Indecent Proposals

[OrpheumZero]

Some new idea.

Uncharted

Elena is seen entering a rather run-down looking bathroom, her steps a little hasty and distracted

"Oh man.... I think I know what they mean by 'gonna explode', ooohh."  The blonde hair reporter moans, a hand switching from her butt and stomach as she feels pressure and cramping.  Finally she pulls down her black pants, pink panties and sits on the toilet.

"Uggghhhh!:constipation:" She groans, but nothing will budge, "Ohhh man...." She sighs, taking a break, "Nothing like a death-defying adventure to 'plug you up'." She mutters sarcastically as she waits.  Suddenly the door of the dinky little bathroom opens and Nathan Drake enters.

"Elena? Are you busy? I've got something I have to say...."  Drake starts, oblivious to Elena's situation.

"Um.. Drake, I think-" But is cut off as the treasure hunter interjects, "I know we've had some ups and downs, but through thick and thin..."

"Oh please don't say that..." Elena groans inwardly, doing her best to not show any indication that her body was slowly pushing out a thick log.

"No, I have to. I've always been so stupid, letting people take advantage of me, causing all kinds of trouble."  Drake continues, still not noticing Elena's reddening face, both from the embarrassment and obvious discomfort of her fattening log.

"It's fine, Nate! I can wait, reallly...." She nearly moans, feeling a wide part of the log creep through.

"It's gotta be said now before I lose the nerve; sighs; Elena, would you marry me?" Drake gets down on one knee and hold out a shining diamond ring. Elena is stunned, both from the heart-stopping proposal, and the log that is now noisily slipping out her rump and splashing loudly into the water.

A beat.

"This was a bad time, wasn't it?..." Drake asks, a wry smile on his face.

[Quagmire]

So...any critiques on my little attempt?  *braces* 

[Jimmy Olsen]

The Steel Angel Kurumi

*Karinka lounges on the ground*

Karinka: "So bored."

Nagato: "May I show you something, Karinka-san?"

Karinka: (not looking at him) "Sure."

*Karinka looks up to see him opening a little case with a ring in it.  She stands bolt upright, puts her hands together over her hearts, and looks excited and lovey-dovey*

Nagato: "Do you think Kurumi will like this ring?"

*Karinka falls flat on her face*

Karinka: (stands right back up and leans toward Nagato to yell) "Where do you get off doing something like that to me!?!"

Nagato: (oblivious) "I thought, since she's your sister, you would know if this is the right gift for her.  I don't know anything about girls.  Onii-san is the one who picked it out for me, and I'm not sure he knows anything about girls either."

Karinka: "Wait...are you thinking of asking Kurumi-chan to marry you?  Because I'm not sure you can do that when you're only 13...11...15...how old are you again?"

Nagato: (blushing) "Oh no!  No!  I wouldn't ask Kurumi to marry me.  I just want her to know that she's special to me, and that I want us to be together always, so I've saved up and bought this trinket to symbolize my commitment to her."

Karinka: "Sounds like the same thing."

Nagato: "Not really...."

Karinka: "I'm sure she'll be overflowing with glee when she receives this gift." (under her breath) "I was when I thought it was for me."

Nagato: "Thank you!  I'm very happy to hear that.  Where is she, by the way?"

Karinka: "Last I saw she was walking to the outhouse."

Nagato: (blushes more)  "Um..."

Karinka: "It's not like that!  She just goes there to think.  To be alone."

Nagato: "Really?"

Karinka: "Absolutely." (puts hands on hips and looks indignant) "Do you really think Steel Angels like her and I have to do such things?"

Nagato: "No!  I...I mean, I never thought about it."

Karinka: "Go to the outhouse and surprise her with this gift.  She'll melt."

Nagato: "Melt?"

Karinka: "Her heart will be warmed with overwhelming love, you idiot!  Why don't you understand romance?  Now go propose to my sister!"

Nagato: "Um...it's not a wedding ring."

Karinka: "Whatever, just go surprise her!  Hop to it!"

*Nagato heads to the outhouse unaware that he's just been tricked*

Karinka: "Meh-heh-heh-heh.  That'll teach him to choose my top-heavy sister over me."

*Inside the old-fashioned outhouse, Kurumi squats over a rectangular hole in the floorboards, her white panties around her stocking-clad ankles, attempting to void her bowels*

"Once Kurumi cut down full-grown trees with her bare hands and tossed the logs around to build a house.  Now why can't Kurumi move this little log?"

*Closes her eyes, takes an exaggerated deep breath, balls her gloved hands up into fists, and bears down with all her might.  She makes cute squeaky grunting noises, her face turns completely red, and her bosom bounces up and down, but her exposed rump remains inert*

Kurumi: (out of breath) "Why is this battle so hard to win?  Stupid tummy!" (half-heartedly punches her abdomen between the golden buttons of her uniform) "You should obey Kurumi!"

*Just as Kurumi is giving it another go, Nagato opens the door, shows the ring, and rattles off a rehearsed speech*

Nagato: "Kurumi, please accept this gift as a token of my strong, undying love for you."

*Only then does Nagato take notice of the view in front of him: The dropped panties, the triangle of pink hair, and the red straining face.  His face turns red and his mouth is unable to form words*

Kurumi: "Master and Kurumi will finally be wed!  Kyuin!"

*A gleeful Kurumi hops up from her crouching position as the excitement causes her bowels let loose.  A large brown cudgel is forced out of her body.  It misses the hole and hits the floor with a thud*

*It's all too much for Nagato.  His eyes close and he starts to go limp.  Kurumi leaps forward to put her arms around him before he hits the ground.  She also catches the open box with the ring in it, which he's dropped, between her thighs.  On the other side of her thighs, a foot of thick brown rope drops out of her body, uncontrolled and unbroken.  It ends up hanging over the lip of the hole*

Kurumi: "Master?" (shakes him) "Master!  Why has master gone limp?  Should Kurumi get a doctor, or wipe first?"

[DrBones]

I've never seen this anime (I do know what the characters look like) but this made me LOL, especially the beginning.  That's some classic 90's anime romantic comedy style humor right there. ;D

Was it you Jimmy or someone else who made a challenge a wile ago involving whether Steel Angels poop?

I could be wrong, but this might be only the second time a real medieval style, wood-floored Japanese squat outhouse has been featured in something on this site.

P.S. I would love to see the end of that Sailor Moon story sometime.   It would be great if she ends up on the toilet wile actually transformed as Sailor Moon and someone walks in and recognizes her.

[Jimmy Olsen]

You should watch The Steel Angel Kurumi if you like romance or comedy animé.  It's is one of the all-time greats for both genres, in my opinion.  And yeah, I was the one who made the challenge, but I'm also possibly the only fan of Kurumi here, so yeah...

As far as Sailor Moon goes, I'm kinda cheating.  I sort of wrote myself into a corner with the story I started, so I'm starting fresh.  New story, same Senshi, same critically full bowels.  And I'll throw in a full bladder for free. 

[Plan B]

I may be a noob who doesn't know how to battle, but I ain't gonna let this thread die that easy.

YuYu Hakusho

Keiko was hurrying down the school hall to the bathroom to handle an emergency. The bathroom she came across only had room for one person. She wasted no time in lifting skirt and dropping her panties just before a wave of brown water emptied into the bowl.

"Pew...smells toxic." Keiko said, "but at least I made it."

She was reaching for toilet paper when suddenly the door came crashing in and Yusuke strode inside as though he were an agent doing a drug bust.

"Keiko...I've felt this way for a long time. But it's only just now that I worked up the courage watching you. Will you marry me?" He held up a jeweled ring.

'You were turned on by this?! Yusuke, that's perverted!" 

"Not any less perverted than being attracted to flesh balloons filled with milk on the chest." Yusuke shrugged.

He had a point. Keiko pondered this for a while, then said "I'll consider it. In the meantime..."

"Yeah?"

"GET OUT!!!"

[Jimmy Olsen]

"Not any less perverted than being attracted to flesh balloons filled with milk on the chest." Yusuke shrugged.

I find this amusing.    I've honestly never understood what was so great about breasts. 

[OrpheumZero]

"Not any less perverted than being attracted to flesh balloons filled with milk on the chest." Yusuke shrugged.

I find this amusing.    I've honestly never understood what was so great about breasts. 

Well it's a programed reaction that has changed over the course of our history. Most will say it's roots stem from the fact that we're breastfed as infants, and that some fraudian mumbo jumbo extends from that into sexual fascination.

Me? I'm an ass man! 

[Jimmy Olsen]

Me? I'm an ass man! 

For me, it's the eyes that really get my heart racing.  If a woman's got beautiful eyes and other cute facial features it barely matters what she's got going on below the neck.

[OrpheumZero]

Me? I'm an ass man! 

For me, it's the eyes that really get my heart racing.  If a woman's got beautiful eyes and other cute facial features it barely matters what she's got going on below the neck.

Hmm, I do dig cute eyes myself, though I never get a good enough look at them. Of course I'm also a sucker for a cute face as well, even the ones one would call a 'butterface'.

[Jimmy Olsen]

What's a butterface? 

[OrpheumZero]

What's a butterface? 

It's a phrase (a rather rude depending on your opinion) to describe a girl whose not ugly, but isn't exactly very pretty in the face department. It's supposed to be a lame pun, everything's good about her 'but-her-face'.

[DrBones]

Still love YuYu Hakusho, the anime and the manga.  My only complaint would be that it's too short.  The story almost feels rushed to me, like the artist could have done a lot more with those concepts... oh well.   It would be great to see something else with Keiko here, Yusuke even mentions what a great butt she has and the anime has a scene with her peeing outside in the bushes (not shown but implied.)

"I've honestly never understood what was so great about breasts."

I remember seeing a show on the evolution of sex or something when I was younger that mentioned this.  It said that human female breasts stay firm and round all the time, unlike apes, because we walk upright.  It's an attractive, round shape close to eye level, just like the rump would be to a monkey walking on all fours.  I always think of that when I see the first chapters of Dragon Ball where little Goku tells Bulma she has a butt on her chest, turns out he wasn't so far off! ;D 

[Jimmy Olsen]

I'm guessing it's cultural, rather than biological.  Otherwise breasts would make all men horny.

[Bacchus]

I've always thought it was because a big breast would be a sign of better genes or healthy bodies. I've also thought the seemingly obvious; that bigger breasts=more milk, but its not very relative.