You must login (register) to review.
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: OrpheumZero Signed

Pretty much like what Poowrite said. It's a nice, quick story, but disappointingly short.

 

Like it could use some dialogue, and a more developed backdrop for the story. Like maybe Zelda is being escorted to a village, on some kind of special trip. This way it gives a conflict for Impa to be distracted and unable to void herself. 

Date: Aug 07, 2013 12:19 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Poowrite Signed
Not a bad little story, really. Quick. To the point. There were opportunities to do more with it, I think. For example, Impa's desperation might have been better described. How was she feeling? What was she thinking, etc...

I'm not a stickler for spelling or grammar, really, but there were a few errors. Also, I strongly recommend that you separate paragraphs with a blank line. I had to copy the story into a word processor and insert them myself to even read it.

Overall, it really wasn't a bad story. I hope I haven't given the impression that I didn't like it. I hope to see more from you!

Author's Response: Thanks. Hard to believe this is the only Zelda entry here. I also edited my first story here as well.
Date: Dec 27, 2012 01:02 am [Report This]
You must login (register) to review.