Well, I liked it. It was a little light on the story, but c'mon, the pooping was pretty good and that's the biggest thing here. I award bonus cool points for throwing in some diarrhea, too.
There were a few spelling errors and it was a bit short, but ovr all very good. Thanks for sharing.
Date: Aug 05, 2008 09:13 pm [Report This]
I agree but the subject matter was good and creative :D keep writing
Date: Aug 01, 2008 05:13 pm [Report This]
Not bad, but still not the best. I can tell it's got alot of that 'newbie' feel to it, spelling errors and thin plot work. But a decent first effort nevertheless.
You need to work on the wording, as several terms switch between present and past tenses. Also, the story could've use more depth, like having Kagome trying to find a way back home with Inuyasha bugging her until she finally departs to 'powder her nose' *or some other phrase that would leave the half-breed clueless*
Date: Jul 30, 2008 10:38 pm [Report This]