My part 6 due soon too, by the looks of things.
Author's Response: Well unless Yarr comes by to check out reviews for other people's stories, then maybe you should suggest it to him in the forum either on the boards or with a pm. But like I said to Poowrite, I have no doubt Yarr's follow-up will be explosive! XP
I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I hope for the sake of the airline and it's passengers Sakura can hold out until the plane lands.
I hope for Sakura's sake she can hold on long enough to make it out of the airport. We can't have her arrested for carrying bombs around in her stomach :).
Author's Response:
*Sakura clutches her stomach*
Agghh, I'm gonna explode!
*Security guard points gun at her*
Freeze! Put your hands on your head and get on your knees!
*The sounds of monstrous farts and crackling are heard as an enormous cowpat erupts from Sakura's bum, fills and bursts through her panties, and pile unceromoniously onto the floor*
XD
I have no doubt Yarr will deliver unto us a truly spectacular follow-up to Sakura's little binge.
Nice setup, I might have to return the favour some time.
Author's Response: Well of course Sakura needed to be stuffed, so she'd be prepared for her 'visit' to the doctors in the next episode. Don't forget, the phrase 'granola husk feces' must be used, we agreed while wearing labcoats, therefore we must abide by it! :P
At first, I thought you're into bondage orpheum... But glad that it was just a dream :p
Can't wait for next chapter!!! Those tons of food has to go out no matter what ^^
I believe that they use squat toilets in Thailand even more that Japan, as they haven't embraced western culture as much. If Sakura was ever going to get her killer behind over one of those and drop a brown mountain in it, the next chapter would be the perfect time. Of course, I agree that that whole plot point could be very easily skipped over as it really has nothing to do with the main action of the stories. As we already had Chun Li make an appearance, I would love to see Cammy get in on the action in a future chapter, she was always my favorite SF girl. When you mentioned the other girls at school complaining about Sakura's normal dump, I realized that all her toilet killers so far have been relatively private or with someone who was very understanding. It would be fun to see her have to lay one of those in a stall (or two) with nothing but short, thin partitions separating her from a dozen other girls.
I have to ask, was Sakura's use of a colon cleanser and the resulting volume and consistency of her load inspired by some of the Joy Angels girls using them to produce real life record dumps recently?
Author's Response: What can be more epic then a night flight to Thailand! It's up to Orpheum if she lets loose over a squat toilet or let her farts echo inside a standard western toilet in part 5. If I read his review right I guess her next pitstop wil be pretty public. I did nto think about Joyangeles when I wrote this, its kinda lnog since they put out some very good stuff, so I'm not all that up to date with whats going on there though I've seen the clips you refer to and can see where you are coming from.
Awesome, glad to see the next part in our series finally being delivered *pun intended* Though I do think a little lead in for the next part might be needed, since I don't know much about Thai toilets and could certainly use an idea or two on what to have happen. Though if you think Cammy or Karin could step in somehow, any suggestions would be useful.
Jimmy pretty has cited the errors, 'cower' and all that, so I won't bother with those. Overall, I liked it can see how Sakura could accidently binge again and end up on with another 'incident'. I would say we should try to make part 5 the turning point for the whole "Toilet killer" bit.
Author's Response: I gues toilets in Thailand work the same way as toilets elsewhere, heh. Though by all means, you can skip the whole Thailand bit if you like, its not like it matters what country she clogs the toilets in. "back from Thailand after Ryu beat up Sagat and showed her that fighting was'nt just a romantic hobby blah blah" colud be a feasible way around it. Maybe she gets stopped up during the trip and suffers from it back home etc etc. Also notice how after the cleansing he bowels are now at full capacity, so now anything can happen. Maybe CC's record is about to be broken. Anyway take care of yourself man, and take your time, no rush. (I should know.. :1 )
Now for the criticisms. You wrote "cower" instead of "cover" three times. You said Sakura had no money, then she bought food at the cafe. And, although it might be possible, I can't picture "skipping discreetly." Only minor criticisms. This is fun and I look forward to the next chapter, although this series isn't exactly my sort of thing. Actually, I even have a request, if you or Orpheum are open to those.
Author's Response: I did not say she had no money at all, she did not have enough to go on the classic tax free spree. Glad you enjoyed it overall!
Author's Response: I immagine his face would go all dark and shady, so that his eyes would not show and his bandanna would wave profusely in a wind appearing out of nowhere while lightning flashed behind him. Even if he was indoors :p
I've never cared for Street Fighter or any of its female characters, but these stories are still a ton of fun to read. The pooping is described with such vivid detail that I can almost hear it crackling from the girls' bums.
The concept of a toilet murderer was a tad over the top, but I could help but laugh at the concept. Sounds like the Janitor's Union is out to get Sakura :).
I didn't catch the easter egg you mentioned. But, If I had to guess I'd say it has something to do with room 215. The hotel and the room were kinda sparsely described, that you took special care to mention the room number struck me as odd.
Anyway, great story.
Author's Response:
*Sighs, tapping index fingers together with a look of disappointment* I guess no one is ever gonna get it. It's a reference to Hotel Dusk: Room 215 (Known as Angel's Memory in japan) It's an awesome adventure game on the DS about a detective who goes to a hotel and solves a mystery. If you love games like Ico, Monkey Island, and the like, then I highly advise getting this game.
Anyway, thanks for the review. Again, I can understand that not many like Street Fighter *Capcom games aren't exactly known for being 'gentle' :P* But you gotta admit the girls are hot, even if over-the-top, not that it's a bad thing XP
Author's Response: Dude, I think the dump in this was about the size of her body! XP I mean, if a woman could shit this big, I'd love to shake her hand! But I'm sure you'll figure out some way for our dear Sakura to drop a school bus of kids at the pool. *Just don't take too long @__@*
Anyway, it's good, but I feel like it should be better, considering the characters involved. The premise is pretty far-fetched, but that doesn't really bother me. I can still get into the story. What bothers me more is how the description of Chun-Li is pretty bare-bones, and the interplay between her and Sakura is pretty banal. Then again, I have a long-time adoration for Chun-Li, so I'm inclined to hold fics focussing on her to a high standard. The pooping, on the other hand, is described vividly and eloquently.
There are two sentences in particular that I thought were very good additions: "It felt like a monster was clawing at her insides, demanding to be unleashed from it's dark confines." and "Her hole gradually opened, a thick log slowly peeking like curious mouse, then retreated." There's also one sentence that I thought was greatly improved by a slight rewording: "Sitting down, Sakura sighed with relief as her cheeks spread out and molded onto the seat..." There are many other improvements, but these were the most obvious to me.
One thing that bugged me was that there are two different "as though" clauses in the final sentence of the 4th paragraph (the one beginning with "Uh oh!").
The bottom line is this is a good chapter, and made better by the revisions, but there's plenty of room for improvement.
Author's Response:
Well for some reason replacing the chapter doesn't seem to bump it back to the front page. Glad you enjoyed it though. I'll admit it's a little far fetched, but we are talking about a series where the girl is taking a dump large enough to make a cow pat look like rat turd. I mean, how many of our stories have been totally realistic? :P
Though how was Chun-Li described badly? I thought I did pretty good in describing her body and outfit pretty well. I'll admit her personality might be a bit off, but then again there's like a dozen versions of her I don't think anyone would care much. As for her talk with Sakura, it's meant to be like a giddy fangirl meeting their idol.
Anyway, thanks for the review.
I wonder what would happen if Sakura did get caught in the act of committing "toilet murder". Would they just make her clean it up, forbid her from using any public flush toilet ever again, or have a police man watch her go to be sure she took a normal, human sized dump every day?
I assume "Awesome Experience" refers to Sakura getting to have an informal pooping contest with her hero. I had been trying to come up with something like that; I normal character and a famous person share a bathroom.
Don't take offense Orpheum, but the hotel scene did seem rushed. Everything was just too convenient and the girls where a little too willing to go along with it. I love your work, but it almost seemed to read as; "Hey kid, wanna take a dump with me? *fart, plop, wipe* See ya." I think this is a good enough premise that it would be worth refining and expanding.
The day after I read the second chapter, I saw the Street fighter Alpha movie on TV so I get the "anti-gravity headband" jokes a lot better now. Plus, Sakura's mentioning that she wanted to go to America just to be in a hot dog eating contest at the beginning defiantly made me think of this series. (An idea for a future chapter perhaps?)
Author's Response: Like I said I or even Yarr might come back and do a bit of revising to the chapter. As for Sakura making a stop in America, who knows. It definately would make her more infamous to be killing toilets in both the east and west. As for the buddy dump part, I figured Sakura wouldn't be too shy about going with Chun-Li, she isn't really the type to get all gushy blushy and quiet. But yea, I'll probably try to fix that.
Author's Response: God speed, monkey. Let's just hope he doesn't get into the gin like last time...
The smell alone would have been enough to topple an army of Zangiefs.
Ha ha ha! That part just made my day when it came to that story!
Author's Response: Glad you liked the joke. Thanks for the review.
As always, your dumping scene was something not of this world; I get the feeling that this will be a series that ends with Sakura having to kung-fu battle every janitor in her home city ^~
Author's Response: Who knows, right now I'm still plotting the third chapter, then it'll be Yarr's turn again to make things even more crazy. I'm eventually figuring that Sakura will somehow figure out a way to pull her ass out of the fire.
As I often do, I have collected a few sentences I thought were particularly good. "An unusual collection of facts enabled her to ignore the pounds of clay like manure inside her tush, now innocently hugging her classroom chair." "... Sakura let go a nasal grunt as her waste continued to press out of her like a grotesque imitation of a giant toothpaste tube."
Great work, and I look forward to the next chapter (especially if it has Chun Li letting loose a torrent of piss)!
Such an anaconda is what always making me excited! Great job in making Sakura clogging toilet over toilet
But.. how can a girl clogging a toilet ever be bad?