Nkay7's project thread

[nkay7]

Hahahahahah

Anyway, it's fine if you don't want to look at my stuff due to subject matter, although I have some stories without pantypoop (Hermione's Plan, Bathroom Turnabout, Method Acting, and Lute's New Hobby). Don't worry about my ego - I can handle honest criticism, because I'm confident in my ability to improve based on feedback. If somebody raises a legitimate complaint with my writing, it's not the end of the world. You just gotta work with it.

Your criticism is so well thought out and in depth that is seems a shame to waste this opportunity just because of a little squeamishness. If you said everything was perfect, how would that help me as a writer anyway? Take a gander at my stuff if you so desire, but if not that's fine too.

Not to mention, most of that stuff is over a year old anyway, and I'd like to think that I've improved since the time of its writing. That doesn't mean that a critique wouldn't be helpful, though.

To get slightly back on topic, I'd love to see a story of the sort you described, and I'd surely return the favor to the best of my abilities if you wanted feedback on it.

...Yeah, this turned out to be anything but an update thread...
Well Toasty, I'm happy that you value my input enough to actually ask for it: but before moving any further, I have a feeling I should establish my credentials and go through with my own story project. If it comes out right, and if I apply my ideas right, I'd have an easier time explaining certain things down the road, too. Besides, no one respects big heads who can talk the talk but can't walk the walk.

That said, for now I can point out a few general things about your work if you want. Now that you mention those titles, I do recognize your stories! I remember reading all of those you named, as a matter of fact. Probably the one that struck me the most was the Method Acting one, and that was a looong way back. If you hadn't mentionned it just now, I think I might have remembered it as a Jimmy fic instead, since it just sounds more like something he'd do. I do apologize for my mistake.

So, on the top of my head...Method Acting is interesting, in more ways than one. There's the story, there's the "scene"...yet what pops out to me is the framework. It makes me realize this is like one the few stories on this site with enough structure to actually incorporate a punchline of sorts. The nyou material is also integrated into the fabric of the plot, so it never feels out of place either. It's a self-contained piece, and I'm surprised I haven't seen more of these (again, except out of Jimmy).

Now, I'm aware there are writers out there who push for free-form writing, as traditional formatting (AKA, setup, buildup, conflict, resolution) sometimes just doesn't cut it in brisker-paced narratives. And in a media like ours that's specifically designed to titillate, it's because no one cares about the shirtless milkman & lonely housewife setup anymore the moment the funky porn riff kicks in. This does create an interesting distinction: on one side, you'd have the usual short stories that are really just a linear string of pornographic depictions slapped back-to-back. And on the other, sometimes you find short stories like this one, that actually bother building up plot elements for the explicit purpose of knocking them down in the end and make a point (or a joke): there are no residual leftovers here, no wasted ideas, no indulgence in arbitrary content.

"Less is more," yes?
Method Acting follows a classical farce format: it introduces absurd situations, blunders and misunderstandings over the course of the story, and ultimately untangles the conflict with a happy and comical resolution. I'm not going to say that this is the most brilliant example of such a story, but just by the virtue of having plot elements work towards the planned ending like this already makes the work a bit more layered than the usual stuff. Contrast with the Harry Potter fic, which also contain some elements of this (ridiculous means to a ridiculous end, played straight), with the Fire Emblem and Phoenix Wright ones, which don't (raw pornaaaaaaage!!!).

All I can say is that it's one of those subtle things that you either gun for, or you don't. Most untrained writers would just approach their stories like serials, throwing out as many open threads as possible, so that any of these could be revisited or retconned at a later date (if their story even lasted that long!). One-shots on the other hand aren't designed to address things like character development or expansion of the canon: you could say it's the purest manifestation of a concept or an idea committed to story form, with the overlying theme acting as the cohesive agent that makes the whole greater than the sum of its parts. It's a more modest and elegant solution...and unfortunately also an underappreciated one, which is a shame.

Long story short: the setup has purpose or it doesn't. But I've said too much already.
Again for standard nyou fiction, most pretenses at being something more just stop mattering after the pow chikawow wow, symphony of blowing butt chunks and all that jazz.




Okay, phew! Back on topic now.
Actually, just discussing this stuff out loud has made me seriously reconsider what I had been planning towards my own story. After a few trials and errors, I've come up with this.

Sometimes ago, I suggested a stylistic contest, instead of the usual "thematic" one. The idea was received about as well as you might imagine, which is just a polite way of saying that no one gave half a fuck. Looking back, I guess it's one of those things that had no chance of working unless I first showed I was myself willing to do it, and so I'll do that now.

I'll kick off with a story written entirely in Noir style. The objectives of the project will be multi-fold:
1) Demonstrate that there are alternative methods to exposition through stylistic choice of narrative pace and tone
2) Demonstrate the strength of a self-contained piece by providing a setup which gets addressed and ultimately deconstructed
3) To incorporate Nyou content incidentally rather than as the focus, allowing for the seamless existence of plot
4) To experiment and just have fun with it.

So, it'd be porn with plot...and the challenge would be to adjust how much porn, and how much plot. I'll probably stick with a male hero protagonist just to nod to the genre, so descriptions would be less intimate and more voyeuristic...although in a gritty style like Noir, I'm not sure how to incorporate nyou voyeurism without having it take undertones of sexual harrassment/rape, too. It could still manage to be funny, but more in a cynical way. I'm still not up to that part in the actual writing, so anyone's got a few suggestions they'd be willing to part with?

[Jimmy Olsen]

Then of course I also have my big animated series that I've been planning since I was about 9-10, though I can never agree with myself on how certain details (like how everything begins, though I do have a rough idea of the end...).

This sounds intriguing.  What is the premise?

[OrpheumZero]

This sounds intriguing.  What is the premise?

Hehehe, I'm always a little weary of revealing the idea online because of the fear that someone could steal it, but I guess it's nothing to be really concerned about.

Originally, the series started out a simple "play time" thing I had with some toys, except I had created quite  a bit of backstory to each "character" (originally being McDonald Beast War toys), something most kids probably rarely did when just playing around pretend (at least more so than "This guy is a super warrior!"). Anyway, as I started to roll the idea of a series around, I incorporated elements of Dragon Ball Z, at the time being a very big fan, making it very action heavy. Granted, I was quick to make each character fight uniquely so it wasn't DBZ's "Everyone's a clone with the same move set".

The premise, so far at least, is that an alien prince from a world of shape-shifters (possibly the first sentient race to gain higher intelligence) comes to earth to conquer it. Four brothers, animals that have been transformed into human-like being (ala Ninja Turtles, only with a different origin and not ninjas) join forces with other alien princes, both of whom are rock-people. Together, the six face take on the villainous prince, Morpheus. The story would take place over the course of 15 years, and goes from simply battling Morpheus, to battling the dark empire he's a part of in far off galaxies. I've already got a general idea of how it would end, though I'm always caught between trying to make it somewhat realistic (meaning nothing gets too Gainax-y, but at the same time allow for the usual soft sci-fi elements like super powers and the like).

Then of course there is the fact that I want the series to last a long time, actually hoping that it could run for several years and almost realistically play out over the 15 year timeline rather than jumping and skipping periods every x amount of episodes. Luckily, I do have plenty of characters, and had even settled on trying to make focus be more on anyone, rather than picking one central protagonist. One thing I also want to achieve, is the idea that evil can win at times as well. Meaning that bad guys may get away with their plots at times, and even kill others, as the series is basically about an ever escalating war that has gone on for eons. Without spoiling what happens exactly, I'm even tempted to end the series with the villains winning, something that believe would set the series apart from others.

[BlueSniper]

ETA - thanks for the awesome fortune  I think you've pretty much summed me up perfectly.

Sometimes ago, I suggested a stylistic contest, instead of the usual "thematic" one. The idea was received about as well as you might imagine, which is just a polite way of saying that no one gave half a fuck. Looking back, I guess it's one of those things that had no chance of working unless I first showed I was myself willing to do it, and so I'll do that now.

I'll kick off with a story written entirely in Noir style. The objectives of the project will be multi-fold:
1) Demonstrate that there are alternative methods to exposition through stylistic choice of narrative pace and tone
2) Demonstrate the strength of a self-contained piece by providing a setup which gets addressed and ultimately deconstructed
3) To incorporate Nyou content incidentally rather than as the focus, allowing for the seamless existence of plot
4) To experiment and just have fun with it.

So, it'd be porn with plot...and the challenge would be to adjust how much porn, and how much plot. I'll probably stick with a male hero protagonist just to nod to the genre, so descriptions would be less intimate and more voyeuristic...although in a gritty style like Noir, I'm not sure how to incorporate nyou voyeurism without having it take undertones of sexual harrassment/rape, too. It could still manage to be funny, but more in a cynical way. I'm still not up to that part in the actual writing, so anyone's got a few suggestions they'd be willing to part with?

Hmm. That's certainly tough. I have to say that part of the reason why you may not have gotten much of a response is because writing outside of one's comfort zone is hard. I can say immediately that if someone asked me to write a noir piece that I'd have no idea where to begin, unless it was a parody of noir, or a combination of noir and something else, like a pair of detectives who are also vampire hunters.

Uh, so I guess that's my contribution? A pair of (presumably male) detectives who are also vampire hunters, trying to find a vamp in the city who's stalking a young lady. The vamp may be either gender. And...go.

[Toasty]

nkay, if your story is half as entertaining as your posts, I can't wait to read it. Every time I write something now I'm going to imagine myself as a mad scientist flipping a huge, rusty lever labeled "PORN" while lightning crashes outside, screaming "Raw pornaaaaaaaaage!"

Anyway, excellent criticism, even if it's probably nicer than I deserve. Normally I don't put a ton of effort into the plots of my stories for this site, and using established fictional properties acts as sort of a "shortcut" so I don't have to do as much legwork with the setup. Significantly, Method Acting is the only story I've ever written for Nyou Fiction that had original characters. If you really think it's that much better than the others, perhaps I'll try it again sometime. It was pretty fun to write.

As for your own story, wouldn't the voyeurism be less rapey if it was unintentional? What if instead of a femme fatale, the female lead is an ingenue who witnessed a mob killing or possesses some kind of key/locket/briefcase/gemstone/MacGuffin which puts her in danger, and the male lead has to (begrudgingly) protect her, possibly at the behest of a dead friend/partner or just for money. Any story in which the hero can't leave a woman's side has all kinds of opportunities for nyou occurrences. Maybe a hitman breaks in while she's in the bathroom, and the protagonist gets in a fist fight in front of her on the toilet. Or you could leverage the old "handcuffed together" gag. It seems to me like this setup would be less creepy than the protagonist just spying on women in the bathroom

[Jimmy Olsen]

Orpheum: That story could go interesting places.

Toasty: I like the idea of a detective who has to be close to the girl constantly.  Reading your post gave me an idea.  Suppose the bad guys use magic to do their dirty work?  Like they can use it to assassinate people, make themselves immune to bullets, and so forth.  Only for some reason there are some people whose auras dampen magic.  So there's this cute chick who doesn't know what's going on who becomes the target of the bad guys because she screws up their magic just by being there.  And our hero wants to figure out what the bad guys' overall mission is, and to protect her from harm.  He can put up a decent fight against the bad guys so long as their magic is blocked, so he tries to stay within a couple feet of the girl at all times.  She's not very happy about this, especially when she has to bathe or use the toilet.

[OrpheumZero]

Orpheum: That story could go interesting places.

I'd imagine so, seeing as how it would start out fairly light hearted, like Harry Potter, and become gradually darker in that same way. Going from simple Good vs. Evil to a sweeping epic about the terrors of war, love and loss, and just being possibly the most hardcore animated adventure series.

[Jimmy Olsen]

I was kind of expecting your Saturday morning cartoon to have more about nyou stuff.

[OrpheumZero]

As if that could ever be pulled on a children's show 

Now an anime-esqe show, where the audience is more mature... maybe.

[nkay7]

@Orpheum

Hehehe, I'm always a little weary of revealing the idea online because of the fear that someone could steal it, but I guess it's nothing to be really concerned about.

Originally, the series started out a simple "play time" thing I had with some toys, except I had created quite  a bit of backstory to each "character" (originally being McDonald Beast War toys), something most kids probably rarely did when just playing around pretend (at least more so than "This guy is a super warrior!"). Anyway, as I started to roll the idea of a series around, I incorporated elements of Dragon Ball Z, at the time being a very big fan, making it very action heavy. Granted, I was quick to make each character fight uniquely so it wasn't DBZ's "Everyone's a clone with the same move set".

I didn't ask because I figured you were reluctant to reveal more, but it's nice to see you're quite open about this. I think we were all guilty of this when we were younger!

You mentioned Gainax (by which I assume you refer to Evangelion), but are you a japanese tv show aficionado per any chance? Your idea has a fantastically retro feel, and while I'm not sure how things work for American cartoons, it brings up to my mind elements of Devilman and Shōwa-era Kamen Rider. Those are considered pretty camp nowadays, but they were a bit more hardcore than what you'd see on this side of the Pacific. Devilman (and in fact, a lot of Go Nagai's work) ended with everyone on both sides of the war dying, and the hero carrying away the severed head of his love interest before getting himself finished off by Satan or something. And this was a manga for kids, so it's something that just wasn't done...


@Bluesniper

Uh, so I guess that's my contribution? A pair of (presumably male) detectives who are also vampire hunters, trying to find a vamp in the city who's stalking a young lady. The vamp may be either gender. And...go.

...You'd be surprised with how close you are to what I started with...I didn't have vampires, but there are eerie similarities.
At the moment, the plot I managed to conjure has to do with an idealistic detective and his mentor (a grizzled old cop) investigating a bordello, but running afoul the owner of the place, an abusive pimp who's also a capo for the local mob. The plot then starts revolving around the girls that are kept under control by their cocaine addiction, and how the detective becomes obsessed with doing the right thing for once: even if this means getting in trouble with the mob, and even if the girls themselves are too stoned to show any gratitude. It's...about as depressing and down-to-earth as it sounds.
Oh, and coke is known to cause constipation...so yeah~, pretty weak link to nyou content as it is right now, but that's what I have.

2 detectives, a powerful antagonist with sexual offender undertones, and a damsel in distress...hmm. Makes me wonder if there's a cliché here I'm not aware of.

Hmm. That's certainly tough. I have to say that part of the reason why you may not have gotten much of a response is because writing outside of one's comfort zone is hard.

Oh, yes~. But the point of making contests is to pick out the best of the crop, and that's something done by pushing participants out of their comfort zone to see how they fare under different conditions. Being hard is the core of any challenge: staying hard while doing it is just a bonus (and no, I will not apologize for that horrible pun). But...oh well. I do understand that Duce has to play it the way he does because the number of entries is low enough as it is.

Parodies are fine! Again, I don't think parodies really get the respect they deserve. Sure, it's not the highest brow kind of writing, but people tend to underestimate how compelling it can be when channeled as postmodern commentary. You've got the usual shallow parodies, that don't really understand their material (think Meet the Spartans) : and then you've got the good ones, which lampoon the more absurd aspects of the original source or juxtaposes it with contemporary bathos (like the Naked Gun series). The Noir genre has never seen vampires: they're more associated with horror, the gothic and (very unfortunately) metrosexual heartthrobs. But there are gritty elements to vampires that would have meshed well regardless into a Noir setting, so it would've been a surreal and unique approach.

Sort of in a "Who are we kidding, with all the bullshit we already have going on we might as well have vampires" kind of way.

Purposely pitching a premise that checks every item on the cliché list, and yet is so bad, so politically incorrect that there's no way in hell it'd ever get serialized...it's food for thought.


@Toasty

Anyway, excellent criticism, even if it's probably nicer than I deserve. Normally I don't put a ton of effort into the plots of my stories for this site, and using established fictional properties acts as sort of a "shortcut" so I don't have to do as much legwork with the setup. Significantly, Method Acting is the only story I've ever written for Nyou Fiction that had original characters. If you really think it's that much better than the others, perhaps I'll try it again sometime. It was pretty fun to write.

Hey, I'm not saying that "raw pornage" is bad per se! There are great stories that take that approach: rather than that, my qualm is mostly with half-hearted fanfiction that attempts to be semi-serious and ends up coming through as lukewarm. It's when there's a lack of direction: if you're gonna go the porn way, at least write it with no compromise. To my fellow perverts I say, be proud damn it!

And, well, original content just has less canon chaining down the creative process (it also doubles as fewer excuses to be lazy with the writing).

As for your own story, wouldn't the voyeurism be less rapey if it was unintentional? What if instead of a femme fatale, the female lead is an ingenue who witnessed a mob killing or possesses some kind of key/locket/briefcase/gemstone/MacGuffin which puts her in danger, and the male lead has to (begrudgingly) protect her, possibly at the behest of a dead friend/partner or just for money. Any story in which the hero can't leave a woman's side has all kinds of opportunities for nyou occurrences. Maybe a hitman breaks in while she's in the bathroom, and the protagonist gets in a fist fight in front of her on the toilet. Or you could leverage the old "handcuffed together" gag. It seems to me like this setup would be less creepy than the protagonist just spying on women
in the bathroom

It's a good point, but there's a lot of typical "anime" approaches that would look really out of place in a more sleazy and mature environment as Noir. Take for example the idea of making it intentional or not: a hardboiled character type is more likely to be a cad or an asexual than a good mama's boy. Femme fatales also offer another approach, as they could have become so used to being perceived as sexual objects that they now simply act nonchalant rather than ashamed. The MacGuffin approach didn't cross my mind though, and you're right, there's a bunch of ways to exploit that: plot twists, red herrings, not to mention driving home the fact that the characters need to be more pragmatic with their "accommodations". Hmmm...a bathroom fight could definitely be used though. Finally, the handcuff approach is just so damn...kinky, I don't know if that'd work wonders or just make the entire thing too contrived. That's also part of the reason why I don't personally like the protector/bodyguard device too much: too heavyhanded, too gimmicky...maybe even overdone, since the RE4 fics that have been floating on the site?

Thanks for the suggestions, Toasty.

[OrpheumZero]

@Orpheum

I'd think you know if I'm into anime if you'd read my stories..... dork.  Also, Gainax did do other series, like Fooly Cooly and Panty & Stocking.

But anyway, yea, the series I had in mind would channel things like Mighty Max, Pirate of Dark Water, early Gundam and the like, in that it wouldn't be kiddified Good and Evil, even though there are designated "Good" and "Evil" characters. The overall goal is to make a series not unlike Avatar that can be both appealing to children and adult, even though the latter half of the series would require being a bit more mature to appreciate the themes more greatly. It probably would be fairly contreversial, seeing as how one character's name (at least the moment) is White Devil, and shares a similar backstory to Anubis from ronin warriors, in that he's a formerly evil minion who was being brainwashed into being evil.

And of course, death would be quite abundant in the series, much like One Piece, except with plenty of present day deaths instead of keeping it strictly to "past" events. (Though I am very well aware of that series' little "Surprise" recently).

[Jimmy Olsen]

By the way, I'd like to thank Nkay7 for saying such nice things about my stories. 

If only the editors of fiction magazines had such a high opinion of my writing.

[nkay7]

@Jimmy Olsen

By the way, I'd like to thank Nkay7 for saying such nice things about my stories. 

If only the editors of fiction magazines had such a high opinion of my writing.

Well Jimmy, in your case it might not be a question of writing ability, and more about just finding the right material to apply it to. And I know that's not saying much, because that's the hardest part.
You mentionned dealing with editors: do you also have plans to professionally have work of fiction published?


Quick update:
Story is 40% done, but no one cares about my pet project.
I know there are some people who'd like me to make more drawings, and it's only fair I give a heads up on my current situation so as to not create false hope. I don't have free time right now. In fact, I've barely had time to sleep.

Things have been pretty crazy for me since Irene, with helping out the Red Cross in the relief efforts, and all the contigencies firing off at work. That's calmed down a bit, but it turns out I'm also getting assigned to a fast-lane project, and I'll be moving out to a new place for a while. Long story short, I don't even know myself when I'll get another break.

I'm one of those types that always have to be doing something, but even I have my limits!

My priorities are set in stone, but I'll return to finish what I've started once the dust settles.

[Jimmy Olsen]

@Jimmy Olsen

By the way, I'd like to thank Nkay7 for saying such nice things about my stories. 

If only the editors of fiction magazines had such a high opinion of my writing.

Well Jimmy, in your case it might not be a question of writing ability, and more about just finding the right material to apply it to. And I know that's not saying much, because that's the hardest part.
You mentionned dealing with editors: do you also have plans to professionally have work of fiction published?

I've submitted short stories to magazines and contests, but none have been published.  Not stuff about bedwetting schoolgirls or toilet goddesses, but stories that are in the same vein as what I see getting published.