Quite enjoyable! It made me realize diarrhea stories are pretty rare on this site. Naturally I was somewhat reminded of my "Love Hina" fanfic with the stuck zipper, but here it's a very different story.
I like the bit about bowel-rumblings mistaken for stomach-rumblings. "Yuna didn't need to put something in, she needed to let something out." Great line! I also like, "The teeth refused to let go, like a big dog with its favorite toy."
You do a great job of describing Yuna's desperate feelings and her struggle with her clothes. You really make the scene feel urgent. The evacuation itself is especially vivid. It's a long accident, and we get to hear about every phase.
I also enjoyed the scene with Rikku. It's nice to have some female bonding over an accident clean-up. I love how Rikku is just suddenly sitting on the toilet, pissing away.
The one complaint I have is about the very beginning. I think it needs more of an introduction. You don't tell us the setting, and at first we don't even know who's talking.
Reviews For Yuna's Stuck Zipper
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Anime Lover Signed
not much to say, but very nice story ^_^
Date: Jan 07, 2013 12:33 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
I KNEW IT!
I knew you'd drum up something with Yuna. Kudos.
Now go do something with Rebecca like you said. :P
Date: Jan 06, 2013 03:50 am [Report This]