(I agree about scenebreaks, though.)
Author's Response: I don't understand what it is about the scene transitions that people don't like. They seem fine to me.
Hmm, to be honest, for the length of the story, the egg scene was a pretty big let down in my opinon, it just seemed tacked on for the sake of the contest and it wasn't very long.
Also, seperating scenes would reduce confusion when the scene suddenly changes
Author's Response: The pregnancy/egg-laying plot ended up being less prominent than it was in the outline. When I went to write the whole story out, some parts got longer and longer, while the egg part stayed pretty much the same. I'm sorry to see that you were disappointed.