but whenever I rewrite or restart a project, it ended up better then the first draft. The story's main source, the brain are immune to most computer wiruses, if nor alcohol and heavy blows..
I'm really sorry to hear that, Jimmy. I've lost work to computer failures before, but nothing that substantial.
I do agree with yarr though...perhaps you should try and see what you remember just for the hell of it. Sometimes good ideas emerge that way.
Oh God Jimmy, I'm sorry man. :001: I can't even imagine what that must be like. It ruins my day when I lose one page (given it takes me almost a whole day to write one page :-[). If that happened to me, I'd probably end up throwing my monitor across the room and punching the first person I saw in the face. >:( >:( >:(
I'd like to agree that you should try to recreate some of them as soon as possible while they're still fresh, but when you've been kicked down that hard, it's really difficult not to feel totally dejected and disgusted. :'(
I just hope you don't give up on the whole community and still at least hang around here and chat sometimes, even if you never write for us again. ^-^
Really, I don't believe this will stop you 8) and we may see some of them resurrected yet someday, but your last few lines really do sound like a memorial, so I'll just say...
R.I.P.
Jimmy Olsen's Lost Stories
We never knew ye.
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
P.S. #%^&*^%&!%$%%(^ YOU COMPUTER!! :009: :009: :008: (That one was for Jimmy.)
That's a shame. Hopefully you can recover whatever stuff you posted on the site here.
Thanks for all the support, guys. I'll write concise plot outlines for the restroom story and the epic, but I have no current plans beyond that.
I revised "By the Forest's Edge," and also posted revised versions of two brief, old stories. All three contain characters I used in my lost high school restroom story, and thinking about those characters made me want to change and flesh out some things.
"Forest's Edge" has by far the most changes. The other two are more or less how they would have looked in my "Bathroom Vignettes" back when it was on the site. If the name "Kara" sounds familiar, it's because the athletic girl in the roommate story is now the same athletic girl in "Never Let Kara Drive."
I'd like to thank Zee Phyro for rescuing my story "Near Angel." :)
It's good to know you'll be trying to recreate the epic and the multi-girl story someday. Really, those are the two off the lost list I would most liked to have seen, but I'm sure I would have enjoyed all the extensive background elements in the sci-fi story too. :(
I reread the old stories that got updated. I'm not going to do full, formal reviews, but I will mention a few things here.
I don't think I said it at the time, but I really enjoyed "Near Angel". As enjoyable is as the descriptions of what Lenore is doing are, the fact that she talks about it so freely the whole time makes it especially enjoyable for me. :kawaii: I'd love to meet a girl like that, especially because I could never actually ask to watch someone in real life. :-[ It could be a little frustrating how genuinely upset Alister is by the whole thing, but I admire you being able to write someone like that so convincingly.
I liked all the detail added to "Forest's Edge". It feels a lot more like a proper story instead of a quick draft now. I noticed you took out the "when I could" line that gave away the ending for me.
BTW Jimmy, I think I found your DeviantArt account today, based on the e-mail address you sent me and some of the things on the profile. I won't mention the account name here (I try to keep this site separate from the rest of my "Internet life" myself) and I sure as hell wasn't stalking you, I just stumbled on it totally by accident wile I was looking around there. ^-^
Are you sure you're going to abandon the FF6 story? I was really looking forward to that :(
Bones: The plot synopsis (if you can call that a plot) of the multi-girl story has already been rewritten (about 5 pages), as has my favorite snippet from it (about 7 pages). I don't think I took anything out of "By the Forest's Edge." There's still the part where ghosty girl says "I never really appreciated a good dump while I had the chance." Writing Alistair wasn't too hard, since part of me still thinks of women as Angels, and I remember what it was like when my first girlfriend would randomly bring up something personal like periods or brasseire underwire.
I'm not sure if I want to post a Deviantart link here, since I'm afraid of my personal interests getting out. Just posting a G-rated photo of a model on a toilet with her panties on on a "cute chick image" thread once got me flamed severely. I hate to think of the fallout I could get if all my fics became public knowledge. But on the other hand maybe I should let the people here see my gallery, since they're tactful enough not to mention too much in the comments section. And I already have drawings up of a diapered woman and a woman squatting over a chamber pot, so it's not like nobody on Deviantart has an inkling...
Livinginfinite: The FF6 story was almost nonexistent even before it was deleted. Most of the file was just notes about the characters and snippets from Toilet Stool about bedwetting that were supposed to serve as guidelines. I didn't get very far on the fic before I found other projects I would rather work on. But I did spend like ten minutes retyping what little I had written, and will post it below. This is actually probably longer than what I had before if you subtract the notes I mentioned above. It's definitely more organized.
"LAYERS OF REALITY AND SOGGY BEDCLOTHES"
Summary:
A party including Celes and Terra are camping inside a system of caves. They're all in sleeping bags. As Celes falls asleep, she's bothered by the eerie surroundings, which include millions of crystalline facets that glisten like watching eyes.
In her dreams they really are eyes. She feels like a trapped animal. She gets out of her sleeping bag and tries to run out of the cave, but ends up where she was before. Only it's smaller now. The cave is slowly caving in around her, and everywhere she looks are eyeballs that eye her in anger or hunger or lust. She sees things moving in her peripheral vision that duck out of site when she looks straight at them, and they're not Fraggles either. In her search for another exit, she runs afoul of some moving stalactites and stalagmites. A set of them chomp shut like teeth, trapping her near a narrow passageway leading who knows where.
Then the cave literally swallows her, and she slips slowly down the narrow passageway, which melts around the contours of her body and scrapes and cuts and bruises her everywhere. In the stomach of the cave there are no eyes, but lava is almost everywhere, and it's so hot she takes all her armor off and continues her struggle for survival in her undergarments. She hops between islands in the lava, hoping some dark corner of the cavern contains a way out. But she falls flat on her back and can't move. The lava is gone, but a stalactite above her is alive. It grows and grows, pointing straight down between her legs, and you can guess what she thinks is gonna happen. But it doesn't grow that far, and turns into a snake instead. It drools warm venom on her undies, and is about to strike when she wakes up screaming.
Terra is already awake, and tells her it's a dream. Celes blurts out that it must be real because her clothes and sleeping bag are soaked with snake poison. Then she wakes up fully and realized in humiliation that she wet herself. It turns out the reason Terra is awake is because the same thing happened to her, only she messed herself instead of wetting.
Then Celes wakes up again. She's not Celes at all. Celes is a fictional character who she's merely cosplaying as. She's Lalla, a geeky yet attractive college student, and her and her friend Sandy are at a fantasy con sharing a hotel room. They were so tired yesterday they fell asleep on their bed with their costumes on. Lalla is horrified to find herself wet in this reality as well, and the scent of ripe human feces is in the air. No wonder she dreamed about pee and poop. But she is not to blame. Sandy, still dressed as Terra, is the culprit for both #1 and #2.
Dialog:
Realizing the source of her wetness, and realizing that Terra knew it too, Celes almost wished a snake had killed her instead. At least the darkness hid the redness of her face. All she could do was sheepishly comment, "These caves play tricks with my imagination."
"I know what you mean," Terra said. To Celes' surprise, there was a hint of embarrassment in her voice as well. Could she have...?
"Did you wet yourself too?" Celes said in a whisper that was almost lost in the howling winds, dripping water, and other cave sounds that surrounded them.
"I wish," Terra said. As she shifted her nubile body around in the sleeping bag, Celes could hear a sticky, mushy sound.
Later Dialog:
Lalla looked at her friend. The Terra cosplay she bore now wasn't quite as exquisite as the one the nerdy boys had been admiring the day before. The mint ice cream-colored wig was in her hand, the makeup was smeared, and there was a trace of drool on her chin. She had obviously woken up just moments before Lalla. But the biggest inaccuracy was in the pink and orange-spotted white pantyhose. A big oval-shaped spot, dark and translucent, marred the garment. What was more, Sandy's panties could be seen beneath the wet fabric, sagging below the ruby-colored miniskirt. Hanes Her Ways on an Esper warrior were a clear anachronism, and Terra had never loaded her clothes with fecal mass in any game Lalla had played.
Lalla's lips parted in surprise. "You...?" was the shape and sound they finally formed.
"I apologize. I have a slight, um...difficulty with...well, nighttime control."
Once Lalla's brain had wrapped itself around the present situation, she said, "No offense, Sandy, but you've lost your bed privileges for the remainder of the weekend."
"I'm not offended. My boyfriend's revoked my bed privileges too."
That's awesome Jimmy, especially for someone who never played FF6. I won't hassle you to work on anything you're not that into, but a fleshed out version of this might be one of my favorite stories of all time.
I read it twice and didn't notice that line but I must have just missed it. :-[
I wasn't trying to encourage you too put a link up here, it was just something funny that I noticed. There's something surprising about running into someone you know from one place in another context. Kind of like bumping into someone you see at work in a store or something.
I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping this place a little secret, if only because you have personal information on that account. The only reason I can write this stuff here is because it would take a bit of work to trace it back to me. Do it if you feel comfortable, but not because of me.
The FF6 story sounds very much like a real dream, even a dream within a dream (like I sometimes have). ^-^
Status Report: I just posted the part of my multi-girl story that I retyped. The rest is summarized as well.
I'm glad my FF6 story is liked, despite being so brief. :) Maybe I will write it out.
I've started summarizing my epic story, but it may take a while. Are the people here interested in reading the summary?
Wow! I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that you recovered so fast and so well from such a dispiriting virus :kawaii:
A summery isn't necessary to me, since I'd rather be surprised, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate it, again I can't state enough how happy I am that you went right back to the drawing... writing board after what happened.
I admire your perseverance, and although I'd like to join you in this writing spree that your currently on... I'm taking some heavy classes this semester and haven't been able to make time to put effort into a story :'( But this summer I'll be MAKING time to stop being a shadow and start contributing to the site I've followed for a quite a while, anyway I just wanted to say how much i respect your determination towards your work ;D
While I am not a fan of poop, I did find this somewhat enjoyable, though as a fan of desperation, I would have loved to have seen Celes/Lalla struggle to hold it longer.
Nothing particularly wrong FF6 story-wise, though it would obviously happen in the World of Ruin instead of the World of Balance. :)
"Wow! I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that you recovered so fast and so well from such a dispiriting virus.
A summery isn't necessary to me, since I'd rather be surprised, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate it, again I can't state enough how happy I am that you went right back to the drawing... writing board after what happened."
Amen to all of that. Absolutely. ;D
I agree that I don't need a summery of the epic. It sounds so good, I'd hate to have it spoiled. :kawaii: As long as you might still make an effort to remake it in a complete form by say, the end of this year, I can wait. I wouldn't have a problem with you putting the summary here if anyone else wants to see it, I just won't read it. ;)
I probably won't end up reading the "Restroom Tales" summary for the same reason, though I did have to peek at the excerpt, just up to the point the cheer squad comes in. It's really interesting to see a bunch of characters who where written for one specific scenario all being thrown in together and forced to interact in a neutral setting, that's probably another reason I like fanfiction. 8) I know you're keeping them all in character, but it's fun to watch Tiffany being so obnoxious when she's not lost in the woods at night and Ai acting more reserved in an unfamiliar country.
Sarah's character reminds me of Su from Love Hina. She at least looks a lot younger than the other characters, has darker skin of an undefined "foreign" ethnicity, and acts spasticlly hyper and weird for no apparent reason. ;D
FallenStar: I like desperation too, but in this case I set out to do bedwetting instead. I think the original request was for FF6 girls to pee and poop in sleeping bags, and that wasn't really condusive to desperation.
Bones: I was wondering if anybody was going to notice Sarah's similarity to good ol' Su-chan. ;) She's in my one of my planned novels, where she she shows up in the main character's bed with no idea how she got there and no clear memories from before he finds her. All the characters are deeply concerned with her identity and past, except Sarah herself. She was originally based on a girl I went to school with, but I was concerned she didn't have much to distinguish her from another character in the book, so I amalgamated her with a third character who was sort of a Su ripoff. But her looks stayed exactly the same, and for all I know the real girl could sue me if the book gets published. Many of the things she says in this little excerpt are quoted or adapted from a different real girl who reminded me of Su and may sue me one day also. I don't know if you cared about all that, I just felt like explaining that Sarah isn't just supposed to be Su-chan with an American name.
Ai and Tsuchibo's true personalities (as depicted in the other stories) will come out more later, as they become more comfortable with each other and Ai also becomes comfortable with Tsuchibo's friends. Bathrooms bring people closer. :)
I've decided not to post my Ysé epic's plot summary (which is far from finished), due to the surprise aspect. Thanks for all your support, guys. ;D
Jimmy: I think Celes' dream sequence could contain desperation if you desired. It would be nice to have some nyou content within the main portion of the story and not just at the end.
Also, since we were on the subject, I think I also stumbled upon your DA account. ;) I actually did a while back and thought 'whoa this looks like Jimmy's art', but upon closer inspection it seems to be you. Makes me kind of nervous actually, I think people would recognize my style if they saw me anywhere else.
Star: There's caves in WoB too...
Quote from: livinginfinite on January 27, 2010, 10:29:44 AM
Star: There's caves in WoB too...
It's not that; Celes and Terra are only in the same party in very few portions of the WoB - the battle of Narshe, and the Floating Continent. Since they are not likely to be that close to each other until the WoR, it makes sense to conclude that they are in the WoR.
Huh, never noticed that. Still, they could be messing around in WoB with the airship before heading to the Floating Continent...although the story reminds me more of the Phoenix Cave than anything else.
There are no caves on the airship, my friend. :P
Come on, you know what I mean...taking the airship to random places in the WoB. Perhaps completing Mog's dance list on the SNES version of the game.
Quote from: livinginfinite on January 27, 2010, 04:50:28 PM
Come on, you know what I mean...taking the airship to random places in the WoB. Perhaps completing Mog's dance list on the SNES version of the game.
I don't really think we should count sidequests, but if you wish...
The shortest distance would involve Crescent Mountain Cave, Serpent Trench, Nikeah (Chocobo Stable), Baren Falls, Veldt. Of those destinations, only the Crescent Mountain Cave is actually a cave and it's definitely not dark at all.
And yes... I'm just overanalyzing because I'm bored and need something to occupy my time with. :P
There also isn't a save point in there, so no sleeping bags. :P However, you'd need to go through the Narshe caves just to get Mog, and that's actually the exact save point I showed Jimmy when I proposed this idea.
There are two ways to go through those caves; the way you showed and another way through the path Locke went through. Either way, you can get Mog far before you'd regain Celes, so unless you waited until the very last minute, you wouldn't have both girls in the party at the time. :P
Then again, life is made up of the most interesting coincidences, so it's totally possible; it's just very rare. ;D
Well, you have to wait 'til the last minute to get Mog if you're playing an LLG, otherwise he screws up your party level average...so it's not that strange of a case.
Also, since we're on the topic of FF6, have you ever written a slave crown desperation fic about Terra? Seems like it'd be your kind of thing.
Quote from: livinginfinite on January 27, 2010, 08:34:38 PM
Well, you have to wait 'til the last minute to get Mog if you're playing an LLG, otherwise he screws up your party level average...so it's not that strange of a case.
LLGs are rare enough as it is. Of course, you'd have to leap off Gau many times and I don't personally know of that many people that would go through all that trouble except those guys on GameFAQs. :P
QuoteAlso, since we're on the topic of FF6, have you ever written a slave crown desperation fic about Terra? Seems like it'd be your kind of thing.
Can't say I wasn't tempted, nor that I never actually wrote anything on Slave Crown Tina, but I've never done a desperation fic like that. I am not 100% I'd be up for that; I've actually hit something of a Writer's Block of late. Haven't typed up anything in ages.
Of course, when you end up hanging around people who are so vastly different than you are, you tend to lose interest easily. lol
Here's a challenge for Fallen: Recently I was watching the start of the Baroque Work saga in One Piece, and saw the episode where Nami and the crew have the party in Whiskey Peak. Well, if you're familiar with that episode, you'll know that Nami drinks about 15 or so mugs in a contest. The Challenge, you ask? A sort of "Lost scene" where Nami deals with all that extra water weight while she's looting the town during Zoro's fight with the bounty hunters.
Why do you always pick anime I've never seen, Orph? :P
Quote from: FallenStar on January 28, 2010, 12:31:36 AM
Why do you always pick anime I've never seen, Orph? :P
*Insert generic rage guy picture* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
Oh darn. :P
Honestly, you have a better chance of picking an anime I haven't seen than one I have seen. There's not much I've actually had a taste for. Yu Yu Hakusho, DBZ, Sailor Moon, a bit of Outlaw Star... those are the ones I mostly stick with.
Orpheum: Hey, you can't override my request with a request of your own! :P
Star: I guess I know what you mean. I would definitely draw more stuff if I thought more people would care.
Star: If you're so smart why don't you write an FF6 fic. ;)
Infinite: Sorry, but I don't think I'll be completing your request any time soon (I had actually forgotten who had made the request :-[ ). I want to focus on my novel for the time being, and it seems I don't know enough about FF6 to write a very good fanfic.
Aw. :( Well, fair enough then. I think you had a pretty good feel for the characters regardless.
Quote from: Jimmy Olsen on January 28, 2010, 12:37:44 PM
Star: If you're so smart why don't you write an FF6 fic. ;)
I have. It used to be up here, but some time ago, I got emo and suicided my account, including all my works. If I ever get the urge for more Celes pee, though, I might rework the fic and repost it. :P
Also, Jimmy, don't take what I said about your fic's story to mean that you shouldn't write another one. You're a great writer and you knew enough that the fic was quite enjoyable as it is. Moreover, if you need any information on the story, just ask me or anyone else 'round here who has played it. We'll be glad to help. ;D
Quote from: Jimmy Olsen on October 16, 2009, 03:17:11 PM
Its current word count is 5,600, and I estimate the finished story will be around 12,000 words.
Coincidentally, 5,600 words is the length of the new synopsis I just finished (finally). I won't post it because I don't really want to spoil a story I may well write in the next couple months. If you don't mind spoilers and want to read it, note me.
Quote from: Jimmy Olsen on January 31, 2010, 01:14:32 AMI won't post it because I don't really want to spoil a story I may well write in the next couple months.
Am I getting it right you're rewriting your lost epic? Very nice, good you got back into it. If not, I don't mind read the synopsis for it.
Quote from: yarr on February 04, 2010, 11:53:50 AM
Am I getting it right you're rewriting your lost epic?
That's the plan.
Quote from: Jimmy Olsen on February 04, 2010, 01:32:58 PM
Quote from: yarr on February 04, 2010, 11:53:50 AM
Am I getting it right you're rewriting your lost epic?
That's the plan.
And somewhere an angel got their wings :kawaii:, but in all seriousness that sounds great
I once again have my own laptop, and the Internet connection is good. I have many tasks ahead of me. I don't know when I'll get around to each one, but I will say that I have plans. The biggest dump in history is going to be chronicled, Sailor Moon is going to be humiliated once more, and a girl from another anime will be dealt with in her own way. I also have other, more tenuous plans. Watch this space.
One idea I've been playing with in my head comes from Majora 4's latest challenge: The formally-attired woman who feels the urge to defecate while having a romantic dinner with her sweetheart. My idea is that she's returning to her hometown after a few years away at college or something, and hopes to capture the attention of her old flame. She even spends weeks living on nothing but small morsels of health food in order to slim herself down and look her best. But when she sees the guy, he barely even notices she's there. He does say he'll call her and they'll have coffee or something, but then she never hears from him.
Our heroine is depressed, and consoles herself with mounds of junk food. The next day, when she has a tummyache to match her heartache, she finally gets a call from the guy. He wants to take her out after all, tomorrow night. To make up for cancelling the last date, he'll bump the date up a notch and take her to a fancy restaurant. Our girl is too flattered to refuse or postpone the date, but the next morning she still feels lousy, because her body still hasn't dumped any of the garbage she put inside it the night before last. In desperation, she downs an elephant's dose of laxatives. But her plumbing is still jammed up at the time of the date, so she stuffs her bloated belly into the dress she bought and tries to put on a ladylike face for her date. Cue inevitable awkwardness and abdominal pain.
How does this plot sound? Any suggestions?
I posted two extentions of Orpheum's interactive Sailor Moon story. They're a revised version of the battle that would have formed the climax of my old unfinished fic.
Great stuff. Hopefully you'll do some more paths again. The Sailor Moon one was pretty good. But which story do you mean it's picking up from?
Long ago, when I was really into Sailor Moon, I started writing a fic called "The Sailor Moon Appreciation Society." I posted part of it under the title "The Long Walk Home." But I never finished it, and now I'm not into Sailor Moon that much anymore and have forgotten a lot about the characters, premise, and formula. So what I've done now is take the bare-bones battle and pooping scene I wrote and flesh it out to fit the interactive thread. Does that make sense?
I'd like to take a moment to share a real-life tidbit. I love writing stories describing the forceful torrents of pee emitted from female characters, and as of last night I no longer believe any of these stories are unrealistic in that respect.
I was at a party at the house of this married couple I know. There was drinking, fun, etc. Anyway, the walls are thin, and I've noticed that you can hear people peeing (almost always the guys, who are much louder) if you're within a few yards of the bathroom. Well, last night I was down the hall and half a room away from the bathroom, and heard someone peeing louder than ever before. It was like as loud as when the sink runs, but it was unmistakably the sound of a a stream of urine flowing into the toilet bowl. When it was done and I'd heard the toilet flush and the sink run, the person who walks out is this young woman I sort of know. She's a pretty small chick, too. What makes this even more amazing is that I'd noticed her spending time in the bathroom less than half an hour before, although I don't know for sure if she peed then.
I just thought I'd tell that little story, since it's Nyou-related, and it was fun and educational for me. ;D
Thanks for sharing Jimmy. I, too, love the sound of a woman taking a pee so forceful it sounds as if it could put out a fire, particularly if it goes on as long (or even longer) than a normal pee. All of my works involve ladies taking outrageous pees, and though obviously the times are exaggerated, I do not believe they are as far from unbelievable as most might think. Just as it is possible for characteristics such as height and breast size to vary considerably, why not bladder size and strength of pee stream? I love sifting through blog entries, finding tales of women just like the one you heard, or on rare wonderful occasions, a first person account of how long/hard she pees.
I posted another Usagi path.
I like the new path, it's pretty much how I was expecting (wishing) the original story to end. I would have loved to have her on the potty in her Sailor Moon costume, but I see how you wanted to tie it in with the other path (I watched those transformation sequences hundreds of times and that never occurred to me ;D).
The ending made me laugh. There was a mini conic on DevintART at one point that had a monster laughing at her when she showed up to a fight like that.
When I read the descriptions of Usagi in this, I imagine the manga rather than the anime, even though I've only ever seen a few shots from it. :)
Glad you weren't disappointed! ;D I'm not sure why it would make you think of the manga, though. I've only read a smidgeon of it, so I doubt my paths and stories are inspired by it at all.
I saw the Deviantart picture, and it gave me the idea. ^-^
"I saw the Deviantart picture, and it gave me the idea."
I was wondering about that. ;)
Would certainly like a link to this picture you speak of.
Sailor Moon: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs21/f/2007/249/e/b/Stuck__by_HinoNeko.png
Multitasker: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs51/f/2009/290/4/6/No_Time_To_Lose_by_Mikeinel.jpg
My new computer just died and had to be sent away for repairs. My files should be fine, but I have no idea when I can be back here on a long-term basis.
stop breaking your computer
This time it was a power surge. I guess I have bad luck.
The corrected version of my joint fic with Orpheum is now uploaded. ;D
In case you're wondering, he wrote most of the first half, while most of what happens after Chisa and Sarah part company was written by me. I also wrote the dream sequence, although you probably didn't need me to tell you that.
I just felt like compiling a list of my major fics, ranked by length.
1. Cylinder - 12,800 words (6 chapters)
2. Deadline - 11,500 words (cowritten by Orpheum)
3. What a Lousy Day for an Exorcism - 8,800 words (3 chapters)
4. Re: Ghost Experience - 8,100 words
5. Never Let Kara Drive - 6,900 words (5 chapters)
6. The Princess and the Pee - 6,800 words
7. The Lights Go Down - 6,500 words
8. Time - 6,200 words (8 chapters)
9. Urina - 6,100 words
10. Tazarel and the Giantess - 5,800 words
11. May 30, 2004 - 5,100 words
12. The Island of Moans - 3,300 words
13. By the Forest's Edge - 3,000 words
14. The Frozen Prison - 2,900 words
15. The Dirty Deal - 2,500 words
Don't you even fucking think of skipping the rest of Witch Hunter Robin, that was an awesome series! ;D
Well that's one show decided on. :)
I started a new Interactive Story called "Alien Toilet." It lets you design a bathroom for an alien race with a different body and culture than ours. The aliens can be anything you can imagine. Centipedes, kangaroos, starfish on stilts, H. P. Lovecraft-style monstrosities, or Star Trek-style aliens that are human except for the details. Then you make the girl I introduced pee and maybe poop in the bathroom you've designed. Or try to, at least. She could lose contol before she figures out how to use the wacky toilet. Or she could mistake a sink or a hand dryer or a decorative sculpture for a toilet with hilarious results. You decide! You also get to choose what she wears.
Besides this, I added new paths to some of the other stories. Check it out!
Totally Toilet!
Written by smittyjenson
WRITER'S NOTE: I hope this story inspires any artists to illustrate this scene...please? As you all know, I've always wanted to see all three TS girls sitting on toilets.
BEVERLY HILLS MALL - 2:13 PM
Sam, Clover and Alex had eaten a big spicy lunch. They were walking down the mall, when Sam felt her belly.
"You OK, Sam?" asked Clover.
"Yeah, Clover," said Sam, "I just have to use the bathroom."
Clover and Alex both held their bellies. "Me too!" the said in unison.
All three girls trouped to the female restroom. The girls walked into three stalls and shut the doors behind them. Clover unbuttoned her faded and patched jeans, pulled them with her aqua blue boyshort panties down her legs to her ankles and sat down on the toilet. Sam unbuttoned her dark blue jeans, pulled them down her legs to her feet, pulled her brief panties down halfway between her knees and ankles and sat on the toilet. Alex unbuttoned her jean shorts, pulled them and her thong down to her knees and sat down on the toilet.
Clover had a fashion magazine with her, and she flickered to the page with the lingerie article. During her reading, her poop seeped out from her butt and into the toilet. Sam had a thick textbook with her, and she read a few pages while she squeezed out her chocolate fundae. Alex was beating her high-score on Tetris, while she went Number 2.
Alex was finishing herself up when suddenly, there was no toilet paper left the the vender next to her.
"Um...Sam? Clover?" she asked, "I'm out of toilet paper and I was wondering you had some."
Clover stopped reading and checked the next to her. "I'm out of toilet paper, too!" she shrieked.
Sam checked hers too. "You're right; WE'RE all out of toilet paper!"
Sam was right: she, Clover and Alex were trapped in the bathroom with no toilet paper.
A little later, the janitor came in.
"Is anybody in here?" he asked.
"YES!" crowed Alex, "but PLEASE don't go! We're out of toilet paper!"
Sam and Clover felt a little embarrassed by Alex's cry for help, but they said nothing.
The janitor was a neighborly sort and he tossed three TP rolls to the girls in their stalls. The girls happily tore some squares off, wiped their butts until they were clean, pulled their underwear and pants back up, flushed and left the stalls smiling. They all thanked the janitor, washed their hands and left the bathroom.
The janitor removed his mask...it was Tim Scam! He removed what appeared cameras from the toilets with an evil grin.
"They don't know what's coming to them," Tim smiled wickedly.
THE END...?
There: what do you think of my story? I'm looking forward to see anyone draw all three spy girls on the can!
??? I'm confused...
I think that was supposed to be posted somewhere else. At least I saw it somewhere else XD
By the way, Jimmy, I do like the idea of the alien toilet thing, but what doesn't set right to me is to continue the story you wrote... I know doing otherwise would kind of kill the point of the 'select your pooptastic adventure' kind of thing the interactive stories have going on, but would it be OK if I made an different story from scratch, but with the same concept? Would it be considered a sequitur of yours? The reason I want to do this is because most stories here are written anime-style (if thats even possible), with elements similar to those seen in anime, and I think is what people might expect, while I want to do something more driven by comedy (of sorts), more occidental if you wish, and thus, doing something entirely different would mess up the story less than actually following it... What should I do???
A new and different alien toilet story would be great! Go ahead!
Well, I tried to write it, but the result is unsettling and terrible. Maybe one day, when I learn some more english, I'll try again.
I'd like to encourage you to post it anyway. We're not judgmental, here.
New story posted. The lack of new material here has been frustrating me, so I wrote a quick and easy accident fic. Once again, I wrote it from the girl's point of view. Hope you like it.
I posted the first chapter of a new original fic. It's called "Sister Golden Hair," although I don't really like that title and will probably change it, so I'm open to any suggestions for what it should be called. I also might consider your suggestions for what should happen next.
Anyway, read it now! ;D
There are updates to "Sister Golden Hair." I've revised Chapter 1, adding an important plot point I'd forgotten to include. It's now been split into 2 chapters, and I've also added a new chapter. A 4th chapter is half-written and should be posted soon.
News Item 1: I've posted a new story, "Cylinder." It's based on a dream I posted a while back. It's my longest yet at 12,800 words. At least that's the count my word processor gives me. The website always gives a higher figure, about 107% of what my computer says.
News Item 2: I've completed "Honest Emergency," 3 days shy of the 2nd anniversity of the 1st draft. Since nobody wanted to contribute to it, I removed the "round robin" tag and added my own ending. There are also minor changes to the previous material.
I'm starting on my next draft of "Cylinder," so I would greatly appreciate your input on what changes I should make.
Also, thanks for the votes, people. :)
I have a little play with the same idea in my head. I just need to find a situation, it is easy for her to go into a brief, but still pull off a commendable feat.
I just posted my entry to the story contest, "Coe il Anthi's Curse." It's about a woman who might be able to challenge Sakura as the Queen of Clogs (if they lived in the same universe).
Quote from: Jimmy Olsen on June 25, 2011, 01:40:29 AM
I just posted my entry to the story contest, "Coe il Anthi's Curse." It's about a woman who might be able to challenge Sakura as the Queen of Clogs (if they lived in the same universe).
Already read and review it :P indeed she was a great contender for Sakura LoL
I just dropped a big load onto the website. 5 regular stories, 1 round robin, and 1 interactive story. I look forward to your continuations and reviews.
Maybe I will review... after you review my Ibuki story. :P
You're right, that is a nice big load. I've gotta finish up my contest entry before I start reading them and get too distracted.
Looks like someone needs to catch up on some of my recent stories! :P (Ibuki and Space Immodesty)
I just revised Chapter 1 of the Huntress story. The heroine now has a different name and appearance. I also added descriptions for the other characters and made many minor changes.
I encourage people to also read and review "Rules of the Orchard." I would love to hear what people think about this story, since I feel like it's my most adventurous writing in a long time.
Check out my listings on eBay!
http://www.ebay.com/sch/aiodaisei6791/m.html?_ipg&_from&_nkw&_armrs=1&_sop=1 (http://www.ebay.com/sch/aiodaisei6791/m.html?_ipg&_from&_nkw&_armrs=1&_sop=1)
There's animé, manga, novels, music, and video games. Bid before they're gone!
Is there anybody interested in reading and critiquing non-Nyou stories? I'm working on entries for a horror story contest. None are finished yet, but when they are I'm hoping I can get some input that will help me polish them up. One has male urination, but otherwise none of them are remotely related to the kind of stories on this site.
Wow, I haven't been active here lately. I thought it would be a good place to write background info for It's Dangerous to Go Alone!
This story is an altered version of a scene I wrote for a project I've been playing around with for the better part of a year. In the book (or whatever it becomes), the reader already knows there are weird things going on by the time Denise and Kimmy are introduced, and will expect something to happen. I'll explain the scene in context (which doesn't help this story, but should make it easier to understand why I wrote it this way). The book involves people disappearing in and around an unremarkable American town, and a small group of friends and relatives of missing persons search for answers. It transpires that they've been crystallized alive and taken to a secret spot for an spacecraft that's due to arrive. The girls pee in separate spots in that version, and Denise (who may or may not become a major character) can't find Kimmy when she's done. She and the other victims are discovered later by other characters, who argue over what the crystal people symbolize until they realize it's not an art installation. They can't find them again later, because the alien's minion relocated the collection after it was found, so they end up looking crazy. The band of heroes gradually puts the pieces together and stops the alien menace. Attention is continually drawn to the peeing statue, which is supposed to be funny because Denise assured Kimmy that no one would see her pee. The demineralization is done without any thought to her privacy, and she finishes peeing without initially realizing that any time has passed or that she's now in public. So Kimmy and her interrupted leak is one thread in a humorous sci-fi yarn that is otherwise unrelated to Nyou issues.
A year later I added new parts to It's Dangerous to Go Alone! which incorporate the feedback from people who read it. I also did some polishing up here and there.
I wrote a story for OmoOrg called Ruri's Manners. I might as well post it here too.