This was a fun little chapter. Not very substantial, but great urination descriptions and humor.

The story about Miss Marvelous is funny and cute. At first it confused me, but now I'm pretty sure you mean she wore her superheroine costume under her civilian clothes, and forgot to take off her civilian panties when she took off the rest of that layer.

It kind of bothers me that you don't change all the names (i.e. Jubilation and Genosha).

Now you've got me curious about Lyconitum (based on Wolfsbane/Rahne?) just like you made me curious about Miss Marvelous last time.

Oh and by the way, I'd like to write a story set in this universe if I can have your permission.

Did this come from my request for a Storm peeing fic? Because it fulfills that desire perfectly! I mean besides it not being the real Storm. Maybe it even works better, since the peeing character here isn't so uptight. I like how it's a team effort: one losing bladder control and the other hiding it by making it rain. The desperation leading up to this is also exciting to read.

Great descriptions of the characters. I love the opening scene with Typhoon lying on the lake's surface like it's a bed.

Now for the stuff I wasn't so crazy about. I'm a little confused by the universe. I'm guessing all the silliness in the story was too much for a fanfic set in a "real" comic universe. But if you're not going to use the Marvel characters, why not make these characters a little more original? The similarities seem excessive, even for a parody. I'm not sure who Aquamarine is based on, but Typhoon is Storm in almost every way, and most of the characters mentioned are very recognizable. The Nightcrawler copy is even named Kurt.

The story about Marvelous really confuses me. Either you left something out or I'm bad at reading between the lines, because I can't tell what it's about.

I thought the narrator jokes fell flat. Some of the humor really works, though. I loved how Typhoon burst out of the water like she was in "a commercial for overpriced shampoo" and how Aquamarine's breasts were "jiggling like a pair of beach balls in the hands of hyperactive toddlers."

Overall it's an enjoyable story, and it definitely doesn't disappoint in the peeing department.

Author's Response:

Indeed, that particular plot point was based on your suggestion. In response to your questions:

I didn't even remember what Nightcrawler's real name was, and picked 'Kurt' at random.

The mention of Marvelous is a sequel hook, it'll get explained better if I get around to writing another chapter.

Aquamarine is not based on anyone as far as I know, mostly because I couldn't think of a character with the right powers for what I wanted to go about doing. That's also part of the reason I used expies instead of the real characters: it's easier to not have to justify any changes that the plot requires this way.

I raelize that the narration was inconsistent, especially later on. At first it was easier to write when I imagined it was narrated by the guy from Arrested Development, but eventually I realized that most of the narration gags from that series don't work so well in a text medium.