Now for a review of the 2nd chaptet. The solution you wrote to the problem is creative and makes for a great mental image. But there are still some problems. It still seems to go too fast, spelling errors are common, and you don't always indent when a new character speaks.

Author's Response: Thanks for the input, unfortunatly spelling is not my strong point, and unlike when I was in college I can't just take these to the writting lab haha! I'm trying to incorperate these in my new ones. I think Code Geass will be next because I have an idea from an episode but strike witches and Kodomo no Jikan are in close competition.

I'm happy to have another good writer here. If you have more stories like this, I would love to read them. I wouldn't be into the sex and WS stuff myself, but some people here may be so I hope they'll ask if they are.

You asked for any comments and reviews you could get so here goes...

I've never seen Last Exile (or most recent anime) but I remember seeing an add for it in a magazine so I at lest have some idea what the characters look like. Actually, it sounds interesting with flying battleships and things.

I would agree with Jimmy that the chapters may be a little short, be you managed to establish a setting and general plot along with including the kind of "action" we come to this site for in just a few paragraphs.

I liked the idea of Lavie peeing in the ammo can and accidentally removing her improvised urinal wile lightening the ship but I would think she would have to use it all the time, not just once a wile ago. A lot of real bush pilots and truckers keep something to pee in with them on long trips. The image of her pissing on the side of the ship was good and I think this is the first time someone here has used the phrase "Broke/brake the seal" to describe a girl peeing, I like it. Claus reaction at the end of the first chapter was funny and I liked the way you ended with a joke.

One thing I wonder about in the second chapter, if Claus heard her fart right before she said she needed to go to the bathroom, wouldn't he assume she needed to poop? The image of the two of them running around the ship banging on locked restroom doors in the middle of a battle is interesting, I just wish that part was a little longer and more detailed. Lavie's using the pipe was creative but to me, not too realistic. I think a real girl would just have had him turn away and squatted right on the deck but I understand it's supposed to be a bonding thing for them. Personally, I feel the ending rapped up too quick and neatly with him admitting he liked it and her saying he can watch any time in just two sentences, but I don't know the characters or how close they're supposed to be.

If this story is done, can you try to go back in and change the "Completed" tag so people don't expect more?

Well I guess I count as an "experienced poster" so I hope this helps.

This is good, original, and has a nice ending. You went throught things fast, and I had toruble picturing a lot of what was going on, but that was partly because I haven't watched the show.