I definitely like how the story is longer than most of your others... It gives you the ability to describe more. I didn't notice many grammar mistakes. You did well when it came to grammar. One recommendation from me is that you should start dividing your stories into paragraphs so the Wall of Text your story is doesn't scare others off. I just really, really want to say that this story is ANOTHER repetition. Three girls pooping in the stalls next to each other. One with Diarrhea, the next with constipation, and the last with a healthy dump. That idea was just like in The Brown Spell (or one of your Skyrim stories). Yes, some people do like your stories, no doubt, but the 2.5-star rating you had before I rated this shows what people really think of your story. This story so good... And other than creativity, you ARE getting better, but honestly, the lack of creativity is bringing you down.