i enjoyed it ummm what else
uhh idk but i liked the story
No. Lobo is just a random name. You can find plenty of references that don't relate to the DC character.
That being said, the whole story was accurate in recreating the feel of an anime episode. I could easily see the whole thing (well, maybe not the big finish - something like that is probably too much for regular anime) being an actual episode.
The dump ... wow. Never thought a humanoid could produce a load that would make an elephant blush. Three toilets in one setting, way to go.
Bones mentioned a few errors. Missing words, the like. I noticed a few too. Didn't really take much away from the story though.
Overall, outstanding work. One of your best efforts to date. Looking forward to whatever you can come up with next.
It's funny. Every time I write something I think I probably screwed up big time, yet no matter what the reviews are always saying nice things and are filled with praise. Either I got some weird esteem issue or I'm too good to even realize how great I am :P
Enough ranting, thanks for the review. You should check out Outlaw Star, if you like Cowboy Bebop, it's right up the same alley.
One thing I liked was how you referred to and took elements from your other Outlaw Star stories and the S2X drawing captions. It makes it feel like they're all part of one big evolving story.
It could have been interesting to open with a space battle. I think at least one episode of the show started that way and then went onto something else, but that kind of stuff is hard to write believably. Even without that, this fic. still has that “lost episode” feel I love that you're so good at. Elements like Aisha and Gene's fight, the cyborg getting hit with the door, and the last scene are classic anime humor.
Personally, I think it might have been funnier if when the announcer asked her if she had anything to say, Aisha had calmly taken the mic and said something like “I gotta take a monster dump. Where's the john?” and gotten uncomfortable silence and stairs. Smashing three tables on the way may be more like her though. It also could have been fun to have some guys or girls in the bathroom when she started bombing the can.
I noticed some missing and wrong words as I was going through this. Not that I'm one to say anything, there just seemed to be a few more than usual for some reason.
I liked Aisha destroying the bathroom one stall at a time Three toilets filled in one “sitting” has to be a new record here. I remember once reading an interview with one of the Joy Angels girls where she talked about a time in high school when she clogged a toilet and still had to finish in the next stall.
I had an idea what was going to happen to the money before the end. The wording of the letter was great.
I'd love to see another pic. of her too, this time with those stockings around her ankles in dirty stall.
Glad you enjoyed it. I had thought of making Aisha say something, but I wanted her to get all "get the hell out of my way, I'm about to give birth to a watermelon sized shit!" as soon as the fight was over.
As for the errors, I'll check for them. But sometimes I don't notice ever one, if you could point out the easier to miss ones, that'd be nice.
Anyway, thanks for the review, it's always appreciated.
Wow, finally you write something Orpheum ^^
Couldn't say much, as I never watch Outlaw Star -__-" but it's great! Orpheum style, really ^^
Author's Response: Thanks, glad to you enjoyed it. Let's hope maybe Aisha's big booty will have an 'encore' in a drawn format. ;)