Author's Response: Funny you should mention it, I happen to be doing just that! You should see a sequel in the near future.
I'm just lucky I have Micro's old pic. of Fran on a bucket so I can picture what a Viera actually looks like as I never played the game.
I love the idea of a girl actually passing out and falling off the toilet, totally spent, from exhaustion and relief after a huge dump.
I have to agree with Poowrite and Jimmy though that I would rather have had more details of Fran finishing on the outhouse than Penelo messing.
I agree with Jimmy, however. Penelo's bowel movement felt tacked on and unnecessary. I wanted to "watch" Fran until she was completely empty :D. Still, a minor setback.
Great work, that's all I have to say about that :D.
The massive dump is handled well. It reminds me of "Waste Management" by Anime Lover, but also outdoes it, both in mass and descriptive quality. The scene with Fran's load being mistaken for a creature is funny, and the thing about Penelo petting Fran's ears to relax her is a nice touch (although when I first read it I was afraid it was leading into some lesbian action).
I was a little disappointed that there was no mention of Fran having a sore bottom afterwards. Surely a bowel movement like this would cause some damage, both from how wide it stretched her opening and from the cumulative effect of so much friction. Also, Penelo's dump seems tacked-on. I feel like you either should have done more with it, or just left it out. Penelo can have her dumping spotlight in another fic. But these minor complaints are all I can think of that's negative about this story (besides what I posted on the forum thread earlier). This stands among the best dumping stories on the site.
All that being said, I think I still enjoy "The Ingredient" more. It just really hit its mark, and it's hard for any Fran story to surpass it in my mind, no matter how much she dumps.
*If you've seen One Piece, and Luffy's most 'awed' expression... that's exactly the one I have*
AWESOOOOOOOMMMME!!!! This not only kicked "The Ingredient" 's ass, it blew out of the water too!
You have got to do more of these "Fran & Penelo" stories. May I even suggest a story about how our lovely Penelo got into pantypooping? ;) Maybe even try to drag Ashe into this somehow... One idea I thought of for you, have Penelo attempt to do a huge poop. The solution to her human limits? A potion: A Viera stamina potion; one sip allows it's user to temporarily have Viera level strength, skill, etc. To put it simply, Penelo figures a way to do this and get in a pretty shocking amount of food. I think it could work, I mean, for a series where people can summon giant flaming rocks, carry swords 5x their size like a feather, I don't think anyone would object to a girl using a potion to save up a giant poop load.
Not much to criticize here, while I might have missed some spelling errors, I didn't see any in particular. The story was well paced, nothing too out of character, it's perfect.
Fuck two thumbs up, this deserves a standing ovation!