I love this story it's one of my favs I love all of the characters the plots and the desperations =)

Not bad, FallenStar tells me this is "ver yold" (his words, not mine) and I try to take that into consideration while reviewing.

The sex scene at the beginning is good and the description of the ruined city isn't bad either.

Everything seems to happen very quickly. A host of characters are introduced without any backstory and very little introduction. Why is Suki bleeding? She mentions fighting. What was she fighting and why?

I know you both have come a long way since this one, I just thought I'd point out that without the prior knowledge of the story that I have, I would have been totally lost.

That being said, based on this chapter it seems to have a more coherent plot than either DKC and the RP I am involved in with FS. Things are happening, if very quickly, and I like that.

Also: Thank you for not including the name tags. They really hurt the story's realism :).

Oh my god, it took a half of eternity to read, and yet I want MORE, because the latest update left me wondering about what happens next again. I love dramatic story arcs that show that sometimes fighting against a common enemy, no matter how strong it is, is easier than enjoying peaceful life together.

Indeed... it's through reading these fics that I get idea's and isperation for me and fallen current fic series... but it's also how I got started with doing it, a good series, a little rough around the edges and such, speically at the grammar errors and spelling mistakes. But still a very good read... your looking at the biggest fan of the series! lol I'm putting in a word that people read this and the other 2 series that came before it. I'm doing this not cause I was told but because I WANT to do it ;)

Eh, I was never big on reviewing unless there was something I don't like. But I guess it's nice just to let people know you're interested