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Title: Yoko Wins! Reviewer: thedriffer91 Signed
Great story! Honestly for a short, I felt it was fairly well constructed. I didn't expect to like all that I did when it was getting to Yoko is her pleasure seeking moments, but I did! I liked the way you handled her:)

Author's Response:

Thank you very much!

Yeah, a lot of stories on this site are more about the poop, less about other stuff, so I was actually a bit worried a lot of folks wouldn't like the more... Saucey moments in my stories. I'm really glad it's been recieved well :) 

Date: Oct 08, 2014 12:46 am [Report This]
Title: Yoko Wins! Reviewer: Specd8 Signed
Looking forward to the revision

Author's Response: It shouldn't be too long now :)
Date: Sep 18, 2014 02:44 am [Report This]
Title: Yoko Wins! Reviewer: Captain Cold Signed
Pretty good. My only complaints are that there wasn't enough buildup and Nia didn't get to enough.

Author's Response:

Yeah, I seem to have an issue adding "meat" to my stories. I really need to work on it. I'm taking writing in college though, so hopefully the revision I'm working on will be much better.

And as of Nia, there might be a surprise coming for her... 

Date: Sep 03, 2014 11:58 pm [Report This]
Title: Yoko Wins! Reviewer: bored Signed
Bravo! Bravo!

Author's Response: Thank you! *bows*
Date: Aug 27, 2014 05:09 pm [Report This]
Title: Yoko Wins! Reviewer: Nia Signed
I did enjoy it, though I was hoping there would be more to do with Nia, I really like Nia for some reason, maybe her going more, or just slower and more described, maybe getting teased or Nia trying to chat with Yoko or something I dunno,

btw I should mention, she is NOT where my name comes from, I just happen to change my name to Nia before I saw TTGL.

Author's Response: Already responded to you in the thread, but I'll say it again, Hopefully in my revisions or another story I'll include more Nia :)
Date: Aug 27, 2014 02:58 am [Report This]
Title: Yoko Wins! Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Very interesting. But it feels like it could be fine-tuned a little.

For one, Yoko's animostity with Nia shoudl be played up more, maybe she's a bit teasing of the constipated Nia. As for Nia, her dump just seems to end as soon as it started. What could have been fun would be her returning for another round and discovering Yoko birthing a monstrous load all over hers.

Also, the start could use more fleshing out, since it does seem to kick off with Yoko hating lack of attention. 



Author's Response: Yeah, I'm not too happy with this one myself to be honest. Thank you for the critique, I do believe I'll be revising it in the future.
Date: Aug 27, 2014 12:02 am [Report This]
Title: Yoko Wins! Reviewer: DaveDaKing2799 Signed
Hey love the stories especially the one with yoko and nia I'm wondering if you're gonna add more to that story and if so when ? 

Author's Response: I'm going to get to work revising the current story as is, adding more stuff. Expect some revisions done in about a week or two!
Date: Aug 26, 2014 10:01 pm [Report This]
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