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Title: Serah's Downfall Reviewer: ing131 Signed
Ya, it was good, but definitely could have used more description in the wetting scene. And also you could have told what she was wearing earlier on. Overall though, it was a good story!

Author's Response: Hallelujah! No really, thanks a lot for that review. I'll try taking what you said I to consideration for my next story. Thanks again
Date: Apr 22, 2011 10:37 pm [Report This]
Title: Serah's Downfall Reviewer: packrat Signed
Not a bad read.  There were a few run-ons here and there and the descriptions need a little work, but otherwise it was was a good story.  I feel sorry for Serah though, especially considering how utterly humiliating that must have been.

Author's Response:

Thanks pack, will try to do better next time. EW.
Date: Apr 22, 2011 03:52 pm [Report This]
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