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Title: Roll's Stomach Ache Reviewer: Poowrite Anonymous

I thought this was pretty good. The situation was reasonable, an innocent mistake that leads to an explosively messy session on the toilet.

There were some paragraphing issues, grammar, etc... but overall it didn't take much away from the story from me. Though, breaking up the walls of text would have made it easier to read :).

Overall, very good. The situation was good, the build up and eventual release were both very good as well. Hope to see some more from you.



Author's Response: Thank you for the advice! Personally, grammer has always been tricky at times, as my speech in real life is just as awkward, so grammer mistakes that are easy to spot for others are non-existent to me (constant use of commas is one I will admit to being just poor grammer and not poor speech.) Glad you like it, these problems are easy to fix! Well, I hope you continue reading.
Date: Nov 25, 2012 07:27 pm [Report This]
Title: Roll's Stomach Ache Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Nice to see a Megaman story, think it's the first one.

Set up is pretty nice, but there are some flaws.

The bold font could be done away with, and some of the paragraphs should be broken up. I would also say a few explanations, like the mentions of past events should be expanded on, so they feel more like set ups than just little aside things.

 

Otherwise, a nice story.



Author's Response: Thanks for the critiques! All of the flaws can easily be fixed, so it's nitce to have a frame of reference! Thank you kidnly sir!
Date: Nov 25, 2012 04:14 am [Report This]
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