You must login (register) to review.
Title: The Approach Reviewer: kingofhell Signed
the main char. is a marysue.
show dont tell.
your grade is failing

Author's Response: Then explain how I should fix it.
Date: Oct 23, 2012 03:13 am [Report This]
Title: The Approach Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed
Not bad. Though the ending dialogue seemed a little wishy washy, but I guess it does seem fitting for shy kids to say such silly things.

Author's Response: As they get more confident later on in the story, the dialogue will shift to match
Date: Jun 23, 2012 01:44 pm [Report This]
You must login (register) to review.