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Title: Dragon ball Z: Trunks peeps on 18 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
Shame the stories on writing.com were lost, those were good, even if some could use a lot of work.

Author's Response: Im glad to keep one of them alive, still dont know why the guy who made those interactives just made them disappear, but atleast i had some insperation from them to make these stories
Date: Apr 13, 2016 07:28 pm [Report This]
Title: Dragon ball Z: Trunks peeps on 18 Reviewer: Khory122484mm Signed
I really really like this, keep up the good work bro
Date: Apr 13, 2016 07:13 am [Report This]
Title: Dragon ball Z: Trunks peeps on 18 Reviewer: Paytonzane Signed

Only qualm I have with the story is how you mixed up Android and Cyborg in hilariously the same way the show did. 17 and 18 are technically Cyborgs, because a Cyborg is a human that has had metal parts added (or "augmented") to them. For example, the hero "Cyborg" from Teen Titans used to be a normal guy, until an accident caused him to need to be turned into a cyborg or die. An Android is a machine/robot built to look/act like a human, or at least a bipedal humanoid. The other androids in Dr. Gero's army, like himself and 16 and 19, were all robots made of purely mechanical parts, save for Dr. Gero's brain which was added to his Andriod body. 

 

But enough of me rambling about androids and cyborgs; great story, loved the dialogue and interactions between 18 and Trunks, can't wait to see you write more. Especially if you write more DBZ stuff. 18, Bulma, and Chi-Chi aren't nearly explored enough on this site.



Author's Response:

You know now that i think about it, dbz abriged also said the that the "androids" were technically cyborgs, funny how i forgot about that, but thanks for the review.

 

Date: Apr 13, 2016 03:40 am [Report This]
Title: Dragon ball Z: Trunks peeps on 18 Reviewer: MrMoow Signed
Your writing is definitely improving. Could still use some work on sentence fluidity and structure, but I can tell you're working hard at it.

Well done, man.
Date: Apr 13, 2016 02:59 am [Report This]
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