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Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: deathmame Signed
really liked this story
Date: May 20, 2015 08:20 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: blooper Signed

I'm not really qualified to review this, as I know nothing about Teen Titans or writing, but I really liked the story.

The description was excellent, the personalities are well done, and the accident descriptions are great. I wish they peed as well, but it probably doesn't fit with the stomach thing and that's personal nitpicking anyway.



Author's Response: Hello hello there dearest reader. As I have with everyone else allow me to thank you for taking the time to review. That you took the time to read and form an opinion is really all the qualification one needs to be a reviewer.

On one note however if you are not familiar with the show as you say, I know my descriptions of the characters themselves were lacking. I sometimes work under the assumption that the reader knows all that I do, a fault I know but still. I hope that it did not detract too much from the story. In any case I thank you for reading,

Till next we speak

-Echo

Date: May 15, 2014 05:51 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Poowrite Signed
Another excellent chapter! Raven was always my favorite Titan, but I was pleased to see an appearance by Starfire in this chapter. I wondered if she'd be showing up in this story.

Once again, I thought Raven and Jinx's interactions were a highpoint of the story. I thought you did a really good job of building their relationship and I really enjoy Jinx in this story. I'm looking forward to her getting a turn on the potty... or, not on the potty as the case may be :)

Raven explaining her accident to Robin felt spot-on as well. Good work. I have to admit though, I'm a little surprised that with Raven's emotions running so high, her control hasn't started to slip a little. I seem to recall her power being driven by emotion?

I feel like you cleaned up some of the confusion I had in the last chapter. Everything felt like it read better this time.

The expulsions were both top-notch as well. These girls can carry around huge loads ^^.

Great work once again. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Well hello again, once more I am glad you've enjoyed the show. I did promise Star in the title block as did I for Jinx. Poor girl has no idea what's in store for her, but I think my readers do.

To your comment regarding Raven's power, I'll be honest that wasn't even on my mind when I started this tale, and chapter two was already around seventy percent down when I posted the first page. Now that I have a fresh slate with witch to work I may play with that some if it seems appropriate. In the show it was said that her emotions were tied to her powers, but I always felt the explanation was lacking, how closely were they entangled and why? Anywayz though, that's a rant for another day.

For now simply allow me to thank you once for reading and twice for reviewing.

Till next we speak

-Echo

Date: May 12, 2014 10:32 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Poowrite Signed
Well, let me be the first to tell you that I hope this isn't the last bit of erotic fiction you ever do. This was a fantastic story, and I'd really like to read more like it.

I'm not terribly familiar with the Teen Titans, to be honest. I never saw the last season of the show, and I've never read the comics. I don't know if Jinx ever joins them, or if a relationship buds between her and Raven. But, I thought you did a really great job with them. One of the highlights of the story, in my opinion, was the interaction between them. Especially in the opening scene.

I've always been a fan of diarrhea accidents, and boy did you ever deliver here. The setup was believable, the build up was intense, and the eventual payoff was everything anyone could have hoped for. What followed was tastefully done (considering the material ;]) and maybe the best erotic scat scene I've ever read.

The only real complaint I had was that occasionally, it was difficult to follow. For example,

"
She broke eye contact, blushing furiously. So red in fact her hair was being rivaled in sheer vibrancy, "And... your not... weirded out or anything?"

Behind the shadows of her hood hiding her face she grinned, even she was allowed to have fun sometimes. "It's not as if you made your sexuality any secret beforehand."
"

These two sentences follow each other. In the first one, "she" refers to Jinx. In the second, "she" refers to Raven but there isn't any indication of that unless you happen to know Raven is wearing a hood.

Also, given how emotional Raven was in the end it would have been a neat touch if her powers were going slightly haywire. Not a problem with the story, really, just would have been a neat touch.

Overall, I immensely enjoyed this. Everything was just about perfect, and I'd really love to read anything else you might come up with.

Author's Response: Well firstly I have to give my gratitude for your reviewing. It is all too often the writer's own criticism that the worst. But thankfully at least to some it has merit. And as far as your criticisms go I appreciate it, following the bouncing around I seem prone to is something I am trying to work on. A beta would help but even without we strive for perfection. We'll see just how much improvement might be found in the coming chapters. And a lil Teen Titan lore if your interested, Raven in the comic at least, developed a relationship with Beastboy of all people. Never understood that one, the Rae/Jinx shipping is something I picked up from Fanfiction and liked. Till next we speak -Echo
Date: May 06, 2014 12:52 am [Report This]
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