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Title: Chapter 3: Quest for Cleanup Reviewer: diokno44x Signed
A little short, but still quite good chapter 
Date: Apr 19, 2015 12:00 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2-Blowout Bathroom Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Would say the biggest thing that needs work is the descriptions, things such as "like it was cut up by a chainsaw maniac" just don't really set a mood, but sound more like a casual descriptor of things in conversation. Also, the dumpings could be longer and more involved, plus the character interactions should be more accurate to each one.

Date: Feb 28, 2015 02:43 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2-Blowout Bathroom Reviewer: livinginfinite Signed
Oh, I can't believe I missed this. This is great!
Date: Sep 13, 2014 01:47 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2-Blowout Bathroom Reviewer: blooper Signed
Pretty good. The accidents need more description, but in general was a good short story. I like it.
Date: Jun 05, 2014 12:36 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1-A Chance Meeting Reviewer: Poowrite Signed
Well, what's there is pretty good. It's just... there isn't much there :). I'm interested in reading more, though. I hope you add on to this.

Author's Response: Alright, made the chapter longer
Date: Jun 01, 2014 05:24 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1-A Chance Meeting Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Really needs some work. For one, if you want the characters to meet up, you should have that happen in the first chapter, that way, the readers have a better starting point. Doing it short like this makes it feel more like something that would be better off in the interactive stories section.



Author's Response: Alright, thanks guys, I'll do just that
Date: Jun 01, 2014 02:01 pm [Report This]
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