Title: Chapter 4
Reviewer: sonic Signed
excellent man excellent
In some ways, the ending was great. The description was great, especially the part about the groove left in the volcano by her butt. But some things aren't as resolved as her digestive plot. We never see, or even hear in summary, her important business at the capital of the Human Empire, which would seem like the natural conclusion to the story. Also nothing is made of Tom's history as a great warrior, even though it seems like something that wouldn't be mentioned if it weren't an important part of the story, and it's even alluded to in the summary of the story.
Basically I think this is a good story that could be a great story if it were more finished and had a smoother prose style.
Author's Response: As a novel, threads are deliberately left hanging, like her business later and other thihngs. Its a story about a giantess emptying her butt, and once that is done theres no need to stay further. I *could* quit my day job and write a lord of the rings-ish epic story, but then someone would have to pay me. Well :p
Hands down, you have won this.
You should make a sketch so we can get a better picture of what Melina looks like, but a side-by-side comparison of her 'human' form and her true giant sized form.
This reminds me, I've been thinking about a trilogy with Sakura from Street Fighter, if you want to maybe collaborate or something, we could make one epic story.
Author's Response: Oh no, you dont want me to draw anything, trust me. I would not mind someone competent doing though. I'd love to collaborate on a story, feel free to pester me on that sometime.
Gimicks, gotta love'em! ^_^
I like this so far, at first I thought you went with the less approched subject of giants, not towaring stories high, but a more realistic 'larger then normal' giant.
but your gimick of 'Huge giant being shrunck for some unknown reason but still having giant size amount of poop.' was quite a nice surprise.
looking forward to the next chapter
Author's Response: I thought it would be fun with surprises besides how much girls pooop
Title: Chapter 1
Reviewer: Poowrite Signed
Very impressive! In my humble opinion, your best work yet. I eagerly await the final chapter. I think you did a good job crafting a story that was more than simply pooping and your signature massive dumps did not disappoint.
There were a few spelling errors here and there, nothing to distracting.
In all, a good piece of fantasy. I throughly enjoyed reading it.
Author's Response: I aim to releas.. ehm please.
Lots of stuff here, so I'm giving you an overall impression of what I thought rather than covering every observation I had.
This is an interesting, mysterious story, and I like how the desperation doesn't take center stage for a long while. However, the tension and mystery are somewhat diffused by an abundance of unnecessary words (to the point where I wonder if these events wouldn't have been better conveyed as two 1,800-word chapters instead of three). I love good descriptive prose, but you seem to take it too far here, and it becomes tedious. You also tend to use many words to say something when a few would do, and to mix formal and informal English in awkward ways.
I think the revelation of what Melina is is poorly handled. After the reader has been wondering and picking up clues for two and a half chapters, it's annoying to just come out with it out of the blue, instead of having someone discover her secret or something (like that). Melina's nature should either have been revealed as soon as we got into her head, or there should have been a dramatic revelation. It's the same way, to a lesser extent, with Tom's past as a warrior. Besides problems of form, I noticed an inconsistency. In Chapter 1 you establish that Melina's natural hair color is blonde, and in Chapter 2 her public hair is white.
The story's premise is good, and your descriptions are quite good when you don't overdo them. Plus there are little touches here and there that I like, such as Melina being bothered by insects since they're now noticeably large to her, and her envying the horse for not being "bound by laws of social etiquette." And then there's the sentence "...a dainty water flush toilet would not be practical in handling what she planned to leave behind." I just love that. But at the same time this story needs some work.
Author's Response: Yes professor!
Well - When I write stories its always done as a draft, I sit down and wake up a while after, and there is suddenly words on my screen. This story was also intentionally made "heavy", indeed, maybe too much so. Not much proofreading ever takes place. This is good critisism though, and I'll keep it in mind for the cleanup when adding the last chapter.
Yet another great chapter. I had figured she was under a spell of sorts from the start, but when you mentioned her pointed teeth I almost thought she was a vampire or something. Well, I can expect the town is gonna be in for BIG surprise when SHE erupts into the volcano!
Well, get the next chapter ready! I shalln't remain patient for long.
Awesome! Can't wait for more, given that I can guess she only got rid of like 20% of the dump, right?
I am curious though, how is this going to lead to a giantess dumping? I mean she's tall, but probably only amazonian by height standards. I'm figuring either magic spell to make herself bigger or maybe something like desperation causes her to grow in size.
Can't wait for more, get on it!
Author's Response: *speaks from far within mist that suddenly appeared from nowhere*
It will all be revealed... in time.. *manical cackle*
Very nice. I can a more traditional fantasy than Jimmy's or mine's fairy tale-ish narritive.
Glad to finally have a third competitor, hopefully Poowrite or someone else will join too. We really need a lot of competition so the contests will be really fun.
Can't wait for the second piece, good luck!