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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: asfe Anonymous
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Date: Nov 28, 2015 01:50 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Rolex replica watches Anonymous
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Date: Dec 08, 2014 09:03 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: HaloAnime Signed
Finish this awesome and fuuny story! WE DEMAND A SEQUEL!
Date: Jan 03, 2011 10:12 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: EFROdian Signed
A very good portion of a story, that I assume is to be continued, correct?  I'm eager to see Yumi enjoy this kind of thing more (though I wonder how Ulrich will take it... or will it be Sissi who finally figures out their secret, and then word gets out, so naturally the Aelita and Yumi have to punish Sissi and... well... I'm getting ahead of myself).  Oh, I was wondering for a while now, but since XANA can control people, does that mean he can also control their bodily functions (it's be a good way to slow the team down; no Aelita means no deactivated tower, and no Yumi means the loss of a very skilled Lyoko warrior).  Anyway, just some suggestions.  More please!

Author's Response: Those are quite good suggestions, I especially like the Sissi one ^_^ rnrnBut I would need to watch a lot more of the show to see what her character is like, I\'ve only seen a handful of episodes. rnWhen saw random Lyoko episodes, I thought Sissi was Yumi\'s sister, boy was I wrong >.<
Date: Oct 26, 2007 04:36 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
I was happy to see one of my challenges made into a fic, and I enjoyed the result.

My big fear was that you would have 1 or both of the girls would get "overstimulated." I was happy to find it 100% sex-free. I was also happy about Yumi's reaction. She enjoys it and realizes she was too quick to condemn it as wrong, but she doesn't enjoy it immensely. It seems like most stories at Nyou Fiction about deliberate diaper or panty-pooping have the girl think it's the greatest feeling in the world. This story provided a good departure from that trend which is becoming a cliché.

I was afraid the tummy-rubbing was going to turn into something yuri, but you make it come across as a gentle, friendly gesture. But my favorite part isn't the pooping. It's the conversation where Aelita admits she's wearing diapers. It's funny and reveals both their characters well. You also depict Jeremie's embarrassment well. I can just imagine what's going in in his head. I mean, how do you talk to a girl about her diapers? Awkwardness city. ^_^'

It's also nice how the opening scene continues directly from the last Code Lyoko fic. The cooled-down feces is a nice touch, indicating the passage of time and showing how diaper-pooping isn't all pleasant, even for someone who loves it. If Aelita's not careful she'll end up with diaper rash. ^_~

I was disappointed that Yumi didn't pee as well as poop in her diaper. Not only do I like descriptions of wetting more than messing, but it seems to me that logically she would try peeing 1st, since it's less messy and "wrong." It would have been great (from my P.O.V.) if Yumi had had to pee and poop but only agreed to pee in her diaper, until she saw how much Aelita enjoyed pooping in hers. Then Yumi would have tried to add some mess to her wetness but been unable to at first, and from there it would go the way it did in your story.

The pooping seems too brief. It would have been better if Yumi had described to Aelita what the experience felt like to her, and what she liked about it. There doesn't seem to be enough of the kind of friendly dialog that I think would accompany a buddy diaper-dump.

Also, like many stories here, the tense changes. It's mostly in present tense, but sometimes it's in past tense.

But even with these weaknesses this is a very entertaining story, and my favorite that you've written. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading ^_^, I took the fact that it was a challenge from you, (not liking sexual stuff between minors) into consideration, so no sex or arousal stated in this one ^_^ I actually planned on having peeing in the fic, but for some reason it didn\'t make it into the fic. >.<
Date: Oct 24, 2007 10:01 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Cool, nice to see another CL fic. Didn't notice the challenge (guess I looked it over while checking the others out). The pooping scenes were nice, though I think it could've been a tad longer, but still great nonetheless.

 

Now for the nitpicking! (People gasps and leap from windows):

*You do know that Aelita is a student at Kadic, right? She's enrolled right when season 2 starts and remains so from there on. So she has a dorm at the school.

*Yumi is a 'day-student'; she attends classes at the Acedemy, but still lives at her own house. She has no dorm in the school at all.

*SPOILER: *Don't read if you wish to watch the first 2 seasons*

Aelita is a human, just like the others. Franz Hopper, her father, virtualized themselves 10 years before the series started, where they were attacked by XANA. It (XANA) imprisoned Franz somewhere in the super computer and stole Aelita's human memories, thus linking her to the Super Computer (Which is why she would die if the machine were deactivated before severing that link). Throughout season 1 and early half of 2, she and the group are under the belief she's an advanced A.I program, but after her arrival on earth, she has weird dreams and visions. Soon she is found to be human and the gang attempts to retrieve her memories to fully restore her, but XANA kills her after stealing the rest of her memories (which contain the data needed for It to escape the Super Computer.) But her father who has resurfaced resurrects her by seemingly sacrificing himself and restoring her memories and completely making her human again.

 

I think my geek-out destroyed a planet or two :P (The Jedis are gonna be pissed, or at least upset...)



Author's Response: Thanks for reading, I was pretty sure Aelita had her own room at the dorm, but I didn\'t know about Yumi >_< I haven\'t really watched much of the series
Date: Oct 23, 2007 11:05 pm [Report This]
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