Ya, it was good, but definitely could have used more description in the wetting scene. And also you could have told what she was wearing earlier on. Overall though, it was a good story!
Author's Response: Hallelujah! No really, thanks a lot for that review. I'll try taking what you said I to consideration for my next story. Thanks again
Reviews For The price of victory
Date: Apr 22, 2011 10:37 pm [Report This]
Not a bad read. There were a few run-ons here and there and the descriptions need a little work, but otherwise it was was a good story. I feel sorry for Serah though, especially considering how utterly humiliating that must have been.
Author's Response:
Thanks pack, will try to do better next time.
EW.
Author's Response:
Date: Apr 22, 2011 03:52 pm [Report This]