Wow. This story... this was really outstanding. Great build up to the accidents, and great desperation sequences and messing sequences.
Breaking the fourth wall early on kinda threw me off a bit, and I was glad that you didn't do it often in the story.
Overall, very well done. I really enjoyed this.
Thanks a lot! You'll notice that it's only the narration that breaks the fourth wall early on. Bulma does so once as well, but it's near the end. And as you may know, the Dragonball manga also does similar things in the first arc, such as characters discussing what kind of jokes are too dirty for the magazine it's published in.