Title: Chapter 1
Reviewer: yoshion7 Signed
Sweet it was cool too bad for Yuna she ate too many bar pretzals and got the shlits
I'm not much into panty-pooping scenes, especially ones with no real plots surrounding them, but this is good for what it is. I like how you contrasted 3 different attitudes as well as 3 different stool consistencies. You make good use of each girl. Your description of Yuna's dump is particularly strong. I really felt sorry for her. I was kind of disappointed Rikku didn't get any repercussions for her naughty trick, though. It also would have been nice if the ending had included something about Paine being inwardly proud of winning, even though her words are less enthusiastic.
Like many fics from many authors, there are lots of spelling errors and poorly-structured sentences. One sentence totally baffles. "Luckily, the flow ceased before her sex got to messy." Huh?
The bottom line is, this is a good panty-poop scene. It just needs a bit of polish. But don't put off posting your ghost story to revise this one! ^_~
Title: Chapter 1
Reviewer: EFROdian Signed
Ah, what a fine read! You sure have a way with the Gullwings (especially, Yuna) don't you. I could just imagine this as a "bonus minigame" in the game (boy, if that was the case, I'd go out and buy a PS2 and this game, ASAP!)/ As always, excellent work. And now, if you don't mind, I'd very much like to read the story in it's original version with Ino, Sakura, and Hinata. *cough* Wouldn't it be weird if Hinata of all people won? *cough* ...just a thought. Keep up the good work!
That was pretty entertaining ^_^ normal pooping and diarrhea in one fic, awesome.
I liked Yuna's turn the most with the descriptions, and i like the fact that Paine didn't wear the usual fitted panties that's so common in pics and fics *thumbs up*
Very nice. I can see this pretty much follows up on my little story. Actually makes me think about doing another re-re-edit to accomodate the little details you had in this. Since you say Yuna was already messing herself, I could take the accident story from the trilogy and revise it to fit your part. Then maybe me or you could whip up a tale to cover Brother and Shinra's little voyeur session.
Overall a great story. You should have Yuna find about Rikku's trick and maybe get some revenge. Oh, and a sequel to this would be fine too! ^__^
Title: Chapter 1
Reviewer: cncncn Signed
great story! i hope rikku gets what's coming to her.
