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Title: Ver. 3 Reviewer: konaburrito Signed

The story does give me the same mysteries BB had: What the hell kind of game was that? Nevertheless, you gave it very 'graphic' detail. I could actually picture myself in BB's position, peering slyly around the corner of the shower curtain. Another improving detail is your use of "Statement" paragraphs, which made it alot easier to read and stay consentrated on the story line. I am impressed that you included each girl's accents (Like Starfire's sentence structure resembling a robot). HOWEVER: One thing dissapoints me. You failed to conclude the story revealing what happened to BB. Did he crawl out of the tub? Is he still in the tub? and I began to wonder when/if Bumblebee turned back to human form before being pleasured by BB. You stated that she entered the shower, surprising Beast Boy, in her Bee form. I may be missing something, but I did not read anything about her returning to size. If I missed/overanalyzed any details I apologize.

P.S. This story pitched the tent in my pants. 

Date: Jan 06, 2012 09:36 pm [Report This]
Title: Ver. 3 Reviewer: HaloAnime Signed
FINISH THIS STORY, ITS VERY, VERY GOOD AND AWESOME! BUT, WHO'S THE MYSTERY GIRL?
Date: Dec 29, 2010 05:29 pm [Report This]
Title: Ver. 3 Reviewer: Paytonzane Signed
okay, im clueless, whos the blonde-haired girl?

Author's Response: WonderGirl
Date: Dec 08, 2009 10:03 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Mr Punch Signed
I liked it! More please!
Date: Nov 13, 2009 03:25 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: BobBee Signed
I like this story, cute idea, but watch your spelling. Thank you.
Date: Jul 31, 2009 10:04 am [Report This]
Title: Ver. 3 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Nice! Great additional scenes.... but I want MORE!!!!

Just kidding, that's enough I guess. :P

I liked the 'punishment' bit at the end, almost reminds me of that palcomix pic with Blackfire and Jinx wearing shirts stating who spanked them.

 

Hopefully we'll get another Teen Titans story eventually, I might try to do my own once I can think of a good plot.



Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked it, considering ver. 3 strayed away from the actual challenge

thier were two instances in this fic that reminded me of two different things, one is Starfire's comment about the game being one she played back home,  kind of a refrance to Poowrite's Teen titan fic. and the spanking obviously came from Palcomix ^_^

Can you guess who the sixth girl was though?

Date: Jun 25, 2008 02:44 am [Report This]
Title: ver. 2 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

MOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEE!!!! *Crazed look*

 

Need another chapter, must see who get's spanked. Plus see Bumblebee push out a nice load from her booty!

 

Great chapter, but there must be more! *Turns into the Hulk and leaps away into distance*



Author's Response:

I'm glad you like it so much ^_^

dunno about an actual chapter two though...

but i won't say it's impossible ^_^

Date: Jun 23, 2008 12:27 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Awesome...... just awesome.

 

Though certainly a heck of a lot different from what I would have imagined. Heck, I had this vision someone was gonna have him spy on Raven, Starfire and Terra, then somehow fit Jinx into the mix. But not a bad idea with the contest aspect, kinda reminds me of Poowrite's short story with Starfire's 'ritual'.

Hopefully you can do a follow-up chapter that'll wrap up the rest of this. I'd like to see who 'wins' ;)

Date: Jun 21, 2008 01:01 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Poowrite Signed
Heh, it was funny. You did a real good job with Raven and Star's personalities and dialogue.

It was a bit short, and I was kinda disappointed Jinx and Terra didn't get a turn. But good job nonetheless :).

Author's Response:

Thx I'm glad you like it

I do admit it sucks that i couldn't get to Jinx and Terra and it kind bothers me since I had intended to include them, but the way the Star and Raven scene played out, I couldn't do it, since the fic is suposed to be told from Beast Boy's prospective. knocked out Beast Boy = no fic >.> plus theirs the hint at the end of the fic that Beast Boy changes back into his original form, thus interuptting the girl's game.

Although, if the absance of Terra and Jinx bothers me enough, i may do a 'ver.2' where Star and Raven's scene play out slightly different to allow Terra and Jinx's turn.

Date: Jun 20, 2008 10:03 pm [Report This]
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