Reviews For Desperate Witches
a huge improvement, will be reading this one
Date: Apr 25, 2014 09:09 pm [Report This]
Promising, but could be better. For one, a teaser shouldn't feel like it's a jumble of sentences and paragraphs thrown together. And some of the language the girls use feels too out of character.
Date: Apr 14, 2014 12:31 am [Report This]
Very nice! Good descriptions, concise but effective. I noticed a few errors ("she hurriedly gathered her belongs," etc.) which didn't really detract too much from the story, but maybe consider proofreading it a little more next time.
Looking forward to more!
Looking forward to more!
Date: Apr 12, 2014 04:19 pm [Report This]
it's a bit rushed for me. maybe that's cause it's a preview.
i know it's a fap fic but they all just seem totally out of character which breaks the immersion.
still, i'll be keeping an eye on this story. very hopeful.
Date: Apr 12, 2014 05:29 am [Report This]
Fantastic so far, can't wait to read more. Your descriptions are concise but thorough, and your imagery rich.
Date: Apr 12, 2014 03:07 am [Report This]
Looks interesting so far. Saying this was a teaser, can we get a full-length soon? Also, detail is appreciated.
Date: Apr 11, 2014 07:37 am [Report This]
Excellent! Eagerly awaiting more! Could I humbly request a bit more farting?
Date: Apr 10, 2014 07:26 pm [Report This]