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Title: Ruki is constipated Reviewer: LiveOffGold101 Signed
hopes that the sequel is still valid. but i couldn't possibly write it. i'm bogged down with normal fanfiction as it is. btu i loved this.
Date: Jun 25, 2012 05:43 pm [Report This]
Title: Ruki is constipated Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
This version is definitely better. You really play up the distress Ruki feels, which I love. I also like how you made her older. I don't know how old Riku was supposed to be in "Digimon Tamers," but she looks about like a 6th grader, and it's much more pleasant for me to picture an 11th grader in this fic.

My only criticism of the content is that I'm not clear where she was before she came home. Scenery descriptions would help.

You wanted me to list the mistakes I could find, so here they are. The word "render" is still there where I think you mean "rend," as in split or tear. You also say "bare" (meaning reveal) when you mean "bear" (meaning withstand). I think "fox-life" is supposed to be "fox-like," and "sigh" should be "sight."

Author's Response:

Originally she's like 10-12 in the Japanese and English versions respectively, though to be honest she did seem almost 13 with the detail they gave to her butt (I mean they make it pretty round in some shots :P) but yea I figured it'd be nice to at least advance her age so others wouldn't feel as awkward about it.

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. If you spot any more in the digimon stories (which I've updated a few of with replacement chapters), I'm all ears.

Date: Sep 17, 2010 12:06 pm [Report This]
Title: Rika is constipated Reviewer: Jimmy Olsen Signed
I liked this. It's short and simple, so there's not much to say, but I did enjoy it. The chicks in these fics rarely lube themselves up, so that was nice to read about, as was her calling her friend to show off her log. Those are the things that stand out. "A true specimen the world would be shocked at," is my favorite line. The only problem is that you use several words that clearly aren't what you mean, but are spelled similar to words you would use in that situation. I'm guessing you did a spell check and some words got "corrected" into totally different words. Anyway, this is a fun little scene, and it would be cool if it could become a chapter in a bigger story (although I'm not really a Digimon fan).
Date: Sep 16, 2010 09:40 pm [Report This]
Title: Rika is constipated Reviewer: Mr Punch Signed
Well done, well done :)
Date: Nov 17, 2009 05:45 pm [Report This]
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