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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: kira Signed
Very nice story
Date: Feb 08, 2010 06:25 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Poowrite Signed

I really liked the way you built up to the accident slowly, detailing her meals and the effect of her muscle relaxant drugs. I was expecting the muscle relaxants to weaken her sphincter and cause an accident, I rather liked your approach however.

The only part of the story I felt was weak was the guard's dialog when he found her. Other than that, it was a wonderful read.
Date: Feb 07, 2010 12:47 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: yarr Signed
Gotta say, this was very well done. Pretty much prefect, the only thing I can put my finger on for improvement is that her dump should been unleashed into some poor toilet, killing it. But that would be Bomber Wolf, and your story is about the sniper :p
Date: Feb 05, 2010 10:40 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Very nice! I had almost forgotten that you were making your own MGS story. It's definately more elaborate than mine, and does offer more, conservative version of Wolf thatn the one I used. Of course, this being an 'origins' story, it does fit in quite nicely.

One of these days I should try and get back and do another MGS inspired story. I have actually, considered one using the girl from the second Metal Gear game, though I'm trying to figure out how it could work.

Date: Feb 05, 2010 02:47 am [Report This]
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