My official thread of.... things I do.

[Jimmy Olsen]

It wouldn't be the worst entry in one of these Story Contests, but I agree it's below your usual standard.  Which isn't to say it's bad, it's just a simple scene rather than a bona fide story.  If you fleshed it out, or inserted it into a larger story, it could be a force to be reckoned with.

[OrpheumZero]

Just posted a new story, this one based on Rave Master! It's a lot like the "Toilet Reapers" in that it's kinda like "What Happened during?" But this isn't my official entry for Contest XV. Though these two recent pieces have helped me get a good grasp on what I should do for my actual entry.  ;D

[OrpheumZero]

Hello? Is anyone gonna review it? I mean, I can see it's already gotten nearly a hundred reads, but I want to see what people think! Come on, show your love for the stories, people! Don't make me beg! *Slowly reaches for Desert Eagle stuffed behind belt*

[Zee_phyro]

*Walk slowly from the crowd, acting like nothing happened*

"Damn.... I shouldn't left it behind! Now look who has it!!! Stupid, stupid!"

*Pulls Dragoon Laser out of nowhere and readies Max Burst*

[Jimmy Olsen]

I'll read and review it soon.  I'm rather busy right now.

[OrpheumZero]

Just posted my Metal Gear Solid story for contest XV(A). And this has TWO, count 'em, TWO! chapters to start with! Please read and review. 

[Jimmy Olsen]

I have a couple suggestions for if you revise your Sniper Wolf story.  It would be nice if you had some descriptions dealing with the volume of urine she's excreting (since she's been holding it for days).  It would take minutes of continuous flow to get it all out, and she'd be pumping several liters into her bodysuit, which would probably make it feel something like a water balloon. 

Also, it would be neat (at least in terms of the possible spinoffs and sequels it'd open up) if you mention that she can keep her bowels shut tight so well that sometimes when the mission is over an enema is necessary to make them release their cargo.

It's a story with a lot of unexplored potential.  ;D

[livinginfinite]

The Sniper Wolf story was great. ;D I'd been looking forward to it for a couple of weeks and I wasn't disappointed.

You mentioned the possibility of including flashbacks to her training, and I think you should totally do that...sometimes I prefer it when past accidents are just referenced briefly, but I think in this case I'd like to know the details.

I'm also curious as to the kind of clean up that she normally does. Does she have a change of clothes handy or what? I can only imagine that she's quite experienced dealing with these kinds of situations...

Orpheum, this story has left me with more questions than I started off with. Tell me there's more coming

[Jimmy Olsen]

I'd also like to see her cleanup.  I forgot to mention that.

[Jimmy Olsen]

It looks like you've edited "Yuna's Close Call."  What else did you change?

[OrpheumZero]

Oh, that? I just unitalicized a passage, nothign major. It just bugs me when random parts show up in italics when I know I didn't specify it to.

[Duce]

yeah I think I'm going to see if I can add a check box in the edit chapter page, so it only marks the story as updated when checked.

[OrpheumZero]

That's a good idea. It would be annoying to see old stories getting bumped up just because someone is adjusting one or two words. An actual change *like my revised versions*, that's noteworthy for bumping up.

[OrpheumZero]

Just posted a new story, this time it features Samus from Metroid. I was kinda undecided between two versions of the story, so I posted both. They're not the greatest, but I think I did alright.

[Jimmy Olsen]

I recommend you play "Zero Mission," both for research and sheer enjoyability.  You can get it used for pretty cheap, and it only took me 7 hours to beat it the first time.