You should do another story with Sango, Kagome and Kagome's mother where they all have to go really bad and use the same toilet

For what it's worth, I enjoyed the bit with Kagome's mom. And like you, I'm not of fan of squat toilets.

Author's Response:

Thanks, and like I said before if just one reader liked the scene then its all worth it :), and thanks also for lookin past the little historical accuracy flaw :P

I love the premise of this, and it has good dialog and "action." But I was disappointed that it didn't feature an old-fashioned Japanese outhouse. Bench latrines like the ones you describe are inaccurate, and a copout for me. The story also seems a little rushed.

Still, I enjoyed reading it, and look forward to more stories from you.

Author's Response:

I'm startin to sense a pattern... seems the style/accuracy of the bathroom was an issue, honestly I'm not a personel fan of squat style toilets, so I decided to create a public outhouse type of bathroom through my own imagination and throw historical accuracy over my shoulder... my bad :P

As for being rushed... hmmm, well I definately took my time... I'll try and read it over to see what gave it that feel, thanks for the reviews guys I definately appreciate it :D

Just from reading the title, summery, and warnings, I knew this was going to be just my kind of thing and that I was going to love it, and I do.

Orpheum said that your descriptions of known things from the series weren't specific enough, but I would agree with you that they where enough to create the atmosphere without taking too much time. This has a quality like some of Poowrite's work that lets me picture the action as if I was watching the anime.

I have to say I was surprised to see Kagome's mom get her own toilet scene. I never saw her as attractive at all, even though she is pretty young, to me she was just a one-dimensional mother figure. I just REALLY don't get the whole M.I.L.F. thing. I do see that it's a major plot point that moves the story along, and it would be hard to find another reason that she couldn't cook, and to keep Kagome out of the bathroom, so I don't mind.

When I saw "Fast Food" in the title, I was hoping you would reference the “WcDonalds” Kagome and her friends where eating in one episode, and you did, so I liked that. I can totally believe modern fast food would have that affect on someone from medieval Japan who wasn't used to all the preservatives and fats. I also know some people who, like Kagome, can't handle too many burgers and fries from certain places (as I assume that's what they where eating).

As for Sango's reactions being correct or not, I can't say. I know a lot of weird trivia, but medieval Japanese attitudes toward female bodily functions isn't one of those things, and maybe that's the point. You could write it either way, as no one would ever know if it was realistic or not. For my part, it didn't seem confused at all, Sango just got more comfortable around her friend, like a lot of girls do in these stories.

That brings me to the one negative thing I have to say about this, the... architecture. I get, and appreciate, your trying to do a “Not Another Teen Movie” thing with Miroku, but having an enclosed bath and a Western Style outhouse indoors took me out of these scenes a little bit. As far as I know, the Japanese never had any kind of sit-down “toilet” until modern times. That didn't keep me from really enjoying these scenes and they could still be made to work with more historically correct facilities.

A wonderful first story, and quite a substantial one, as Orpheum mentioned.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the pointers man :)

Actually to be honest I was simply going to have Kagome's mom be sick and have that be the end of it, because like you, I never really found her actractive or unatractive... just simply a typical mother figure. But I figured that just because I wouldn't like it doesn't mean no one else would, so if at least one person liked it, then that's good enough for me :P. Plus i think the scene helped break up my long build up to the main climax of the story. And I knew the whole ventilated, indoor sauna / outhouse was a stretch... my main goal that formed this stretch was trying to have Miroku trapped with Kagome and Sango, and not just peering through a hole or window in the bathroom, so I guess I used a little literary license for that setting. Also I was never was a fan of japanese squat toilets, so I kind of imposed my own interests into that.

But anyway thanks agian for the critique.