Reviews For Captured
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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: EFROdian Signed

A very interesting switch seeing Toph helpless, humiliated, and crying.  Once in a while it's refreshing to see a character put in a totally opposite postion then he or she is normally.  As for Azula, i thought that this scenerio wasn;t far off (from what I see, she has no qualms about using such methods).  Although I did cringe at the mention of bloody anal rape (I like anal sex but only when it's consenusal and if the girl finds at least some pleasure in it), your story did bring out my means streak and for the most part I enjoyed it.  I thought the peeing was a bit rushed, though the electricity idea was very good.  The ending seemed a bit hurried as well, but apart from that and a few grammar errors, it was a good fic.  I'm eager to see what you come up with next.



Author's Response: Thanks for reading.rnrnI admit, the ending was rushed, I didn\'t want the fic to end with Toph still captured, I didn\'t want if being that kind of fic, I actually had plans on Toph \'returning\' the favor to Azula and get some earth up her butt, but I didn\'t get around to it.
Date: Oct 26, 2007 04:24 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Poowrite Signed
Well, I put away my objections concerning the character involved and read it.

It wasn't bad. I like anal sex (giving it, of course) and outside of one "damn" I thought Toph and Azula were pretty accurate.

That being said, I prefer anal sex when the girl gives her consent and the mention of blood was a big turn off for me. There are some things that appeal to my men streak, but bloody anal rape isn't one of 'em ^^.

Aside from that, it was pretty good. I think you're right, extreme electrical shock would probably result in loss of bladder control.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading ^_^rnrnI could\'ve easily replace the swear word with something else, but I figured Azula would be the type of person to swear.rnPlus, I bet if Avatar wasn\'t aimed at kids, it would have swearing in it.
Date: Oct 20, 2007 05:07 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: FallenStar Signed

I think AL's right here.  If you're shocked by electricity, your muscles tense and spasm wildly.  I don't think anyone has any real control at that point.

 

AL...  as to your fic, I noticed a bunch of grammar errors (most notably your usage of "dicided" instead of "decided", but that's pretty much your only failing as far as I could see.

Everything else looked really well done and I look forward to seeing more fics from you.  I didn't mind the torture so much as long as you didn't go any more into detail.  Using electricity to torture Toph and make her pee sounded like a really good idea....  LOL

 

FallenStar 

Date: Oct 20, 2007 10:33 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

This was pretty good. A little too extreme for such a young character, but I guess that's to be expected of what is technically a loli fic.

I kinda think the pee part should've been longer, like she dribbles then Azula plays with her to make her piss more.

 

Overall a pretty good story, not quite my cup of tea, but still a bit more bearable than most of those really brutal rape stories.



Author's Response: Thanks, the pee part was pretty much added on an whim, And i figured, if someone\'s electrocuted, it doesn\'t matter how good your control is, if there\'s pee in you, it\'s coming out weather you want it to of not :prnrnAbout the extremity, I wanted to try and keep it between almost too far and yet not graphic enough to be hard to read, especially with such an awesome character.rnrnI like doing fics with really mean/sadistic characters too though and Azula\'s perfect ^_^
Date: Oct 20, 2007 03:13 am [Report This]
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