I see you took some ideas from the comments in creating the new ending. I like this ending better. It dose add more interest and makes the end feel less abrupt.
I can see how some people could see this ending as even more of a missed opportunity than the original. The scene seems perfectly set for the other sailors to come in and take big dumps wile a drunk Usagi provides funny commentary, but I think that would take away from the great sense of realism you created. In a review you did, you mentioned that the story was so good that having the character on the toilet was almost a bonus and that's how I feel about this.
Author's Response: Wow, what a positive review! Thank you! ^_^ I actually did bring Ami in to have her use the toilet, but then I changed my mind and used her to embarrass Rei instead. For some reason I haven't been getting the e-mail notices telling me when reviews are posted to my fics. : /
Not bad. I liked it. Though it would have been nice to have seen more of the girls go, but it's still nice. I could notice a few errors, namely Rei being dressed in the 'clothing of the trio' and a few missing words here and there.
Only other thing I can think of would be adding some lines or jokes. Like Ami giving a nervous smile when Rei is being mean to Usagi and other little anime-ish reactions.
Author's Response: That's supposed to be "the least clothing of the trio." I apparently deleted a word accidentally when I reorganized the sentence. I'll go through and proofread it. I suppose I could have another girl go in and check on Usagi and Rei after they've taken so long, then use the toilet while she's there. I know what you mean about the character moments. It's been so long since I was into the anime that I don't know the "feel" of the show like I used to. Thanks for your honest review.
This whole thing is hilarious. I laughed when she first announced to Mamoru that she had to pee, especially given how she acts with this kind of thing around him in your other stories. I did see this scene uncut and translated once and you perfectly captured Usagi's mannerisms and wild drunken ramblings. I could imagine the woman who dubbed her voice saying those lines.
Beyond being absolutely believable and realistic in the series, this story reads like a real life event. I was constantly reminded of a lot of those "random drunk girl on the toilet" clips you see on YouTube. Reading this, you feel like your in the stall with Rei and Usagi, and that's a wonderful thing!
Author's Response: Thank you for such a positive review! Besides watching this episode on YouTube I haven't seen a full "Sailor Moon" episode for about 2 years, so I was worried I wasn't getting the characters right. The one thing I did have going for me was real-life experience with drunken girls. I'm also glad that someone got that I was poking fun at the dub, where she got "sick" from drinking "juice."
Author's Response: Glad you liked it, despite the lack of poop. I could have had Rei poop, since that's what most people here want to read, but I decided to go with what I wanted instead. If and when I get back into my "Sailor Moon groove," I'll finish my story where Usagi dumps at the climax.