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Title: Riza needs bathroom break Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
This is a well-written scene that I enjoyed reading, despite not knowing much about the manga/anime.

You do a good job of describing Riza's thought process as well as actions. I like how she tries to take her mind off her need, but the memory leads right back there. The temptation she feels to go in her clothes is also well-written and doesn't come across as gratuitous. But mostly what I love about this story is the lengths to which she goes to maintain her dignified exterior.

She wants to run to the latrines, but walks instead. Even when she's inside a bathroom stall sitting on the toilet, she tried to keep a stoic expression. It dissolves away before her (well-described) latrine break is through, but it still makes for an enjoyable and unique scene.

I did an image search for Riza Hawkeye, and was kind of disappointed I did. The uniformed blonde I imagined while reading the story was much better than the real character. The childish face and miniskirt uniform take something away from the whole "dignified female soldier" image.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Glad you enjoyed it. Good to see it did all fit together well and not come off as rushed or anything.
Date: Oct 24, 2013 04:50 am [Report This]
Title: Riza needs bathroom break Reviewer: DrBones Signed
I've never actually seen the second anime series or read the manga, (I probably should, seems like something I would like.) I do remember most of the original anime from when it was on Adult Swim, but Hawkeye was never the most memorable character to me, though I at least remember what she looks like.

The idea of a girl who is so discipline and trained that she at first won’t hold her stomach or make noise, even alone in an empty bathroom, is an interesting concept.

I also liked Armstrong, (a character I do remember well) being so helpful and understanding. If a cute girl was willing to tell me she had to go, I'd do almost anything to help her get relief.

The one thing I would have liked is a little more done with Sheska. It might have been nice for Hawkeye to have a buddy dump with her or walk into a wall of stink as she exits the bathroom and really give her something to apologize for.

Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed it, and yes, you should totally see the new anime and the manga. It's really great, and in my honest opinion, even better than the first anime.

 

As the Sheska bit, I was tempted to do more with her, but didn't want to take too much focus off of Riza, as she was the center for the little challenge. Though I might do something with Sheska later, since I absolutely adored her.

 

Also, hope to hear back from you on the email about some ideas.

Date: Jul 20, 2013 11:51 am [Report This]
Title: Riza needs bathroom break Reviewer: SakuraLover25 Signed
Good job! I really enjoyed this fic and I was a breath of fresh (maybe stinky) air. Please continue!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it.
Date: Jul 12, 2013 08:01 am [Report This]
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