Although I've never played Resident Evil, so I can't appreciate its similarity to the opening of the second or not, I must say that I rather enjoyed this story.

Your descriptive writing is effective, and you made an effort to describe dynamically -- doing so through the narrative -- rather than statically, which is often more desirable, especially in the beginning of a story (too slow a start, and the reader loses interest) and for the character... I've always believed that it's bad to dump a character's description into a paragraph, except when the main character is meeting somebody and notices a few things about their appearance. If there's one thing I could say about it, though, is that you should be careful not to sound too contrived when you're adding a description in the middle of the narrative: don't go too heavy on compounding details at a time, otherwise it starts sounding out of place. I don't think you wrote anything really noticeable for this, but this one, for example, felt somewhat borderline: "Her form-fitting spandex suit hugged her pronounced curves as she moved."

On second thought, that might be more a problem of rhythm than of compounding description: you have adjective-noun verb (poss. adj.) adjective-noun, and the adjective-noun is two and one syllables in both cases. That might be what felt off to me. Perhaps both.

Although the story's theme was the accident more than the horror, for the sake of realism, I felt that you could have done more on the horror side. Don't get me mistaken -- your writing was compelling enough at, for example, the meeting of the zombie. But it could have been presented with even more horror, though I do understand that finding the right words for extreme emotion is difficult. Also, when she has her accident, it's as if everything else stops, even though she still has three zombies around her (presumably moving towards her... hungrily). In my opinion, instead of focusing only on her accident when it happened, you could have juggled between her imminent danger and her accident; this doesn't stop you from being as descriptive as you like on both ends, but it prevents the sense of the danger situation suddenly halting or disappearing by keeping both situations in the reader's mind, and also in the character's.

I don't have much to say, but I did like this, particularly the way that Claire messed herself, from fear ^_^

Author's Response: Yeah, fear induced accidents are always fun. Glad you liked it :)

The scenery and events are more than adequate, but the accident is best. I love your description of it and her reaction to it. She's so badass that she doesn't care on any level that she's using her pants as a portable toilet. And then there's the squishing caused by her ducking. That was a nice touch.

This might seem random, but my biggest complaint with the story is this: "There was a deafening report as the gun fired, followed by a soggy thump as the bullet entered the front of the first zombie's decaying head..." There's no way the sound of the bullet hitting the Zombie could be heard over the sound of the gunshot, since at that range the shot being fired and hitting the target would seem simultaneous to someone witnessing it.

The fact that this is my biggest complaint should tell you something about how good the rest of the story was.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, it had been sitting around on my harddrive for a while and because of that got a little more attention than most of my stories. I'm gland to know that, at least it seems, that extra effort paid off. Believe it or not, I realized the same thing about that line. I thought about putting in something about how she couldn't have heard the "soggy thump" but nothing I put in there felt right. Still, if that's you're only complaint I have to say I'm pretty pleased with this one. Thanks for your review!