Word to the wise: much like Pogo mentioned the CAPS LOCK thing ('cause Caps Lock INS'T autopilot for cool), I RESPECT that you have Autism, but don't use that as an excuse that others to read. You don't wanna be another Chris Chandler who uses his spectrum disorder as a scape goat.
Like I said, I've got ADD, but I don't like using it for excuses of any kind.
Author's Response: Oh, okay, I understand. However, I'm glad everyone's agreeing that I did good job on writing this Fic.
Reviews For Soul Calibur 5: Ivy has to pee
Date: Nov 15, 2012 02:30 pm [Report This]
This is a nice scene. The description of her using the pot is quite good. I love the line "Now that's what I like to call a true warrior's piss." Like the F.E.A.R. story, I think it would be better if you beefed it up with more descriptive prose. Maybe it's just me, but I'm use to reading stories like this as paragraphs, not brief lines. Here, you should go into more detail when you describe Ivy's search, and describe her feelings as she gets more and more desperate. There's some of that already, but I think you could build it up a lot more, and that would make the final payoff that much sweeter. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thanks, man! I'll add more description in the next Fics I'll write.
Author's Response: Thanks, man! I'll add more description in the next Fics I'll write.
Date: Nov 13, 2012 10:52 pm [Report This]
Well, that wasn't too bad of a read (with the line breaks, it wasn't slow) but...I kind of thought it was strange how after a lengthy search, Ivy just happens to find out where she puts the chamberpots. A slight nit pick on my part and I'm kind of sorry to mention it like that.
The only real deal I want to mention is perhaps your choice of summary. I think you need to make your summaries a tad brief and not feel like you're gonna get a heart attack of sorts as just by reading that alone made me feel a tad imtimidated (I DIDN'T PUT THAT THERE AND I'M NOT TRYING TO STEAL ANYONE'S IDEAS!!! for example). While I am aware of your statements meaning well...I'm pretty everyone in the site is well aware of this already and won't judge you since nearly everyone does fanfics. Just keep the disclaimer with a calm tone in your typing and you might get people to read it without feeling like you wrote this while the creators of Soul Calibur has a gun to your head.
Look, all in all, you got a decent story and I can say you worked hard on it. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks, man! I honestly didn't know how much to drag this out, as with my other works, and it turned out like this. However, I'm glad you took the time to read it.
Date: Nov 11, 2012 04:57 pm [Report This]