Reviews For A Wet Night
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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: ing131 Signed
This is good , but I personally would have put a twist on it by making her dream the whole thing, then wake up to find that she wet the bed! Just an idea to make it a bit deeper.
Date: Apr 22, 2011 11:46 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: bored Signed

Very nice story, but details would have made it better. How large was the bottle in terms of volumer? 500ml, 1L? What does abbie look like? Why hasn't she been to the bathroom in 3 days?

 

Date: Apr 13, 2011 01:46 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Radiohead540 Signed
This was a great story, I think you should expand on it. I haven't seen many like this one, and it has the potential of a full series. Keep up the good work.
Date: Apr 12, 2011 12:58 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Xeono Signed

This could have been better, but it isn't terrible. Here are a few pointers I can give to you.

One, you should try to describe the character(s) you focus your story on. We don't even know what Abbie looks like, let alone much of anything about her.

Two, your paragraph structure. Your words are very cluttered and make it a bit tedious to read. There are a couple of spelling/grammar errors here and there, but everyone makes mistakes like this, so it isn't that big of a deal.

I do like your descriptions, though. They describe the situation well, and the details are attentive.

Overall, it's a good first attempt. I'm sure your next story (if you make another one) would be much better if you break it up into paragraphs, and pay a little more attention to character description.

3/5

Date: Apr 11, 2011 10:30 pm [Report This]
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