Love the story keep up the great work,
Author's Response: Thank you, I appreciate the comment.
Reviews For Castle Fear
Date: May 02, 2012 12:30 am [Report This]
excellent story any plans to have rebecca soil herself from fear in one of the chapters?? i'd love to see that
Author's Response: That was not planned :( however she may come back in a future chapter but She may be not return as I'll be taking the story in a different direction plot wise (lol plot) Will be doing sort of a collaberative story with HwChem.
Author's Response: That was not planned :( however she may come back in a future chapter but She may be not return as I'll be taking the story in a different direction plot wise (lol plot) Will be doing sort of a collaberative story with HwChem.
Date: Mar 15, 2012 06:50 pm [Report This]
This was very, very good. The plot was interesting, and the action scenes were extremely well done. I enjoyed it very much, and I'm eager to see if you come up with something for a chapter three.
I hate to be a grammar critic, I'm hardly qualified for it, but the lack of punctuation did seem to break the flow a few times. And the Queen acts a little... un-Queenly at times. I wouldn't imagine royality dropping the F-Bomb.
Other than those small complaints, I really enjoyed this. Your work is great, please keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you, the action sequence was really what stalled me from putting it up. It took a while to write.
I hate to be a grammar critic, I'm hardly qualified for it, but the lack of punctuation did seem to break the flow a few times. And the Queen acts a little... un-Queenly at times. I wouldn't imagine royality dropping the F-Bomb.
Other than those small complaints, I really enjoyed this. Your work is great, please keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you, the action sequence was really what stalled me from putting it up. It took a while to write.
Date: Jan 15, 2012 08:59 pm [Report This]
I really enjoy the story you tell here. The way you tell it could be better. There are so many run-on sentences, with nary a comma in sight. Things are also a little rushed. I'm used to a slower pace with a little more descriptions and "atmosphere."
But the bottom line is, this is a strong fic.
Author's Response: Thanks, yeah I have to say grammar isn't really my strong suit. I really do tend to abuse the run-on sentences.
But the bottom line is, this is a strong fic.
Author's Response: Thanks, yeah I have to say grammar isn't really my strong suit. I really do tend to abuse the run-on sentences.
Date: Dec 26, 2011 02:51 am [Report This]
I thought it was very good! The concept was interesting, and you did a good job of taking Kiako through the stages of being tough to being scared enough to soil herself.
There were a few grammar errors, though I hardly have the right to nitpick those. For example, when a new speaker starts speaking you should break it with a paragraph.
The messing itself was quite short, but in my opinion very well done. It was believable, I was convinced that Kiako was frightened enough to actually load her pants. Excellent job.
The peeing scene itself was also pretty good, though it felt like it came on rather suddenly. I think maybe you could have slowly built her desperation from the beginning of the story, then have it come to a head when you did, rather than having her get hit with such a powerful urge so suddenly.
Overall, I really liked the story. I'd be interested to read anything else you might do. Very good work!
Author's Response: the peeing scene really did come on almost as an after thought and it was indeed very rushed.
There were a few grammar errors, though I hardly have the right to nitpick those. For example, when a new speaker starts speaking you should break it with a paragraph.
The messing itself was quite short, but in my opinion very well done. It was believable, I was convinced that Kiako was frightened enough to actually load her pants. Excellent job.
The peeing scene itself was also pretty good, though it felt like it came on rather suddenly. I think maybe you could have slowly built her desperation from the beginning of the story, then have it come to a head when you did, rather than having her get hit with such a powerful urge so suddenly.
Overall, I really liked the story. I'd be interested to read anything else you might do. Very good work!
Author's Response: the peeing scene really did come on almost as an after thought and it was indeed very rushed.
Date: Nov 27, 2011 01:48 am [Report This]
I'm so glad you wrote this, you really made my day! Obviously you know exactly what I like to see. :)
Author's Response: Because it's exactly what I like to see :X
Author's Response: Because it's exactly what I like to see :X
Date: Nov 26, 2011 03:56 am [Report This]
Interesting. Seemed like maybe some build up to the final freight could have been made, but it was still nice to see a fear messing, as there aren't terribly many.
Author's Response: Yeah there could have been more build up but I wanted to bring it on fairly quick as it was supposed to be more of a jump scare adding to the tension she already felt. I'll try to amplify the tension next time. Thanks, you're an awesome writer.
Author's Response: Yeah there could have been more build up but I wanted to bring it on fairly quick as it was supposed to be more of a jump scare adding to the tension she already felt. I'll try to amplify the tension next time. Thanks, you're an awesome writer.
Date: Nov 25, 2011 03:38 pm [Report This]