I don't watch Code Lyoko, so I have no idea who these characters are, but that wasn't going to stop me from what I expected to be a gem from the great Orpheum! This story is really good! =)
Reviews For An Odd occurence
Not too bad, it seemed like it was a bit rushed and the ending was kind of abrupt, but the description was good and the characters were accurate. Good job. Looking forward to more Code Lyoko fics!
Date: Dec 04, 2007 01:27 am [Report This]
This is a good description of a dump, with some peeing thrown in for good measure. I wouldn't have much of anything negative to say about this story if it weren't part of Contest V. It doesn't make much use of the body-swap concept. Besides the part with Yumi's mom there was nothing in the story that had to do with Odd being in Yumi's body. There isn't anything about his reaction to peeing out of a girl's urethra or wearing panties or seeing a girl's private parts that belonged to him. I think we should have heard the thoughts you mention in the last paragraph.
Author's Response:
Author's Response:
Well don't forget, it is hard to try and utilize the male and female pronouns in a manner that doesn't muddle things but at the same time satifies whatever quirks the writer has (I don't prefer males going).
But I hear what you're saying, I will probably do some revisions in time, but for now I'll leave to be judged (and it's doing quite well it seems :D) and once the contest is over I'll tidy it up better.
Date: Dec 01, 2007 08:38 pm [Report This]
A nice short story. I agree that in could have been longer and more detailed, but I can see how had you worked to keep it from sounding like a guy. This kind of story would be a lot easier to write in Japanese as it doesn't use personal pronouns like "he" or "she" at all, (which is how you can do a whole series without ever defining a character's gender.) I think the way you had Odd as more of an observer wile Yumi's body did the work on its own is the best way around this.
Author's Response:
I love simple, believable stories like this one where you can feel like they happened "off camera" in a the show. The writers of that episode can't have expected us to believe that he/she never had to use the bathroom in all that time...
Author's Response:
Of course, those two sharing bodies for at least a day and a half if I recall. Granted we don't know if Yumi is a big dumper ;) But then again, most people who train hard and stay fit are likely to be so, given they have to eat in considerable quantity to keep a steady stamina.
Then there's also the fact that I believe I all Japanese girls are programed to shit enormously XD
Date: Nov 30, 2007 10:06 pm [Report This]
Nice one as usual.
Sorry, if i said this but the pooping act doesn't show an 'Orpheum's standard' I mean, a lot of grunting and straining and of course one final big bomb.
Sorry, if I wrote something wrong. Still, it's a good story!
Author's Response: Well it wasn't easy trying to figure out how to make it work without being forced into using 'his' 'him' and other pronouns like that. But then again, even when someone goes, most oral noises vary from how well a person can take it. So I just played that Odd wasn't too bothered, since I realy can't stand the idea of a guy going, even if he is in a chick's body.
Date: Nov 29, 2007 09:03 pm [Report This]
Pretty good, I was able to follow what was going on without to much trouble.
It's good to see an entry for the contest. This one is a tough cookie to crack and I think you did a swell job.
Author's Response:
It's good to see an entry for the contest. This one is a tough cookie to crack and I think you did a swell job.
Author's Response:
Thanks, I'm surprised at myself for whipping it so quickly (only took about 30 or so minutes). Good to see the style was easy to follow.
Can't wait to see what you got in store. That one idea you had on the forums should probably work fine.
Date: Nov 28, 2007 07:35 pm [Report This]