Reviews For The Popular Girl
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Title: Chapter EX 41 - The (New) Popular Girl Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
Not a bad end. I can only wonder what would happen if this were to continue, but I can bet you're dying to move onto something new and different.

Author's Response:

I actually have an idea of a possible Alma Plotline if I was ever to continue the series.

I don't really have any plans for anything new though 

Date: Oct 26, 2009 09:44 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter EX 8 Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
This is a nice little desperation/wetting story, although I don't know much about the surrounding plot. I read about half of the next chapter too because I was curious about how things turned out, but I stopped reading after the sapphic stuff got heavy.

This story does something not many wetting stories do. Sakura wets her panties bit by bit as she runs to a toilet. Usually characters wet all at once, or mostly at once, giving up and letting loose after having leaked too much. That gradual wetting was a nice departure from the norm, although it seems unlikely that she'd be able to get dry enough that people wouldn't notice that she'd had an accident. I also like the idea of Sakura risking wetting herself in order to be a good student.

You describe her desperation and wetting well. Here's my favorite part: "It was taking everything she had to avoid slamming her hands against her crotch and squirming on the spot in front of everyone when Lila released her hand. Instead, she settled for fiddling with her fingers in front of her crotch and an up and down bouncing of her right foot as Lila spoke to the teacher..." Sakura's forlorn gazes back to the bathroom as they walk to the homeroom are also a funny and cute detail. Another random act of cuteness is the scene at the beginning where Reni is being all girlish and Jillian is being unenthused (but why is a boy named "Jillian?").

The only thing that really bothers me about this chapter is the shifting tenses. I find that very distracting and I don't understand why it's so common in so many people's writing.

In short, you're very good at writing cute and compelling fiction with desperation and wetting. I would love to read more of this sort of thing by you if you would leave out the sexual things.

Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked this chapter. and don't worry, the EX series doesn't have much of a 'plot'

And as mentioned in the chapter you read, Sakura was notorious for being constantly late to class on Earth, so it only made sence that she'd want to start her first day in a new school on a new planet on the right foot, but her bladder had other things to say. Concidering Sakura's likes watersports though, it surprises me that there arn't many fics with her peeing.

About Jillian's name, It just sounded interesting to me and it sounded like it could be a boy's name IMO.

and unfortunatly, while I have done wetting fics without sexualizing the characters, Sex is one of the main reasons and things I like to do in fiction.

Date: Feb 21, 2009 02:40 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 20 - Epilogue Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Nice ending, definately an interesting end to a long story, I can only hope my and Yarr's Sakura series will have a cool ending (even if it is pretty silly XP)

Maybe in a little while you could do a one-off '10 years later' bit where she makes a return to see her friends.



Author's Response:

heh, I look forward to the Sakura stories ^_^

lol about the '10 years later' thing, the chances of me doing that is pretty slim, but I still don't want to say good-bye to this series ^_^ I may do what I did with my 'Just a Shell'  series, do EX, or 'extra' chapters after the story is over. Afterall, with Sakura now having a sister and a solid relationship with Lila, I'm sure i could come up with stuff to right about ^_^ 

Date: Sep 21, 2008 12:07 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 19 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
Interesting, it's gonna be a very epic ending I presume.

Author's Response: Lol, I don't know if 'epic' would be the correct word, but it'll be a good ending ^_^
Date: Sep 19, 2008 11:06 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Meh, it was ok. Though not much into the rape scene. But hey, it's your story after all (:P).

Can't wait to see more.

Date: Sep 14, 2008 12:48 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
Nice chapter, though I'm not much for the straight up hentai stuff, it's still nice.
Date: Sep 14, 2008 12:15 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
Another nice chapter, I can see things are kinda heading for a conclusion, though I can guess it's still a ways off.
Date: Aug 24, 2008 09:58 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Another good one, as usual. I can see it's turning into quite the yuri series, with the egg bits coming and going *much like a doujin with occasional scat parts.*

Is there an ending in sight? Or will this just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on......(?)



Author's Response:

I'm glad you like it

and yes, this series WILL have an ending, I've even already thought of the ending.

The end is actually close, I hope for one more 'filler' chapter before the 'story' continues to its end, I predict, 3-4 more chapters in this series

Date: Aug 09, 2008 07:56 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Nice, a quick little romp as I can see.

 

By the way, have you thought about entering the contest? I would hope so, it's kinda dull with just me and Poowrite at the moment :P



Author's Response:

And another to follow in the next chapter when I get started on it ^_^

About the contest, I concidered it, but I have trouble thinking of the victim to use

Date: Aug 06, 2008 01:13 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Damn, seem to the story is turning into one of those softcore/kinda hardcore hentais.

 

Still a great chapter. Keep it up.



Author's Response:

Yeah, I think the 'slice of life' angle is the best way to go.

Before I even began the fic, I intended to show at the end, Sara's friend that first found out her secret (to lazy to look up her name ^_^;) had a video proove of Ginger as an alien and giving the video to her dad to show one of his government friends, which would lead to people coming to Ginger's and Sara houses, and I'm sure you can guess how that would play out.

I really didn't want the series to play out that way, it didn't start the way, so it's not going to end that way.

Anyway, thx for reading ^_^

Date: Jun 19, 2008 03:22 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Poor sara... shouldn't have done that to her friend....

 

Oh well, next chapter!

Date: Jun 03, 2008 11:28 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Hmmm, seems like the egg laying is taking a back seat for the 'loli sex', eh?

 

Stil a nice chapter, onto the next! *Rides away on horseback*

Date: Jun 03, 2008 11:22 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Tripy.... really really really tripy.

 

*Is suddenly dressed in tye-dye shirt* Whoa man.

Date: Jun 03, 2008 11:12 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Heh, gonna be an interesting bunch of twist and turns when the other hybrids come along I can gather.

 

Keep it coming.

Date: Jun 03, 2008 11:09 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Interesting twist, though I would say it's not quite working for me. But still a nice way to explain the random egg laying then 'oh she just lays, because...' you see in some stories.

Keep up the great work.

Date: Jun 03, 2008 10:59 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: N Signed
Well, I'm not looking for a story with twists and turns... Well, except for the pr0n, I'd like to see you venture to some other areas there. Its getting a bit dry, same old honey thing. Maybe a bit about defecation in there? I can see how it would fit. Alien Shits XD

What I'm really looking to get out of this is an interesting and somewhat arousing story that has a clear plot and a sense of finality when I finish. That's all, and I know how hard that is to pull off. You're doing a great job so far! Keep it up!

Author's Response: I've actually been considering adding more than just egg-laying and the usual yuri sex
Date: May 29, 2008 10:55 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: N Signed
As I mentioned before, I really am enjoying this. I'm reading for the story, not for the erotica, I'm barely getting hard anymore. What I think needs to happen is some sort of antagonist or issue... Like, maybe someone walks in on them in the locker room, or maybe someone figures something out... I don't know, but something to build suspense!

That'd be awesome, because these scenes are starting to feel quite similar now. I do want to know how it turns out!

Author's Response:

I'm glad your enjoying the series ^_^

I actually considered an antagonistic character, Sara's friend, Lalia, was supposed to be that person. At the last minute though, I changed it.

In terms of pr0n and story, pr0n takes obvious priority in this series, so if your looking for some awesome, mindblowing story with twists and turns, this ain't it lol, The biggiest twist has already passed.

Date: May 29, 2008 05:07 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: N Signed
You know, I'm starting to like this story, not because its erotic, but because I always love good sci-fi, especially with a slightly "special" twist. I'm definitely looking forward to hearing the rest of this story! :D

Keep it up!
Date: May 27, 2008 04:27 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Another nice chapter. Though it did seems a little wobbly in the whole acceptance of the other characters, it wasn't too bad. Also I think the whole downside to her condition just seemed a little out of place. I mean, was it simply to summarize what may happen to her later on, or is it supposed to alude to a later plot developement? I'm just wondering because saying she'll die from her condition felt a little tacked on, but that's just my opinion of it.

Anyway, how much more is there to the story? Wil there a lot more or just a few quick misadventures before it wraps up?



Author's Response:

I admit the acceptance of others was a little skechy, but I originally had planned for that, and about the death downside, remimber, it was as far as the doctors knew.

The 7th chapter, which I working on, has a huge twist, the last 6 chapters was just a prologue, the real story starts with the 7th chapter.

How long this series will be is still up in the air right now, I'm hoping the story doesn't get to far away from me, causing me to write myself in the wall.

I have more plans for this series, their wil be a happy ending though ^_^ 

Date: May 20, 2008 12:37 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Nice, can't wait to see more.

I will say though, I think the end kinda felt a little rushed. Not really really rushed, but just kinda feels like there could have been more to egg laying and maybe a little quip from someone in her class as the scene 'fades'.

Overall, another great chapter.... NOW GET ONTO THE NEXT!!! *Holds up Poowrite's secret hypno device*

Date: May 18, 2008 04:11 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Another great chapter. It's a shame there aren't many egg laying stories around, especially with Digimon! I mean, for a series that involves creature turning into eggs after death , you'd think there'd be dozens of egg laying fics with Sora, Rika and Zoe.

Personally I'd like to see something with Yoshino from Savers, think you could whip something up? :D



Author's Response: I'm not very knoweledgable about Digimon, sorry
Date: Mar 27, 2008 12:24 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

D'oh. Forgot to review this chapter.

Good, as usual. Nice to see another egg laying story.

Date: Mar 27, 2008 12:05 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Nice, it'll be interesting to see what happens next. Keep up the fantastic work.

Date: Mar 23, 2008 03:45 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
Pretty good. Though I usually try to read on more mature girls, the age thing doesn't seem too bad here. And still, a nice creative little story, far as I know there aren't alot of egg laying stories yet.
Date: Mar 17, 2008 02:48 am [Report This]
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