This is amazing!!! Great job keep up the good work
Author's Response: Thank you for the positive review.
Reviews For Rinoa's Night to Remember
Date: Dec 07, 2016 05:34 pm [Report This]
Not bad! As Orpheum and Mynd pointed out, it was a bit short and there were some areas that I think could've been expanded on.
I feel like you could've done a whole scene with her stripping on the stairwell. It could've been interesting to see what she was thinking when she decided she just couldn't bear being in her messy clothes any more.
I also felt like the whole ending with the stalker came out of nowhere.
That being said, there was also a lot to like. I thought the way you described her desperation was very good. And, while a bit on the short side, the actual release was also really good.
All in all, I enjoyed this. I hope you write some more in the future.
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. I am glad you liked the story. I do plan to make edits or extensions in the future, and yes. I will be writing a lot more stories.
I feel like you could've done a whole scene with her stripping on the stairwell. It could've been interesting to see what she was thinking when she decided she just couldn't bear being in her messy clothes any more.
I also felt like the whole ending with the stalker came out of nowhere.
That being said, there was also a lot to like. I thought the way you described her desperation was very good. And, while a bit on the short side, the actual release was also really good.
All in all, I enjoyed this. I hope you write some more in the future.
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. I am glad you liked the story. I do plan to make edits or extensions in the future, and yes. I will be writing a lot more stories.
Date: Dec 03, 2016 09:29 pm [Report This]
I agree with the points made above, there could be more explained about both dump, and maybe even some setup for the stalker who captures her. Perhaps he's the one that set up the obstacles. Is he just obsessed? Someone working with the people who want to stop Rinoa's actions? There's quite a bit that could be done to flesh out the story.
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. Your points are valid. I will work on making it better. This material is new to me, but I will keep at it.
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. Your points are valid. I will work on making it better. This material is new to me, but I will keep at it.
Date: Dec 02, 2016 10:42 pm [Report This]
It's alright. You should make an effort to write a little more. I'm not asking for a novel but under a thousand words is short. I think you should've gone into a little more detail about the diarrhea scene but otherwise, not bad!
Author's Response: I appreciate the feedback. I will consider adding chapters or editing what I have written to flesh out the story. To be honest, I did kind of rush it.
Author's Response: I appreciate the feedback. I will consider adding chapters or editing what I have written to flesh out the story. To be honest, I did kind of rush it.
Date: Dec 02, 2016 04:35 pm [Report This]