It's better, but still has some errors here and there, but is quite better than the initial version. Personally I don't care much for the lesbian aspect, but hey that's your forte, not mine :D
It does make for a nice 'what if' follow up to what Poowrite and mine's Yuna & Rikku stories, but I think this can be a non-canon fic.
Write more though, this is getting good!
I'm glad you like this version better.
the only thing I borrowed from you guys fics are that Yuna, Rikku and Paine participate in pooping contests, though Yuffie could be joining them ^_^
Lol, is this going to turn into that Teen Titan's fic again? ^_^
In conclusion, I thought it was a fun story, that maybe could have used a little polish but is fine the way it is.
PS. Write a sequel with more Selphie!
I'm glad you liked it.
I'm currently edititng the fic and fixing the grammer errors, I'll replace the posted version later today
I am concidering a sequal, somthing involving the game Blitzball and pooping, dunno how I'd include Yuffie and Selfie in it though, concidering they wouldn't have the lung strength
Not bad, but unfortunately it doesn't seemed quite as polished as your other stories. Not only is it odd that two girl from two unrelated FF titles are there, the fact that Yuna and Rikku act as though they know them well enough is proof of poor plotting. Also, I think the whole lesbianism with Y/R is a bit overplayed, it's not bad, but you see it so often it's kinda lost it's appeal.
Then you have the numerous spelling/grammatical errors, and I mean they're really glaring in this one.
But enough criticism, it's a still a nice one-shot and 'non-canon' little story. Good for a quick fix when you need something to read, but it could use a lot of improvement. Sorry, but I just had to be honest about it, don't take it the wrong way.
Thx for your review, this is more of a 'fun' fic, it doesn't take itself seriously, which is why the crossover.
poor Plotting? theirs no real plot in this fi.