Nyou Fiction Forums

Bumping to say I'm just about ready to update with the fifth chapter, but I'll have to read it over at least once more to be sure. It'll be up by tomorrow night (or at least it should). It's kind of fetish-lite, but at least the first seven pages of the next chapter (The Calm) should make up for it.

Squatting on/just over a bucket or other container. It's so out there and non-standard, and implies urgency, like they couldn't wait to get to an actual toilet.

Well, thanks a lot for the advice from everyone. It's very appreciated.

I think I have a good idea of where I'm going, but I've done something of a complete rewrite of "Fygul Cestemus" (CH 5) and some of the scenes based on it later so it might be a little while longer before it's out. I have to go over it again; although there are a bunch of specific things that have to happen before the end of the chapter (and they have) I just want to make sure it flows right.

Sorry, I'm not always conscious of using that stuff in normal conversation. It's easy shorthand, but obviously if no one knows what you're saying it's actively harmful to conveying ideas.

Basically what I said was that I was worried about not adhering to the characterization that I'd come up with for my characters. In particular, Maya seems on the edge of becoming unidentifiable since things go her way frequently. Also, lampshade hanging = fourth wall breaking, and playing straight = characters ignoring the cliche, at least in this specific example. It seems like you caught the gist of it though.

But the thing is, when you say "it's a silly story with wacky characters" it doesn't say "lighten up," it says "tighten up." I'm not going to lie, the prize for that competition was and is very tempting. I assume that was the point of having a prize: to get people to write stuff. I'd really like to win, as horrible as that sounds. But the main point of writing is for the enjoyment of the audience, so would you advise me to relax and just let go, or should I make it more sensible? Or are you saying "if you're going to go humorous, go humorous, but if not then try and rein it in"?

Oh man, now I'm going to have to start name-dropping or something. I hope my work speaks for itself and doesn't just get reflected glory from my old days on the Yahoo groups. Thanks for the encouragement from both of you, and maybe I can hunt some old stuff down and give it a rewrite...

Speaking of my work...I have a bit of a problem. I have a basic draft of what happens next, and a general idea of what should go on in Part III of Schizo, but 1: it kind of deviates from the fetish aspect (minor since that's rectified by chapter six, at the very least) and 2: I'm worried about character derailment. So far I feel I've staved off Mary-Sue characterization for Maya, mainly because I've not really gotten into what makes the characters tick. However, a certain event coming up causes conflict, and I'm worried that Maya's way of dealing with that and subsequent revelation will vault her into purple-eyed, friend-to-all-animals territory. I might just have Susanna hang a lampshade on it and then play it straight, though. We'll see when I'm done revising chapter five.

You also have my condolences and my thoughts will be with you and your family.

There's just so much booty, it's choking me out. It's a great picture.

Um...wow. Gah. I...can't...breathe...

Also known as "Uopdates" due to the number of times I accidentally hit "o" while trying to type out "updates." That was quite odd, I must say. This thread is here for two reasons:
1) to put updates up
2) to get feedback
2.5) to stop me from getting lazy/abandoning the projects

So...at the present time I only have one fiction work up, called "Schizophrenia" (defecation/farting/pantypoop). Chapters are linked (and I hope the links work):

Chapter 1: Red Mage
Chapter 2: Past Threats
Chapter 3: The Labyrinth
Chapter 4: Oblivion Rising
Chapter 5: Fygul Cestemus

As seen, "Fygul Cestemus" is up; upcoming chapter is "The Calm."

If I do any more stories, I'll edit this first post to add their links too. I'm probably not going to link my older stories here that I did under the name FatalDaemon...that would make my lack of writing evolution much too apparent, and plus I can't find them right now.

I used to use sounds, and now I use description. I think it makes more sense and it leaves the sounds in the reader's mind. On the other hand, going along with what Jimmy said, in comics and strips I don't mind having the onomatopoeia right there on the panels.

Wait, so there's a first, second and third place prize? And we should post our requests for each so that they'll be selected depending on which (if any) place we receive?

I guess for 3rd place, I'd want a picture of Hitomi from the DOA series in this outfit, hiding behind a sand dune on the beach as she has a bad case of the hershey squirts, with the volleyball next to her. 2nd place would be this girl right here, Julia Chang from the Tekken series, from behind, in that outfit, squatting outside and looking over her shoulder nervously as she pushes out a tough load. And 1st, I'm thinking a colored comic of Susanna and Viola (two of my OCs in Schizophrenia) going from eating some food Susanna cooked to Viola sitting over a largish, overflowing toilet bowl with Viola scowling at Susanna, who is staring off into space with a plunger in her hands. I'll PM you a description.

5. Nevan - Devil May Cry (3)
- Given that she's a demon, she probably has a weird metabolism so it'd be interesting to see what came out. A lot of DMC's demons seem to require sustenance.
4. Garnet MacLaine - Dragonaut: The Resonance
- All of the female characters in this anime could have been placed here, but she's definitely my favorite. All that expressiveness put into a situation like this...
3. Anna Williams - Tekken
- My original favorite VG female, and she seems to have a butt fixation anyway since she shakes it in combat.
2. Murrue Ramius - Gundam SEED
- She's probably a bit older (physically) than the rest of these ladies, even though technically speaking she's still pretty young. But her in her uniform, or the orange suit she first appears in...
1. Cassandra Alexandra - Soul Calibur
- Enough said.

Definitely 15 or 16 minutes late. If you want, if we do this by points or something, I'll take a 10% dock or something if that's the only way I wouldn't be disqualified. In any case, mine's up too.

Uh...yeah, btw, it's called "Schizophrenia" for a reason. If you get mood whiplash, I apologize.

See, the funny thing is that I did intend for expositioncakes abounding about Ms. Pac-Man's digestive system. Obviously there are characters who are going to look at this monster and say "WTF?!" so there needs to be some sort of reason or explanation. Of course, I'm kind of set in my dimensions, but I do give room for imagination in terms of just how much is going in...and coming out.

I'm actually making my own world for her, but the consequences of her gluttony are very real both in terms of "output" and the effect on anyone else who goes hungry thanks to her, thus making her something of an antagonist.