First entry left me wit a high standard to follow in part 2 methinks. Hopefully my part lived up to this one.

But.. how can a girl clogging a toilet ever be bad?

That made me laugh like no other story. Brilliant!

Good plot. Very original and well-thought-out for a Nyou fic. It reads like it was written in a hurry, though. The rest of this "review" is just a bunch of random reactions I had to parts of your story.

I've never played a "Street Fighter" game with Sakura, and only know who she is from fanart.

You don't see bloomers mentioned in fanfics very often.

Great simile: "foamier than a freshly poured beer."

The "a few hours later," "the following day, early morning," and "an hour later" tags seem amateur.

Great sentence: "'I've got you this time!' she declared as she clumsily pulled up her red bloomers and applied her skirt, a comical sight if there ever was one."

Great simile 2: "like a malformed potato"

Great line: "I'm about to introduce you to a whole new world of suffering!"

Great simile 3: "crackled louder than a set of popper fireworks"

Great sentence 2, 3 etc.: The whole paragraph that follows "Bombs away!" The gripping of the rim and her reasons for moaning are particularly nice touches.

Toshi's reaction at the end seems unnecessary. A transcript of Sakura's note following her dumping scene would have been sufficient.

Closing remark: This is the best fic I've read here in quite a while.

Author's Response:

Thanks, glad you liked it.

 

I think the transitions were ok, not the best, but they help when you're doing a short story and wanting to explain how much time has past rather than just "an hour after that"...

Ha, I enjoyed it. I loled at a few parts.

"I’m about to introduce you to a whole new world of suffering!" I don't care much for 2D fighters and, frankly, I hate Street Fighter >.< so I can't say how accurate this is to her personality, but it it would have made me chuckle either way.

The descriptions of the scenes (except the pooping scene) and characters were a bit lacking, but since you didn't spend a lot of time on the story that's understandable and I still had a picture of what was going on.

I really enjoyed it, I'm looking forward to what you and yarr can cook up in the future!