Indecent Proposals

[solomance]

As what I said on the Nyou2 board, (WyvernKon = me, I still dunno why I used a different name here) I added Indecent Proposals as a "Series" of stories here because that's the only thing that I thought could fit this category. (I wouldn't consider this as an actual Category or a Warning, but more of a Series so all the IPs can be put into one nice place.)

[OrpheumZero]

Odd, I'm pretty sure I added the thing there once, unless that was the old fiction site. Oh well.

As I said before, it's better to have it here on the forum since most people aren't probably gonna be interested in doing quick little paragraph things on the main story site. I think the forums would work a lot better simply because we can alway use emoticons for to really get an animated feel out of them (and maybe Duce or someone might be able to find/or make new ones that are more bathroom centric)


I'll start again, with my classic ones *Updated from what I can remember:


Inuyasha

*Midnight, Higurashi shrine household*

Kagome: It's so great to finally be home again. Warm bed, fresh water, and a working toilet! 

*She sits down on the toilet and begins to pee, a hissing sound echoing in the bowl*

Kagome:  Been holding it in forever it almost feels like! Ohhhh *Winces as a big log slides out*  

*Suddenly, the sound of footsteps outside the door*

Kagome: Huh? 

Voice: IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!

*The door explodes*

Kagome:  Inuyasha?!

Inuyasha: Kagome, I've finally decided. I love you, will you be my wife?

*Silence*

Kagome: 

Inuyasha: Kagome?

Kagome:  Inuyasha...... SIT BOY!

Inuyasha: 

Kagome: Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!....

Inuyasha:  .....

*When Kagome has finished, Inuyasha finds himself in china, somehow....*


Disgaea

*Etna is seated on the toilet, her face a matching red like her hair*

Etna: NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH   

PLOP goes a long fat turd of unimaginable size

Etna: Holy fucking christ that was a big one. Feels like I gave birth. Hmm?

*Her attention is diverted to the door which is kicked open, Laharl standing at the threshold*

Laharl: Etna, I have thought about this for a while. Will you marry me and rule beside me as my badass demon queen?

Etna: Hmmmmm,  let me think...... *Pulls out a bazooka and blasts Laharl*........ Still deciding......


Hellsing

*Integra slips quietly into the bathroom, looking around with a slightly displeased glare*

Integra: Good, looks like he isn't around.

*She undoes her slacks and sits down, a thick nobbly log squeezing through her toned cheeks*

Integra: *Clears her throat, trying to keep her mind off of what she's doing*

A voice: Master Integra.... *The familiar grin of Alucard appears through the door*

Integra: 

Alucard: Master, Integra Fairbrook Windgates Hellsing, will you be my bride?

Integra:  *Shoots Alucard in the head with her pistol, unloading the entire case in his skull*

Alucard: *Half of his face now remains, the rest a bloody mess*  I love you, Master!

Integra: Piss off! *Kicks him in the face, sending the vampire tumbling into the hall and flinging the door open*

Alucard: Master..... I can still see you!  ;D

Integra: *Flips him off and tosses out a grenade* Piss off, monster!

*EXPLOSION!*


I think that's a good start. I'll post more later.

[DrBones]

Great to see these starting to be recreated.  I hope we can at least get versions of all the originals back plus some new ones.  Funny to think that this whole thing started when that DA pic. of Bulma on the toilet I posted started a discussion about Dr. Slump. ;D

I know no one wants to hear this now, be I was one day away from saving that page.   I was at work thinking "I should save all the Indecent Proposals and print the page just in case." and when I got home the site was gone. 

I have to agree with Orpheum that it would be better to keep them on this forum page than upload a bunch of one paragraph files just because it's easier.  Hopefully Duce can sticky this so people can easily contribute when ever they want.

Wile I love the Inuyasa one and think it's right on (I always suspected that if Kagome got walked in on, she would set the world record for saying the word "sit" the most consecutive number of times) I honestly don't remember it.   Maybe it was in the last addition before the crash. 

Well... I'll try to remake the one I remember doing and come up with some more.  Orpheum, since you where the king of this before, could you put up a list of characters you want to redo so no one else steals them?  (Unless you want them to. )


TENCHI MUYO


*a quiet afternoon in the Masaki house*

Ayeka: Good, no one is here...

*cautiously slips into the upstairs bathroom before gathering up her dress and pulling down her pure white silk panties to sit on the toilet*

Ayeka: Ahhh... Finally. 

*a healthy stream of urine begins to fall from her as some quiet farts mix with several long soft logs falling with a slash as she fans her nose at the smell and blushes*

Ayeka: That won't do...

*reaches under the sink for some air freshener just as the door opens*

*Tenchi stands in the door in full armor and holding a ring*

Tenchi: Princess Ayeka, I've finally chosen!  Will you marry me and take me back to Jurai with you?

Ayeka: Tenchi! Of course I... 

*bushes deeper just as the door is torn off it's hinges and flies across the hall*

Ryoko: Oh God I'm gonna #%^ my pants!  Last time I try Washu's cooking! 

*flies in at a hundred miles an hour, one hand holding her stomach, the other holding her butt*

Ryoko: Outta the way princess!

*throws Ayeka off the toilet and rips off her red and black body suit, slamming herself down on the seat as a wave of diarrhea and wet farts explode into the bowl*

Ryoko: Made it!  That's so much better!

*notices Tenchi for the first time, still holding the ring in shock, and bushes in delight*

Ryoko: Oh, Tenchi... 

Ayeka: Why you... 

*gets up, shaking herself as she pulls her dress over her exposed and quit messy butt*

Ayeka: THAT is not for you pirate pig!

Ryoko: Wanna BET princess prissy piss?!

*jumps off the toilet and forms her laser sword as Ayeka summons her shield and begins to charge an energy bolt*

Tenchi: Help!

*dashes out of the bathroom as it explodes behind him, sill holding the ring*

Tenchi: Forget this, I'll go ask Sasami!


-I don't think anyone has done this one-


Ranma1/2


*Akane steps into the bathroom of the house attached to the Tendo Dojo, pulls up her skirt and lowers her bright blue panties before setting her tight bottom and muscular thighs on the toilet seat*

Akane: Stupid Ranma!  If he or any of his freak friends walk in on me now I'll...

*punches a hole in the tile wall before relaxing with her elbows on her thighs and her chin in her hands*

Akane: Real girls need privacy after all.

*begins to pee as a sizable log descends into the water with a few grunts and farts*

Akane: Phew.  I really needed to get that out.

*looks up as the door opens to reveal (male) Ranma holding a bouquet of flowers and looking dashing* 

Ranma: Akane, I realised your cute after all.  I'm ready to marry you right now and...

*trails off as a loud plunk and a long hissing fart echo in the toilet, Akane clenches her fist as veins begin to bulge on her forehead*

Akane: Ranma you... PREVERT! 

*jumps up and punches him it the face, sending him through the wall*

Ranma: I guess that's a "no" then?

*lands in the garden pond and comes up female, looking back at the hole in the house*

Ranma: What'd do that for?  Just cus I saw you taken a huge smelly dum... 

*gets hit on the head with a flying sink and slips into the water uncontentious, bubbles marking the spot where he lies*

[Jimmy Olsen]

Love Hina

*Naru shuts herself up in the bathroom after an emotional exchange with Keitaro*

Keitaro: "Narusegawa!"

Naru: "Don't talk to me."

Keitaro: "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.  It's just that...that...I...I..."

*Keitaro bursts through bathroom door dramatically*

Keitaro: "I love you, Narusegawa!  Will you marry me?!?"

*looks and sees that Naru is sitting on the toilet; hears a hissing sound*

Naru: "What did you think I was doing!?!"

*Naru lifts herself above the bowl with her hands to get her legs to the level where she can kick Keitaro, then plops herself back on the seat, all without interrupting her stream*

*Kick sends Keitaro flying 30 feet into the wall 8 feet behind him*

Keitaro: "What a contrived, unlikely situation!"

*Su-chan randomly appears with random mecha*

Su-chan: "I'll distract viewers from that fact with randomly-appearing mecha!"

[OrpheumZero]

Exactly what I thought. I'm hoping someone knows how to make emoticons, it'd be cute to have ones for like constipation *Smiley face turning redder and redder or something*, more embarrassed looking faces, and so on.



Here's a few more remakes, plus a new one:


ONE PIECE


*The sun shines hotly over the grandline, with silver clouds drifting lazily below it, giving off cool patches of shade. Onboard the Going Merry, Nami enters the bathroom*

Nami: Finally! I never thought I'd get the time to go. What with that idiot captain of ours trying to eat another endangered fish and-

*Keeps mumbling as she hikes up her skirt and pulls her panties down, sitting on the toilet*


Nami: Mmmmm, relief at last...


*Clears her throat as a steady stream of pee shoots out of her pussy, followed closely by a sizable log*


Nami: Nyyyyggh, I really should consider going more often.


*Continues for a while, but the silence and privacy is suddenly broken by a familiar call*

Voice: GUM GUM, PISTOL!

*The door explodes into a million splinters*

Nami:   What the hell?!

*In the now missing doorframe, Luffy stands proudly, holding a chunk of meat in his left hand and clasping his right*


Luffy: Oi, Nami! I realized that I really like you, will you marry me and be my Pirate Queen? It'll be awesome!

*He holds out his right hand and uncurls it, revealing a gorgeous ring*

Nami: Ooooh!   Check out that rock on tha- *Remembers where she is, and what she's doing and stand up* Luffy.... YOU PERVERT!!!  

*Luffy has no time to react as a right hook connects with his face and he is sent flying through the walls of the room and out of the ship, Nami catching the ring coyly as she sits back down. She catches sight of Zoro leaping into the ocean after their captain*

Nami: Idiot! What does he think he's-

*Is interrupted as Sanji, Ussop, and Chopper appear in the bathroom*

All three: Nami, what's wrong. We heard noise-

Chopper and Ussop:   AGGGGHHHHH!!!

Sanji:  

Nami:   GET OUT!!!

*View changes to outside the Going Merry, Sanji is seen flying out the opposite side of the hull, while two specks that are Chopper and Ussop run for their lives*

*Meanwhile, in Robin's room, the voluptuous young woman is seated on a pot, a large pile already filling it*

Robin: Hmmm, seem's like someone picked the room time to make a confession.  


End.

Naruto

*Sakura groans as she enters a public restroom, her stomach churning*

Sakura: Damn that Ino-pig! She spiked my drink. (CHA! Jokes on her! I spiked hers as well!)

*Hastily she pulls off her green pants and moves the rest of her outfit out of the way, sitting her butt on the toilet*

Sakura: Ooooh man.....

*Groans as several rancid farts blast forth, sending bits and chunks of logs, with a few thick ones mixed in*

Sakura:        

*Suddenly the stall door shakes and slowly opens*

Sakura:   O-oc-occupied!

*She stops dead when she sees Sasuke standing in front of her*

Sasuke: Sakura, it's taking so long... But I've realized that I really love you. Will you be my bride one day?

Sakura:   Sasuke...... I...I....Oh yes, yes I will! Sasuke I....  

*Nearly forgets what she is doing and leans to kiss the boy she idolizes, when a sudden expulsion of liquid shit fires from her very messy bottom*

Sasuke:   *Cough*

Sakura:   Sorry about that, maybe... you could've waited a few minutes   But I don't mind, at least it's you and no-  

*Just as she is about to finish, a puff of smoke flumes from Sasuka, and clears to reveal another boy instead*

Naruto: Phew.... Geez, that's really potent Sakura.  ;D But it's ok... I....

*The blonde haired knucklehead just realizes his cover is blown and that Sakura is glowing with power*

Sakura: Naruto.....

Naruto: I'm sorry Sakura,   it- it was just a joke I-

*Before he can fully apologize, a fist collides with his face, crushing into his skull almost, and sending him flying up and out of the bathroom*

Naruto:   Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! *Twinkle, as a star shines on the horizon where he vanishes*

Sakura: That idiot! *Her fist is still smoking for several seconds*


End.

Bleach

*Orihime enters the girl's restroom during the break before lunch*

Orihime:   I've got to go poopy so bad!

*She dances around as she dashes into the farthest stall and pulls her panties down*

Orihime: Much better.  ;D

*Begins to immediately flood the toilet with a torrent of pee, the pleasure causing her large breasts to rise and fall as she sighs with relief*

Orihime: Ohh, I think a biggie's on the way.  

*She winces as she equally shapely butt to spreads open to birth a large log. It's slowly descends to the water below*

Orihime: It's so big. Must have been that Rice ball I made with chicken and pork, garlic and BBQ sauce.  

*She puts a hand under her chin and waits. Several moments go by when a suddenly explosion rocks the room*

Orihime: Hmm? Did my poopy come out?

*She peers between her legs, seeing that her log is still wedged tightly in her butt. Then looks up as the door to the stall glows with several diagonal lines*

Orihime: Is someone there?

*The explodes into several small pieces and Ichigo stands within the open stall in his Shinigami form*

Orihime: Ichigo, what is it? Is there a hollow attack? (Totally oblivious to the fact she's pooping in front of him)

Ichigo: Orihime....   I love you, will you marry me?

Orihime: Oh Ichigo...(Begins to tap the tips of her index fingers together nervously) I almost thought you didn't like me. But Yes, I will marry you. Oh you've made me so happy!

*The scene wavers and we see Orihime had fallen asleep, the large log still crawling out of her bottom*

Tatsuki: Orihime? Are you in there?

Orihime: (Snore bubble)  ...But I think Chiro is such a cute name for a boy... 

*The large log finally plops out her with a huge thudding splash, waking the busty girl*

Orihime: H-h-huh? Oh, Tatsuki, is that you?  

Tatsuki: I wanted to check on you. Lunch is almost over. Who were you talking to?

Orihime: Yep, I'm perfectly fine. Just poopin' that's all!  ;D

*Another large splat comes from the toilet*

Tatsuki:   Ummm, ok I was just making sure you're alright. I'll go now.


End.


Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo

*Beauty looks around nervously as she holds her stomach*

Beauty: Ok, looks like the coast is clear.

*She pulls down her blue jeans and squats. Without any effort a gentle stream of pee splashes to the ground*

Beauty:   I just hope none of those idiots comes along...

*She then pushes and an inch thick log squeezes out of her. But her concentration is broken when the bushes in front of her rustle*

Beauty:   Who is it?

*Gasser then appears through the brush*

Beauty: Oh, it's you Gas-can. Don't scare me like that.  

Gasser: I'm sorry Beauty. But I wanted to let you know something....

Beauty: Yea?...  

Gasser: I love you. And I want to marry you.

Beauty:   Really? No kidding? This is even better than that pony I've been begging the producers for!

Gasser: Ahhh!  

Beauty: What is it Gas-can?

Gasser: You're poop! It's orange!

Beauty: WHAT?  

*She looks down, indeed, her poop has taken on a completely orange color*

Beauty: WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!  

*A familiar face appears on the emerging log*

Don Patch: All aboard the PooPoo Train!

*The Don Patch log falls to the ground with a thud and 'ouch', but another one immediately follows out*

Beauty: *Her face is one of complete horror and shock*

Gasser: *Ditto*

*The poop finishes and there is a pile of orange logs, with mini Don Patches dancing around them*

Don Patch minis: All hail the great Dookie Gods!

Jelly Jiggler: *Pops out nowhere* Need something to wipe with? Here. *Hold out his 'Nu' hankey*

Beauty:   It's covered in Jelly! That's disgusting!

Bobobo: Are you messing with Beauty, you fiend!!!

*The Bonnafide-botector of Hair leaps into the area and begins to rapidly punch Jelly Jiggler*

Jelly Jiggler: But I was just trying to be helpful!  

*Chunks of his Jelly body are knocked off as Bobobo punches them off. Which then land neatly on a clean looking table*

Don Patch: *With a falsetto voice, wearing a cooking outfit* First you take the Jelly piece, roll them in dough and add some olive oil!

Soften: *Dressed in maid's outfit* Then you put it in the oven for about 3 hours and-

Both: Voila! Jelly Doughnut!

Gasser and Beauty: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT!!!!!


End.

[OrpheumZero]

Come on people  , let's see some love for this thread! We must fill it like so many of us do a girl's panties in our stories!  ;D


Devil May Cry

It is late at night, darkness blankets the town, save only for the defiant neon lights of the inner city, and a little shop called the Devil May Cry. Lady hurries up the steps and enters the building, looking frantic.

Lady:  Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!


She enters and finds it empty, Dante is nowhere in sight.

Lady: Probably out getting another pizza  . I swear, he's never going to learn how to use money properly if he keeps dropping it on pizza and sundaes.

Her remark is short lived as a pain in her abdomen brings her back to reality, the petite, yet fit demon hunter rushes past the desk at the back of the room and through the door. Through a small hall, she finds the bathroom.

Lady: Good, he's not in their either.

Lady opens the door gleefully and locks it, then hurries over to the toilet, holding her butt with one hand.


Lady:  It's gonna come out any second!

She slips the purple spandex shorts down and undoes her skirt, letting both rest at her feet while letting the Kalina Ann and her guns rest on the counter near the toilet.  Sitting her well toned butt down hard on the seat, she breaths a sigh of relief.

Lady: Yes! That was close!

In mere seconds a stream of pee fires from her crotch, and a log of great size parts her cheeks.

Lady:  Nnnnyyyyyggggg!  Oooh man, it feels like I have gone for a week..... Oh yea that's right.

Lady grimaces and pushes out more thicks logs when suddenly the cocking of a gun causes her to freeze. The door is then shot multilple times, becoming riddled with numerous bullet holes.

Lady: What the hell?!

A booted foot kicks in the door, which crumbles from the damage done by the guns, and a familiar white haired man enters the room. Walking up close, he leans in so far his nose is touching Lady's, who blushes.

Dante: What's up babe? I've been thinkin' it over, how's about we get hitched? Just imagine how cute our kids would look.  ;D *<---- Cool grin*

Instead of a 'yes', the half-devil demon hunter gets a punch in the face, causing his sword to slip to the floor as he stumbles. Before he can respond, Lady uses both of her guns to blast the foolish wise cracker numerous times, his coat becoming tattered and blood spilling from the many holes before a kick to the groin and chest send him flying back into the hallway.

Dante: I take that as a 'no' then?

An answer in the form of his sword being chucked into his chest confirms his suspicions. Dante seemingly goes unconcious.

Lady:  Childish buffoon.

Dante  ..................... Hehehehe, you're so cute when you're mad!

A squel of anger echoes inside the bathroom before a rocket fired from the Kalina Ann blasts Dante, knocking him out for sure this time.

Lady: That's it. This is the last time I come here to take a shit.


End.

[OrpheumZero]

  How come this thread isn't getting flooded? That makes me angry!  *Tackles a mailbox viciously*

Oh well, I'll keep adding some of my own.


Evangelion


Asuka is seated on the toilet, looking flushed in the face. Inside the bowl a small chunk of a log floats on the surface, while the remaining beast is still stuck firmly in the Eva pilot's rump.

Asuka:  Uggghhh, dammit Misato and her cheap food. Owwww... my ass feels like I'm pulling a soda can out of it.

She then winces as she feels the stubborn log slide out of her painfully, beads of sweat drip down her face while she lets out several 'ahhhhs' of pain. Finally the log plops in the water as she hears the door click and open.

Asuka:  Hmmm?

Shinji: Ummm.... A-A-Asuka? 

Asuka:  Shinji?!? What the hell are you doing in here? Are you trying to watch me take a dump? You sick little creep, do you get off on tha-

Shinji: Wait, please.... I-I...I....

He holds out his hand, shankingly, and reveals a ring. The socially inept boy is beet red, as well as Asuka.

Asuka: Shinji?........

Shinji: Asuka... will you... will you m-m-marry me?...

Asuka:  ...................I..........

The girl sits stupified, shocked by the twist of events. Shinji could be a sweet guy at times, but something inside her made unable to resist tormenting him for this.

Asuka: Yes, Shinji. I will marry you.

Shinji: R-really? Wow I neve-

Asuka: But! You have to clean my ass, with your tongue. *Evil grin*

Shinji:   


End

[Jimmy Olsen]

Nobody do a Sailor Moon one, because I've got that covered!  Just wait a while...

[Jimmy Olsen]

La la la la la la SAILOR MOON!

This is an alternate version of the ring scene in Sailor Stars where Usagi doesn't skip school to see Mamoru off when he's flying to America, and instead they say their goodbyes the day before.  This scene might contradict the real anim? even more than I planned, since it's been so long since I watched it.

*Usagi runs home from school as fast as her disproportionately long legs can carry her*

Usagi thinking to herself in a sing-songy voice-over: "Pee!  Pee!  Pee!  Pee!  Gotta pee!  Gotta pee!  Hate peeing at school!  Hate not peeing at school!  'Cause then I gotta pee for longer!  Gotta walk home while I gotta pee!  Gotta pee at home!  Almost home!  Almost peeing!  Pee!  Pee!"

*At home she finds Mamoru waiting for her*

Mamoru: "Usagi!"

Usagi: "Mamo-chan!"

*Usagi's bladder had distracted her from her sadness over Mamoru's leaving, but now that starts to hurt her even more than the water pressure*

Mamoru: "I came to say goodbye.  I..."

Usagi: "I'll be waiting!"

*She pauses, her eyes beginning to glisten*

Usagi: "I'll be waiting for you."

*She tries not to cry, then remembers the other liquid trying to escape her body*

Usagi: "Will you excuse me a moment?  I have to...wash my hands."

Mamoru: "That's fine."

*Usagi scampers to the bathroom and shuts the door.  There's another internal voice-over as she turns on the water to corroborate her story and cover up her noise, drops her panties, and lifts her skirt*

Usagi's thoughts: "Gotta let it out little by little, so Mamo-chan won't hear it.  This'll be the slowest pee ever."

*Usagi sits down, and a slender yellow rivulet begins to drizzle from her womanly regions, hitting the water in the bowl with a soft tinkle.  Her mouth widens to a broad smile, and her eyes narrow to kawaii little slits.*

Usagi's thoughts: "Ah yes!  Peeing is good!"

*Mamoru stands outside the door and continues talking to Usagi without realizing she's having a private moment*

Mamoru: "For the time being, I will be so busy that I won't contact you very often."

*Usagi gets a little red from being spoken to by her boyfriend while trickling pee, but represses her embarrassment and responds*

Usagi: "That's all right...!  I'll write to you every day...!  So..."

Mamoru: "I wanted you to have something to let you remember me."

*As Mamoru says this he walks into the bathroom, to show Usagi a little box that's opened to reveal a ring with a heart-shaped stone, then freezes in shock when he sees Usagi sitting on the toilet with nothing on her lap to hide her private area*

*Usagi turns wide-eyed*

Usagi: "Oh, Mamo-chan!  Thank you!  I'll treasure it!"

*Usagi snaps out of her lovey-dovey trance*

Usagi, to herself, but out loud: "Wait a minute, I'm on the toilet!"

*Usagi turns red, freaks out, and covers her pubic area with handfuls of her absurdly long hair*

Usagi: "This is not a good time!"

*Mamoru quickly leaves, shutting the door behind him*

*Usagi talks to the door*

Usagi: "I love you Mamo-chan!  Just wait outside for a minute!"

*Since it's now obvious she's peeing, she ups her output to full blast, and a stream the same bright yellow as her hair shoots out at the porcelain wall beneath her with an intense hissing sound.  Twenty seconds go by without the stream diminishing one bit*

Usagi: "Maybe more than a minute!"

[OrpheumZero]

More... more.... this thread demands more!.....And some reactions to the older ones. Jimmy and Dr. Bones are really funny!


Full Metal Alchemist


Winry's cute bottom sways back and forth as she rushes into the bathroom at her house.

Winry: Oh man have I gotta pee!

She tugs off her jumpsuit and nearly tears her panties as well, sitting down, her rump squishes as it forms onto the seat. A stready stream of pee shoots out and trickles loudly inside the bowl.

Winry:  Yeeeeesssss...... I've been holding that in for hours, that new piece I made took me all night!

Speaking of piece, a lumpy log slid out of her and ploped into the bowl. It was quickly followed by a series of similiar logs of varying sizes.

Winry: Ooooooooohhhhh.......... Feels like all the exhaustion is just melting away.

Winry's little bliss is cut short when the bathroom door opens and Edward enteres the room, carrying a rose.

Ed: Winry, I know I can be immature and a little  *Struggles to say it* short tempered. But I've realized, I love you. Will you marry me?

All the while Winry's face had been a frozen picture of horror, then a dark glare washed over her.

Winry:  YOU LITTLE PERVERT!!!!   

She then threw her wrench with precission and it nailed the young alchemist square in the temple, a spurt of blood flying from both Ed's nose and the gash in his head as he fell to the floor unconscious.

Winry: What's wrong with him? Is he too short to see I'm taking a dump?

End


Tomb Raider

Lara closed the oaken door behind her and strolled to the beautifully crafted porcelain toilet. A decorative commode she had purchased for it's equally stunnning plumbing as well as it's design.

Lara: Feels like it's been ages since I last went for the loo.

She then wiggles her perfectly toned buttocks out of her form fitting shorts and sits down. A powerful stream of urines blasts from her labia with the force of a miniature fire hose.

Lara: Thank heavens.... I've been holding that in since I left from Bolivia.

Just as she mentions this, a large log, roughly 2 and a half inches in diameter begins to make her cheeks spread apart.

Lara:  ....And this from before I left. *Nyyyygggghhhh*

As lady Croft births the monstress log, the door creaks open slowly.

Zip: Lara... I've always found you to be one lovely woman. And well.... I was wondering if you'd marry m-

BANG

Zip feels a bead of sweat trailing down his face as the realization that a bullet had just missed his privates by an eigth of an inch. Lara stares coldly at the young man, one of her signature pistols trailing a whispy smoke in her left hand.

Lara: Must I remind you, we always knock in this household; Especially for the potty!

End


Avatar: The Last Airbender

Katara skulks around the little hut in Ba Sing Sa and then tiptoes into the bathroom. Quietly shutting the door, she sighs as she sits on the toilet.

Katara:  Thought I'd never have some time to go by myself. What with Aang and Toph nearly demolishing the place during a sparring match and Sokka chasing Momo all over the place barely left me any peace and quiet.

Despite the frustration, it did little to the impede the exiting log that escaped from the young waterbenders bowels. Muffled 'plishes' and 'plops' echoed in the bowl as she dropped log after log.

Katara: Ooooooh yea.... that's it.... ooooohhh.....

Knock knock

Katara:  Um... who is it? *Please don't be Toph*

Aang: Katara. Are you busy?

Katara:  Yea.. sorta... I-

Aang: I know this might not be the right time, but I wanted to tell you.

Katara: Really, it isn't the best ti-

Aang: I love you, Katara. A lot!

Katara:  Really?.....

This moment of hesitation leaves Katara totally subdued as the Avatar opens the door and enters, seemingly unaware of what Katara is doing.

Aang: It's taken me a long time, but I've finally gotten the courage to say it. I want to marry you, ever since I first laid eyes on you I- 

The only Airbender left to the known world finally realizes his error, having actually been partially asleep, and now stares hopefully towards a rather preturbed Katara.

Katara: Aang.... I said now's not the right time!!!

Her anger as always fueled her powers, not to mention the fact that the moon was full tonight, Aang hurriedly fled the bathroom as tendrils of water and sickles of ice chased after him.


End

[Jimmy Olsen]

Thanks, Orpheum. I'd like to do another, but I can't think of any other anime that this would work with.

[Nia]

someone should do one with Juri and Takato from Digimon Tamers lol.

[yarr]

Oh My Goddess

Belldandy wiggles her large butt on the toilet, settling down for some porcelain bombing. 

*frrrt*

"Oh!" 

*BRRTT!*
*plop*
*plop*
*PLUNK*

"Aahhh.." 

Muffled crackling emerges from the bowl as a large log follows the initial lumps. 

The giant slips soundlessly into the water, coiling on top of the potatoes deposited before it. Breaking off it is immediately followed by another similar one 

Belldandy farts and keeps pushing, not noticing the determined footsteps approaching the door. 

The unlocked door slams open, Keiichi standing broadlegged in the entrance.  He extends a hand towards her, holding a small cheap ring

"Belldandy! I cannot hold back my love for you any longer! Will you be my woman!?" 

"Oh Keiichi!"    Extending her hand towards his, the rosy scene is interrupted by a loud gurgle from Belldany's tummy. 

A massive wet fart explodes out of her chubby bum, blanketing the room and now also the hallway in stink 

Realizing what she is doing, Keiichi turns beet red. 
Before he can voice his apology, a torrent of mud leaves Belldandys curvy fecal factory 

"Oh! So much. Sorry!" 

The explusion suddenly intensifyes, now a hollow splatter as she has displaced the water in the bowl with her poop. 

His sensory organs overwhelmed by the smell, Keiichi sinks like a man of clay into a heap on the floor 

Belldandy gives off a few more toots before she starts wiping and steps over her would-be fiancee.

"Hopefully he asks me again when he wakes up" 
Looking into the throne she just before occupied, she blushes.
"The toilet is broken too! Not just Keiichi!" 

[OrpheumZero]

Why hasn't anyone contributed to this thing lately?  Why? 

I must correct this error!

Dragon Ball Z

Bulma is seen heading for the toilet, holding her jean clad butt, and wearing a red striped shirt.

Bulma: Ooooh, why do I always have these big dumps every time I go to that pervert old hermits house for his stupid parties? 

She unzips her pants and pulls down her panties, seating her creamy soft asscheeks on the toilet. A muffled fart can be heard.

Bulma: Oh man.... nyyygghhh 

Continues for some time, the occasional splash is heard every now and then. A very noxious odor fills the room.

Bulma:  Phew! That's rank, I really should watch what I eat.  Fans her nose.

Suddenly the door opens and she looks up to see Vegeta entering.

Bulma:  V-veg-Vegeta?!  What the hell are you doing?!

Vegeta: ..... Ignorant woman, how dare you raise your voice at me? I have come here with a... a proposition

Bulma:  A what?...

Vegeta: Pulls out a ring from his pocket on his pink shirt. Since you're an earthling I'll use words you can understand, do you want to get grumbles. Hitched?

Bulma:  Vegeta I don't know what to say....

But her colon does, as a loud volume of gas is expelled, covering the room in an invisible stench. The sound alone quiets both of them.

Vegeta: Uhhh, what are you doing woman? Sniffs. Wait, wha- Begins to gag.  Ahhh, my eyes, they're burning! What kind of power is this? It's not possible! Passes out.

Bulma:  Lightweight....

End.


Eureka 7

Renton is seen walking through a hall in the Gekostate, his face beet red.

Renton:  It's now or never.... No matter what's she's doing. No matter if she's busy, I must ask her! 

He then starts calling out Eureka's name, shouting aimlessly in the hopes of finding her.

Renton: Eureka? Euuuureka?!

Eureka: Renton?...

The boy turns as he hears his crushes reply, but doesn't see her.

Renton: Eureka? Where are you? I wanted to ask you something. 

Eureka: I'm in here. Come in.

Unfortunately, Renton stops short as he finally traces the origin of her voice, the bathroom.

Renton: Um... are you sure?

Eureka: Yes, why? Is something wrong? Sounding more confused, but her phrasing makes it appear she is upset.

Renton: No! It's fine, I just.. uh... I...

He swallows on nothing and enters the bathroom.

Eureka: In here! Renton! 

Renton turns around to see Eureka, seated on the toilet, a pair of sea blue panties at her ankles with her skirt hiked up. She smiles warmly, seemingly unphased.

Renton: 

Eureka: Renton?.... Is something wrong?... Your face is all red.

Renton: Snaps out of it. He then fumbles in his pocket as he speaks up.  Oh yea, I uh... how do I put this?... I....He pulls out a ring from his pocket and holds it up.

Renton: Eureka! I love you! Will you marry me! His face is now a tomato complection.

Eureka:  Oh... Renton! It's... wonderful! She continues to gasp, both from a the obvious distraction, but also from a log slowly leaving her.

Voice: WHAT THE HELL IS ALL OF THIS?! 

Renton and Eureka: 

The doors of the bathroom open and Holland is seen in the doorway, in only his boxers. He glares at Renton and then to Eureka. A vain pops up in his head as he settles back on the boy.

Holland: What are you doing to Eureka?! 

Behind the nearly naked man are the kids, who scowl.

Kids: What are you doing to our momma, pukey?

Renton: I... uh....  Oh crap!

Renton's screams and the shouts of Holland are heard throughout the rest of the ship. In a private washroom, Talho is seated on the pot, her skirt and panties pulled down.

Talho: What are those morons up to now?...

Gidget: Applying some eyeliner. I hope they're not beating eachother up again...

Hilda: Who knows. Can you hurry up Talho, I really have to go pee. Wiggles around.

The End.


Come on people, don't let this wonderful thread fall to the wayside! It must be nurtured! It must be given tons of attention! It must filled with delicious little nuggets of random sillyness! It must be- *Head explodes*

[DrBones]

Thanks for reviving this Orpheum.  I think I have one or two more ideas I could put up next weekend.  If we really want to continue these though, we're going to have to start using other characters from the series already up here or more obscure universes as most of the best known ones have been done, (I'm literally looking at my manga/DVD collection next to my desk for ideas.) 

I seem to remember an Excel Saga one among the originals if you want to recreate that, or I could (but I really know the manga better than the anime.)

Love what you did with the DBZ short, especially that first line.  So whatever Roshi is slipping into her food not only makes her dumps huge and messy, but gives her incredible gas that smells like week-old death.  (Hmm... wonder if he would sell me some...  ;D )  Not only was it a Bulma pic. that originally started this whole thing, but she and Vegeta are the only actual married couple in this thread so far.  Maybe I could try one with Krillin and 18.

Now that I think about it, it may have been a good thing that the old thread page was lost...

*rifle bullet whistles past head* 

Weight!  Let me explain! 

That thread was very slow when it died, now we have more stories than ever on here and better versions of the classics.  It sucks more than most things I can think of that we keep losing these sites, but as long as they come back bigger and better every time we can keep the community alive.